Olympian Sniffles
by Owlion12
Summary: "You caught a little bug we immortals have nicknamed The Olympian Sniffles. It's like a violent chickenpox, but only demigods can get it. Until it passes, you'll be staying with us!" After waking from a feverish coma, demigods must live with their immortal family until they recover from a rare godly illness, healed by family bonding, sibling rivalry, shipping and bedtime stories!
1. I almost puke on my girlfriend

**Hello, my little Owlion cubs! This is Hermie, one of the two authors of Owlion12! This is the first fanfic I am writing independantly without much help or involvement from Thennie, the other author, and, unlike our previous stories ( _14 Gods Around the World_ and _Olympus Got Talent!)_ , these chapters will be shorter, less detailed and not span the course of several paragraphs! Yay!**

 **Credit ges out to my American friend icecream401 for motivating me to write this, and I have thuroughly enjoyed every step of the way, from planning and conversing about ideas!**

 **Many ships are included as the love boats set sail, so please review and PM me if you have any suggestions! Now, without further ado...**

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **Do you Americans know what a tuque is? I wonder if Ricky from Texas does! I do! I have one! Therefore, not Ricky!**

* * *

Percy and Annabeth sat under a tree, holding hands, watching the stars and fireworks come up from the shores of Long Island Sound, Annabeth's head resting in the nice little space between Percy's head and shoulder. Summer had just begun; the battle against Gaea finally finished, Leo returned safely home with Calypso in tow, and everything seeming back to normal for the first time since Percy had found out he was a demigod. They sat together as they almost dozed off.

Everything was perfect.

"Next year will be our last summer here." Annabeth said, bringing her legs up and folding them under her arms, hugging them close to her chest. "I've been coming here all my life; it's pretty hard to believe." Her fingers met her father's college ring on her camp necklace.

"It makes me wish I had more time." Percy replied, leaning back against the tree. "Whatever life I could have lived as a camper has been taken over by prophecies and dangerous quests-"

"That many of us here have longed for." Annabeth cut in. "The life that you lead, the life of swinging a sword against more than just a dummy or other camper, the life of diving head first into danger and returning home from war with glory and a girlfriend-"

"The life of constantly worrying over if said girlfriend is alright." He finished, tucking his arm around her waist. "It's cruel the way it's meant to play out; a god has kids they aren't allowed to have, said kid gets all the grief and uncontrollable powers and everyone out to kill them, but they can't help it if their dad is Poseidon or not."

"Seaweed Brain?"

"What?"

"You think too much for a Sea-Spawn." She leaned up to kiss him. Percy followed, then pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really…" he began. "Lately, I've been feeling a little… off. My head has been spinning and my stomach always feels empty when I'm not eating, but when I try to eat, it feels full, and my throat's been hurting-"

"Go see the Apollo kids, then." Annabeth replied, standing and brushing herself off. "How long have you felt like this?"

"About two weeks." Annabeth whistled.

"Your brain is full of more seaweed than I thought." Percy stood up and followed her. About halfway to the cabins, he stopped, falling to his knees, his head felt like tidal waves were crashing into each other, blurred black patches dancing in his eyes. He called what he thought sounded like Annabeth's name and tried to focus on the rocks on the path at his feet.

"Percy! Percy, are you alright? Percy! Can you hear me?" Annabeth was in front of him, that much he could tell. His body was heating up; sweat was running off his face quickly in huge drops. How hot was he if he was already sweating? His back was on fire, his arms were made of steel that was melting, his hands and knees were digging into the rocks on the path. More people were calling his name, but he couldn't see them. The stupid black patches were in the way. He felt several people touching him on his arms and back, one of them lifting his head. A single shout of his name made it through to his brain before he had enough.

Percy yelled, sending a mixture of his lunch and supper flying only inches away from hitting Annabeth. His throat had exploded; tied to tight he couldn't breathe or speak.

"A… ha…" he managed, his vision going black as he fell sideways, unconscious, onto Annabeth's chest.

* * *

"Is he okay? Come on, answer me, Solace-"

"Calm down, di Angelo, he's got the-"

"I don't want to know what he has! I just want to know if he's okay-"

"Yes, yes, he's fine! He'll be back to normal once his fever goes down all the way, simmer down!" Percy tried to speak. It felt like a ball of air was blocking his throat, preventing any sound to emerge even though he was moving his vocal chords. "He has a sickness called _quem semideum malus infirmitate_ ," a male voice began. Percy could see the two people sitting on a bench by his bed, but he couldn't tell who they were. His eyes were still blurred and his head was still spinning, unable to feel any other part of his body. "It's rare and hasn't surfaced into the world for a while, but it's not fatal if you know the proper treatment." He finished. The second person sighed in relief.

"I'm just glad he's alright." Percy recognized this voice. "You scared me, telling me he's been out for a week straight…" There was the sound of clothes ruffling.

"I'm sorry. I should have been clearer." Someone sniffled. "Are you crying?"

"So what? I was worried! And I'm trying not to, geez…"

"Well, you aren't very good at it. Does it hurt?"

"Hurt where?"

"In here."

"I was scared you idiot, my heart is still-"

"You should have told me. I'm a doctor; I know what I'm doing."

"What are you going to do? Kiss it better?"

"Mm." Percy's eyes cleared.

"N… Nic… oh?" Nico pulled away from the blonde boy he sat beside, whose lips were only inches away from his.

"P-Percy!" he stammered, his face turning bright red. The blonde boy reached over to an I.V, pressed a button and watched as Percy's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Good old knock out stuff.

"Where were we?" Will asked, putting his arm around Nico. Nico furrowed his brow in a way reserved only for the very confused. That had been terrifying.

"Kissing it better."

* * *

 **I am such a huge SolAngelo shipper...** **As always, thank you for reading! Please review, but read the next chapter first! Speaking of the next chapter...**

 _ **"What do you think you're doing in my chair?!"**_

 _ **"Well, you didn't get up earlier, so I was offered this seat, actually."**_

 _ **"You get out of this ocean right now or I'll-"**_

 _ **"Triton! Please... Just stop..."**_

 _ **"Shut up, Rhode! Stop siding with him because of that stupid little girl crush you have on him because your husband faded-"**_

 _ **"DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE-"**_


	2. Amphitrite destroys breakfast

**Thank you for picking up chapter two of _Olympian Sniffles_! I was super excited to write this chapter since I got to introduce a new goddess; Rhode! I have seen her name spelt Rhode and Rhodes, but let's just call her Rhode! I love this chapter and had a ton of fun writing the dialogue for Triton and Rhode, and I hope I can continue to develop these characters in future chapters!**

 **This is also the first of four chapters that deal with Percy and his time with Mr. and Mrs. Poseidon! Read on, review and enjoy!**

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **Americans have Milk Duds. I love Milk Duds, but us Canadians have something even more awesome... Maple Candy! Therefore, I am not Rick Riordan!**

* * *

When Percy woke up again, he was surrounded by water, which helped his physical condition, but sent his mental condition spiralling into confusion. Why was he underwater? Why were there a ton of little, baby jellyfish with no tentacles floating around near the roof like little bubbles or moving tiles? Why did a ray just float through the curtains of his window? More importantly, where was he?

He sat up in the white silk sheets of a large, circular bed and looked around. Light was coming in from the window, lighting up the water on the floor and walls and the scales of little fish that floated by. The water was warm and tasted salty; Percy knew he must be in the ocean. There was a small bedside table next to his bed, a desk and dresser in either corner of the room, a door parallel to his bed. Percy fell back into the covers, watching his hair float up from the pillow. He felt much better; still groggy, a little dizzy, really empty and very hungry. As if on cue, the door opened.

"Oh, Percy! You're awake!"

"Hello, Lady Amphitrite." Percy replied, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat as his step-mother entered the room, carrying a bowl in her hands. "Am I..?"

"In our palace." She replied, seating herself in a chair beside his bed. "I'm certain you have a few questions you'd like answered."

"Yeah, like why am I here when I collapsed like that at camp? Not that there's anything wrong with here, I mean…" he stammered. Amphitrite smiled and placed the bowl on his lap.

"Here, have some ambrosia. I'll explain everything, but don't push yourself; you still need rest even if your fever has passed." She began, folding her hands over her lap. "You caught a little bug we immortals have nicknamed The Olympian Sniffles. It's like a violent chickenpox, but only demigods can get it. Until it passes, you'll be staying with us!"

"Can't you get it?" Amphitrite shook her head.

"No; only demigods. The only thing you have to watch out for is that it's contagious, which is why you're staying here away from camp so no one else gets it. It has always begun with a very strong fever, which is why you've been unconscious for so long, and it leaves you with mildly flu-like symptoms; things like getting a rash or vomiting or feeling dizzy all the time. It's strange, though… it disappeared around the beginning of the 1900's, but now that it's back on our radar, you have all of Olympus stirred up again, ready to take precautions in case anyone else catches it."

"Great, like that's never happened before." Percy joked, eating a handful of ambrosia. Amphitrite smiled and rolled her eyes. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in!" Amphitrite called. Percy set down his bowl as the door opened. A young girl wearing a bouncy looking white dress and tropical flowers in her hair entered, her hair a very light shade of green based turquoise and her eyes as blue as Amphitrite's.

"Mother, breakfast is ready…" she said, softly, looking away from Percy once their eyes met. Amphitrite smiled.

"Thank you, Rho. We'll be there shortly." The girl shut the door quickly and softly. "That's my daughter, Rhode." Amphitrite explained. "You'll have to be patient with her; she's a little shy and cries easily, but she's a very nice girl." Percy slid from the bed and let his stiff legs touch the ground. He was still wearing his camp shirt and jeans, watching as they fluttered in the water. "Don't rush yourself; the breakfast room is down the hall to your left, and you won't miss it." Amphitrite said, making her way out the door.

"Thank you, Lady Amphitrite." Percy did a lap around the room. Then he realized Annabeth had no idea if he was alright. Well, she probably did know that his fever was down, but she didn't know he was awake and well and not dying, and now he was rambling on like an idiot. He would have to send her an Iris Message later and check in on camp, half expecting them to have boarded up the Poseidon Cabin and put him in isolation for a month. Following that, the campers might go all Black Death on the Olympians, doing something Annabeth had once told him about where they chanted and smacked themselves in the face with planks, begging the Olympians for forgiveness. Percy thought it would be funny, and the gods would get a kick out of it. He would have to pitch the idea to Chiron later.

Amphitrite, Rhode and Poseidon sat waiting for him in the dining hall at a long, elegant table, platters of detailed food sculptures waiting for them. There was a whale build out of fruit, a whole underwater rock sculpture built out of pancakes with syrup and small fruits, a starfish made from sausages and even a juice fountain that looked like a jellyfish. Speaking of jellyfish, they were still present, too. Percy had never seen so many in Poseidon's palace, at least not the little ones that lacked tentacles. A few of them had found homes on Poseidon's shoulders and head as he reclined in his chair, watching as Rhode caught them in her hands and bounced them back up into the water as they piled on her head.

"Good morning, Percy!" Poseidon called, pulling out the seat beside him at the head of the table. "Come in and sit! We were waiting for you to start!"

"Father, what about…" Rhode trailed off, turning her head to face her father and causing some of the jellyfish to fall off. Poseidon raised his brow.

"If Triton is late for breakfast, he is late for breakfast." He replied. "We waited for Percy because he is our guest and is ill. Triton, on the other hand, was up all last night bringing up the price of this month's electricity bill."

"Now, Poseidon, we can make him pay for it." Amphitrite said, seating herself opposite Percy beside Rhode. "Rho, would you let your friends go for a minute?" Rhode nodded and stood up, causing all the jellyfish to fall around her like confetti and pedal themselves up to the roof, where they floated among the other sea creatures that traveled through Poseidon's palace.

"Now, we can begin!" Poseidon said, reaching out to the sausage starfish. "Percy, eat whatever you like! Or, well, whatever you can eat."

"Thank you." Percy replied, deciding to start with a few fruits. The four of them sat in silence as they ate until Rhode spoke up.

"Umm… I…"

"Come on, Rho. You can do it." Poseidon said, setting down his fork. "Is this what you told me you wanted to say to Percy?" Rhode nodded and turned red in the face, staring at her lap, her eyes occasionally sneaking a peek at Percy, who had frozen waiting for her to continue with a few blueberries in his hand. Finally, she took a deep breath and stood from her chair quickly, knocking it to the floor behind her.

"Thank you for saving us during the war against Kronos and the war against Gaea!" she yelled, softly, struggling to get the words out as her face became redder.

"No problem." Percy replied, even though there had been plenty of problems along the way. Was this actually the first time any immortal had thanked him for saving the world twice? Was it the first time anyone had?

Rhode pulled her chair back to its feet and sat down, smiling shyly at her pancakes. Amphitrite put her hand on her daughter's back.

"Rhode has always really admired you, Percy." She began. "She's been watching you on your quests since the Kronos incident-"

"Mother!" Rhode exclaimed. Amphitrite laughed.

"Don't worry, Percy." Poseidon said softly, leaning closer to him as Amphitrite and Rhode spoke about how embarrassing it was for Rhode. "My Rho isn't a stalker like Hades or Hera. I brought her up better than that. She just really likes you, and I don't blame her for wanting to meet you. Triton can be… difficult with her. It would do her some good to have a new brother for a change, especially since she's so shy-"

"Father! Not you, too!" Rhode exclaimed, burying her head in her hands.

"Rho, I didn't mean to-"

"Rhode, I don't care if you're embarrassed or shy or anything." Percy said. "Actually… It's really nice to be thanked like that and… know how much the immortals appreciate it. I guess it's nice to finally have a god who doesn't hate you or want to kill you… and someone who admires you." Rhode kept her head in her hands, though she nodded. They ate in silence, Poseidon and Amphitrite alternating awkward looks between each other, Percy and Rhode, who was smiling and seemed to be glowing a little brighter in the water.

Eventually, the large set of doors leading into the hall burst open, angry footsteps echoing off the walls even though they were underwater.

"Why didn't anybody get me up?!" Triton yelled, advancing toward the table, glaring at his father. "I'm supposed to meet some guys from the Japanese pantheon to learn to fight sea monsters using nothing but my bare hands, and now I'm going to be late-" His voice fell when he saw Percy. Rhode had pulled a large sting ray from above her head and pulled it over her ears like the flaps on a tuque, her eyes shut in anticipation of her brother's yell. "What are you doing here?!" He yelled, hot bubbles like those from an underwater volcano practically exploding from his ears. "Explain yourself, you arrogant little mortal! You can't just come down here whenever you wish, especially if you're going to sit beside my father-"

"Calm down, Triton." Poseidon began, his voice stern. "Percy is here as our guest, not a punching bag. I invited him to this seat because there was no one else sitting in it, and I did not see your name etched on the back on a silver card. He is ill, so show some manners and respect." Triton's eyebrow twitched.

"Respect?" he asked, laughing. "You're telling me to show respect for this? Please, Father, I am a god! Why in the name of Zeus should I respect-"

"Because of all the things he's done for us!" Rhode yelled, standing from her seat. Her fists were clenched tightly around the skirt of her dress, her knuckles trembling. "If it weren't for Percy, we wouldn't be here! For all you know, we could be being treated as slaves by Kronos and his empire, and yet even though you're a horrible person Percy went and saved this fancy life of ours that you abuse by being so arrogant!" Her voice was swelling and shaking. Percy could tell she was trying hard not to cry as she stared Triton in the eye, who glared at her menacingly in return. "It's no wonder Percy is Father's favorite if he only has someone like you to compare him to! The only way you'll ever best him is if you're both on even footing, but that'll never happen because Percy is a kind person and you're just a-"

"Shut up, Rhode!" Triton burst, slamming his fists on the table and leaning across so he could be closer to his sister. Rhode tried hard not to back away a noticeable amount, her courage melting into fear, desperately wanting to bring the skirt of her dress to her face and hide. "What did he do during that war? Snuck around from place to place, avoiding the risk of being injured, and I heard he didn't even take Kronos' life, but rather it was the mortal who he had overcome to ultimately ended the fight! I fought of legions of his troupes left and right trying to protect my home! I was hurt, split apart, pushed so far beyond my limits that I couldn't remember where I had been before and fighting without rest to protect you! And now you're saying that I'm arrogant? That I didn't do anything to save my home? My family? Stop siding with him because of that stupid little girl crush you have on him because your husband faded-"

Percy felt his patience snap as he rose from his seat and grabbed Triton by his shoulders, wrestling him away from the table and Rhode. He managed to push him into the chair beside them, despite the limp feeling in his muscles, feeling like something was blocking him in his body from punching Triton as hard as he could and hated it for preventing him to do so.

"Don't talk to her like-" Percy managed, before his throat clogged up. It felt twisted around like a wrung out cloth. He pushed and held his neck as he leaned on the table for support, his head pounding.

"Percy, are you alright?" Amphitrite asked, leaving her seat and crossing behind Poseidon's to get to her step-son. Percy felt his own volcano erupt inside his body as he let loose the meals he had collected over the past week of being unconscious, not knowing he had that much in him. The four gods watched in horror, disgust and awe as wondrous colors that none of them recognized filled the water and floated up around the table as Percy coughed up another batch of puke, sending chunks of gods don't know what all over their food and into the water, which is basically the equivalent of air with zero gravity. Poseidon backed away as quickly as he could, Amphitrite patted Percy's back to prevent him from chocking, Triton began laughing loudly in his seat.

"Oh my gods!" He heaved, struggling to breathe as he laughed. "Did you actually just throw up all over the meal offered to you by your hosts?! 'Here as our guest' has some limits, you know! Sick or not sick, you could have at least not done something so childish! You're such a-"

"Triton!" Amphitrite boomed, growing ten feet tall without growing at all, towering over her son as she glared at him. "What did your father say?" she hissed, her hands twitching as her own trident, a little smaller than Poseidon's, appeared in her fist. "Honestly, I should expect more from our son! If you really want to be his favorite, you should at least try to earn our respect! Unlike me, Poseidon has options and standards other than who came out of his womb, so you will be kind and respectful, especially towards your younger siblings!" With that, she raised her trident and zapped the table with a bright blue current of energy, blasting it into a million tiny bubbles, their half-finished meals up in water, the chairs vanishing.

Triton's eyes were full of terror as he backed away from his mother. Poseidon cleared his throat behind his wife, lowering her arm holding her trident as she breathed heavily, trying to calm down.

"Triton," he began, his voice deep. "Do you have anything you wish to say to us?" Triton gulped and stared at the ground.

"Please excuse me, Father, Mother." He managed, before he fled the room with his tail between his legs. Percy was still coughing up the small bits of his food that remained, fallen to the floor. His lungs felt like they were ready to burst, something like Annabeth had told him about how she felt when she swam underwater and was running out of oxygen. He was glad he was a son of the sea god; this feeling was one he hoped never to feel again. Poseidon lifted him to his feet.

"It's alright, Percy." He managed, rubbing his son on his back, which made Percy feel a little better. "I'll get you to a toilet and you can clean up. Don't worry about the mess out there; Amphitrite and I will look after it. Triton has been acting up a lot lately, so please, don't trouble yourself with him."

"Yeah, but he was yelling at Rhode… Where did Rhode go?" Percy turned around and examined the room. Only Amphitrite remained, cleaning the water above where the table had stood, vacuuming the puke with a sting ray. Poseidon turned his son to face him.

"I'll go find Rhode, but first, we should look after you." He said, leading him out of the dining hall. They walked in silence.

"What did Triton mean when he said Rhode's husband faded?" Percy finally asked, breaking the tension that surrounded them.

"Rhode was married to the sun Titan, Helios." Poseidon began. "They loved each other immensely, and Hera always said they were a perfect couple during our age. My daughter was the happiest goddess on earth, and he was very kind to her and always made her smile. When the Roman Empire rose, things began to fall apart. Helios never lost is kindness, but he was around her less and less, almost to the point of neglect. Rhode's happiness faded one day along with him, and she's been living with us ever since." Poseidon's eyes became dark with sadness. Percy wondered if he hadn't seen her smile the way she had before ever since Helios had left. "But, when you showed up," Poseidon added. "Some light came back to her eyes. This morning… she didn't smile the way she smiled only for Helios. She smiled from happiness without him, and… I can tell you that Amphitrite and I both believe that has made all the difference in getting our little Rho back."

* * *

 **Rhode! I loved writing the dialogue for this chapter and continuing the ever popular "Who's the better kid?" complex with Triton! Tell me your thoughts in the reviews and in PMs (Not PMS; you Cabin 11 kids know what I mean!) and suggestions for other demigods are always welcome!**

 **Here's a preview of the next chapter!**

 _ **"Hey, Purse-Man. I thought about what Rhode said. She has a point, so now, I'm going to beat you when we are both equals."**_

 _ **"And how will you do that, Trightie-Whities?"**_

 _ **"The way history did it! We're gonna be communists until one of us goes bankrupt!"**_

 _ **"Percy... I would run if I were you..."**_

 _ **"Clam it, Rhode! You're playing, too! Mother! Father! It's time for family game night!"**_


	3. Triton practises Communism

**I'm back! And I have to say, wow you guys! Thanks for giving so many Follows, Favs and Reviews to both this story and Owlion12! I really apprechiate it!**

 **Some shout-outs before we get started! _Sweet Cats_ wanted more of Percy puking, and it made it in in a very... interesting fashion, I suppose! Thank you, as always, _icecream401,_** **for your help with the Cards Against Humanity/Immortality section to keep this chapter interesting! Also, Communist Monopoly is actually a really fun game, but do not play it if you get easily offended! If you have any questions about the rules, PM me and I'd be happy to explain, but it's best played with three or more people!**

 **I guess I should "clam it" and let you all get to reading! Thank you so much for supporting Owlion12, and remember to review if you have anything you want your demigods to do in later chapters! The ideas box is always open! Oh, and as a final note to those who read this, this chapter does not ship Percy and Rhode together. Just thought I'd point that out now before things get awkward!**

 **DISLCAIMER**

 **Another disclaimer? Poo... Poseidon uses luminescent jelly fish to light his palace. I'm sure Rick just made it glow in the dark... or something...**

* * *

Rhode sat on a rug in what could be called the family room of Poseidon's palace, surrounded by colorful fish who were resting on her back or giving her little fish kisses, trying to cheer her up. The goddess was seated on her legs, her head buried in the back of a manatee that sat patiently beside her, being there for her as she cried. It was night now in the palace; the whole room dark save for the large florescent jelly fish that floated all around her on the roof and near the ground, casting a magical glow on the seafloor walls and making Rhode glow. She was holding a ring tightly in her clenched fist, squeezing it so hard that it felt like to would break into her skin as she tried to squeeze off the pain in her heart and stomach. Rhode hadn't eaten since that morning when Triton had called her out, though it didn't seem as though time had moved since that morning either.

Amphitrite stood with the door open ajar, watching her daughter with a worried look on her face as the flowers in Rhode's hair dropped down and fell off one by one. Poseidon pulled his wife into his arms when she turned away from the door.

"I've never seen her like this…" she managed, pulling back tears of her own. "Rhode only cried a little before… Not even when Helios left, she barely shed a tear the whole time, saying she needed to be strong when she needed strength the most…"

"It must be from what Triton said." Poseidon added. "We haven't spoken about Helios since the week we mourned him, unless Rhode brought him up or you asked a question about the way he helped her do various chores."

"And this is the part of her she hid for all that time… After all those centuries of holding it in, she's really missed him, even today." They watched her in silence. "Should we go in and try talking to her?" Poseidon shook his head.

"I think, now, she just needs to let it all out before she'll be ready to talk. We'll take her to bed later tonight." He led his wife down the hall, feeling very damp under all the pressure the seafloor had to bring.

Rhode wasn't a scream crier, so Percy almost didn't notice her as he walked past the family room on his way to the kitchen, his appetite finally resurfacing. The noticed the golden lights inside the room and peeked in briefly, almost continuing to walk until he noticed Rhode's turquoise hair among the mountain of fish that had swarmed around her. He pushed open the door and stepped inside, not saying a thing as he picked up on the soft sound of her crying. The fish that covered her like a shield floated away as he approached his hand to her back, kneeling on the rug beside her.

"Hey." She gasped and scooted away quickly when his hand touched her dress. Her shoulders sagged when she saw it was only him.

"Percy… You scared me…" she managed between breaths, her crying clogging up her nostrils. Rhode crawled back to her original position and watched as the manatee took liking to Percy, nuzzling its nose into his chest affectionately.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were so zoned out." He replied, pushing the manatee away from him softly. Rhode wouldn't meet his eyes, despite being seated before him. Her own eyes were puffy and red, like she had been applying too much pressure on them for too long, and her cheeks were flustered, tears running down them and vanishing into the water as they dripped off her chin. "Do you want to talk?" Percy asked, reclining against the side of the manatee.

"Is that what mortals do when they're upset?" Rhode asked. Percy nodded.

"Yeah. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I… I don't know…" she sniffled, wiping her eyes.

"This is about what Triton said to you at breakfast, right? About… about Helios." Rhode only nodded and hugged her arms around her shoulders, burying her head in her knees.

"Triton… Is such an idiot… I… I didn't get a chance to say goodbye… Helios…" she managed, softly, her shoulders shaking and her breathing heavy, her voice shaking and swelling the way it had at breakfast, only this time, she spoke much softer, clearer. "He faded because he wasn't worshiped enough… and he began to stay away from me… and he always looked like he had been crying… and I wanted to help him, but…" Rhode began crying at full volume and moved her hands to her head, gripping the top of her hair and her hands shook. "I should have been there!" she yelled. "He promised me he'd be there for me and that we'd make it through together, but… Why wasn't I there for him?!" Percy put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.

"Hey, don't blame yourself. If you don't want to feel anger, the last person you should feel it towards is yourself."

"But if I'd been there, I could have helped him! I could have told him I wasn't going to leave him!" Faster than Percy could process it, Rhode was crying into his chest and his arms were around her.

"It's not your fault he faded." Percy began, hoping Annabeth wouldn't freak out if she found out her was hugging his half-sister. "How do you think Helios would feel is he saw you crying like this? I'd be torn apart if I saw my girlfriend crying over me if I died, in fact, I know first-hand what it feels like; it's something anyone would call worse than fading. If he really loved you, he would have chosen to fade over seeing you hurt like this, and if you really love him, you would be strong and keep going. It's okay to be sad, but not for all this time! Helios probably stayed away because he didn't want to see you hurt over the way he was fading, and I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do, but he really cared about you! I know I sound like a jerk when I say this, but you've got to move on, Rhode. You need to stop crying and start living again!" Rhode fell silent, looking up at him with swollen eyes as she moved away off his chest.

"What do you mean by moving on?" she asked, slowly, her gaze falling quickly to her lap as she sniffled. "No one has ever told me that before…"

"What? Why?"

"Because no one has ever seen me like this…" Rhode almost whispered. Her hands moved quickly to her eyes and she tried to wipe her tears, but was futile as more kept coming out. "I guess that makes two of us… I was the first person to thank you… and you were the first to see me cry…" The ring she held in her hand fell to her lap as she rubbed her face. Percy picked it up and examined it. It was gold with an ancient Greek styled patterns carved in the side, but as he moved it around in his hand, the pattern shifted to a light turquoise and glowed in the light of the jellyfish that lit the room around them.

"Helios gave me that ring when we got married." Rhode explained, taking it carefully from his palm and sliding it on her ring finger. "I don't wear it on my finger much anymore… one day, I almost lost it. Helios and my parents and I searched for it all day… I'd dropped it while I was outside… and Helios found it inside an anemone. I was so upset that I ran and hid for a while… but he found me, just like he had found the ring. He told me… that I couldn't cry now that I had it back and that everyone makes mistake… he wasn't mad, either, just glad I could be happy… and told me that there are always second chances to fix out mistakes… if you believe in them… and he got me a chain to put the ring on so I wouldn't lose it again…" A dozen of little glowing jellyfish floated between them, lighting a small smile on Rhode's face as she looked at her ring. "Maybe… that's the same as moving on…"

"It means… you don't dwell in the past, but you don't forget it, either." Percy replied, putting his hands on her shoulders so their eyes met. "It's okay to cry, but someday you'll run out of tears, even if you live in the middle of the sea, and when that day comes, you have to be happy, because others need you; Poseidon, Amphitrite, Triton, me and yourself; we all need you, Rhode. You make us happy, and we want to make you happy, too… Just like Helios said, there are always second chances if you believe in them."

"Really..?" Rhode asked, her eyes wide.

"Really." Percy almost laughed at how behind Rhode was on clichés like this. "This morning, I wasn't feeling well, but when you thanked me and talked to me, I felt happier. So when Triton spoke out against you after you defended me, I knew I had to help you. It's something we should expect people to do. I-"

"Rhode?" Percy spun around and faced the door he had come through, where Poseidon and Amphitrite were looking in on them. Rhode's eyes grew wide as her eyes retreated into her lap.

"Oh, Rhode…" Amphitrite ran into the room and knelt on the floor beside her daughter and pulled her into her arms. "Everything's going to be alright… We'll go get Triton so he can apologize and then we can talk-"

"Mother… Percy and I… we talked…" Rhode replied, adjusting her head so it fit against her mother's shoulder. "And… I think… I think maybe I'm better now."

"Come, the floor is no place to cry, Rho." Poseidon said, taking his daughter's hand and smiling as he helped her to the couch, seating her in between himself and Amphitrite. He put his arm around her shoulder. "Take all the time you need to cry; we'll be right here."

"Thank you… Thank you all…" Rhode sniffled as Poseidon wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Come on!" he exclaimed, lifting his head to the ceiling. "Which one of you sea dwellers is relieving themselves on my cute daughter's face, huh? You want a piece of this?! No one pisses on my little girl and gets away with it!" Rhode giggled and blinked away her tears.

"Father…" she chuckled, as though she was embarrassed to laugh.

"What's this?" Poseidon bellowed, raising his trident into the air. "She's enjoying it, is she? I will find the creature that taught my daughter this arsenal of pee jokes and blast him to pieces!" He raised his trident and blasted gallons of little bubbles into the air, pretending to be engaged in battle. Rhode laughed as he made the bubbles blast in his face. "Oh, so you won't stop laughing, then?" he laughed, pointing his trident down on top of her head. "Then I have no choice but to punish you with bubble torture until you stop!"

"Father!" Rhode laughed at full volume as she was sprayed with bubbles and tried to block them with her hands.

"Poseidon!" Amphitrite laughed, trying to shield herself from them with no success. Poseidon chuckled as he withdrew his trident and the bubbles died down, sitting back on the couch.

"Percy, when you're feeling better, I'll teach you that little trick." He said, putting his arm around his shoulder in a fatherly way, a twinkle in his eye. "It works wonders on the ladies."

"Poseidon!" Amphitrite exclaimed, but before she could continue, Rhode stood up and placed herself in front of Percy, bubbles still sticking to her hair.

"Hey, Percy..? You're right… Helios wouldn't want me to cry over him, and he'd want me to be happy." She began, smiling softly. Something told Percy that even if she moved on, she would still be a shy goddess of the sea. "I remember… one day… when we just married, he told me we could take things as slowly as I wanted… because he said he'd die if he did anything to hurt me so he could keep me safe… And I'm crying because he hurt me, and he's really gone… or because I hurt myself… But he's not dead as long as I remember him and smile when I think of him. Helios never wanted me to cry because of him, and so I won't. I'll… I'll make us both happy!"

"Excuse me?!" Everyone turned to the door, where Triton stood in awe at the scene with a stupid look on his face. He was holding a large, thin box in his hands that he was trying not to drop to the floor when he heard what he thought was his sister marrying into the Jackson line. "What are you doing to my baby sister, huh?!" he yelled, dropping the game on the back of a friendly pufferfish. "What's all this about making him happy, huh, Rhode? You can't seriously be stupid enough to want to sleep with his type, are you? You've really fallen since Helios died, you know that? Picking out mortals for pleasure-"

"Triton." Percy stood from the couch and faced his brother at the door. Triton glared at him so sharply Percy thought his eyes might break in half. "Lay off, alright? Rhode's been through a lot more than you know."

"Oh, really?" Triton scoffed. "And does she know the pain of being bested by a mere mortal in the eyes of my own father? Whatever she still feels for that show-off Helios is a waste of her time, crying over someone who faded and never looked at her before he died-"

"At least you've still got a chance to get what you lost back." Percy snapped, his stomach churning. Please, don't throw up now. That was the last thing he needed now that he was finally feeling better, but the ball on anger in his gut didn't help calm matters much. "And so far, you aren't doing a very good job. If you want to protect your little sister that much, the least you can do is try for her sake." Triton looked ready to punch him all the way to Hawaii, which might not be very far considering how Percy had no idea where Poseidon's palace even was. Rhode joined them, her hands shaking as she held the sides of her dress for support.

"And, Triton," she managed, somehow looking him in the eye without crying. Triton fixed his glare at her, though it carried more of a warning and threat. "I wouldn't do anything to Percy. I'm already married to Helios." Triton's glare became more intense as he tried to frighten his sister away, which worked swiftly, sending Rhode running back to the arms of her mother.

"I think that is quite enough of your fighting for now." Poseidon said, stepping between Percy and Triton. "Really, Triton, I'm struggling to understand why you take all of this mess out on Percy instead of me. If you used your head, you should have been able to tell that this is my fault." Triton's mouth remained shut, embarrassed, as Poseidon led Percy back to the couch.

"Well, what should we do now..?" Amphitrite asked, rubbing Rhode's back for support. "It's been a while since we had this many people all together, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, Triton, why'd you come in here?" Percy asked. "And what was in that box?" Triton seemed to regain his arrogance and sense of self as he remembered his intentions for that evening.

"Oh, this?" he asked, taking the box from the back of the pufferfish who was collapsing under its weight. "Well, I thought about what Rhode said, and she has a point. It's a lot more fun to beat the crap out of someone when neither of you has the advantage from the start." He set the box on the coffee table and opened it. Inside, there was a board, dice, a bunch of little cards held together by elastics and bags full of different color sea dollars.

"And… you intend to prove you're the better son of Poseidon by playing me in a board game?" Percy asked. "That's not equal ground; that's pure luck of what you role." Triton shook his head, smirking menacingly.

"Not the way history did it." he said, flipping open the board; Monopoly. Percy's least favorite game. "Basically, we're all going to be communists until one of us goes bankrupt!"

"Oh, are we playing Communist Monopoly?" Poseidon asked, seating himself forward on the couch. Percy furrowed his brow. Were the deities of the sea all old members of the SSR?

"Poseidon, I'm going to destroy you for buying that sea lion before I did in the last game!" Amphitrite exclaimed, helping her husband set up the game. "Rhode, get some extra chairs so we can all sit in a circle around the table!" Rhode nodded.

"So… how do you play Communist Monopoly?" Percy asked.

"It's quite simple." Amphitrite began. "Whenever someone loses money, like buys a propriety or has to pay rent for another's, everyone pays the same amount to the bank and we put it in Free Parking! The only time you independently get money is when you draw a card or land on Free Parking, and when you pass Go, we all get 200 Sea Dollars. Oh, and this game is fish themed, so try and keep up."

"I would leave if I were you, Percy…" Rhode began, bringing chairs and hugging a jellyfish as she sat down. "My parents… get a little crazy during board games…"

"Clam it, Rhode!" Triton exclaimed, throwing a bag full of Sea Dollars at her. "You're playing, too! It only works well with a lot of people! The game ends when someone cannot pay what is asked of them! We'll see who the better son of Poseidon is based on who has the most money to survive the brutality of Communism!" Percy wished Annabeth was here. He was certain that Communism did not work at all like Triton was describing, and if she was here, she would have shut him up and pointed out every little flaw imaginable. Percy could only point out a couple, like how the game was still luck based, it wouldn't prove anything unless it was just the two of them playing and it would be over in a matter of turns, and caught himself off guard thinking like Annabeth. He still needed to I.M her, sooner rather than later to avoid another reaction like that after his disappearance. Gods, he didn't want her on his bad side while a plague was inches away from sweeping the camp.

On the table in front of him, the game had begun, though he really didn't have the energy to play, his head still feeling a little off from the several naps he had taken. His stomach growled, wanting the snack he had left his room for and wound up playing Monopoly. He dozed off a little in his seat and didn't wake until he found himself resting against Poseidon's arm as he sat him back up in his seat The next thing he remembered was a cup of nectar being held to his mouth, followed immediately by his stomach jumping out of his, his body lunging forward, Triton raising the board of the game, Poseidon shielding his wife, Rhode defending herself with her favorite big jellyfish and Poseidon's servant Delphin, who he hadn't noticed enter the room, being sprayed with whatever grew from the medication he had taken earlier. Percy fell back in his chair, coughing up the puke that had decided to stick to his throat and float off politely into the water.

"My Lord," Delphin began, addressing Poseidon from the side as he wiped the Percy off his face. "I would advise Gravol and ginger ale for Master Jackson." He was in a human-like form, if you counted the dolphin fin that stuck out from the stop of his head, the same color as his blue hair, wearing a dark blue suit jacket with long tails.

"Will do." Poseidon replied, handing Delphin the tray he had brought their drinks on when called. Percy was still in a daze, staring at the chunk of sausage that had survived since breakfast stuck to the game board. He laughed a little inside imagining Annabeth's reaction when he told her he had thrown up all over Communism.

"Master Jackson."

"Yeah?" he replied, dazed.

"I hope you at least feel more cleared up by now." Percy looked up at Delphin, who was snapping his fingers for a vacuum sting ray.

"I guess I do. Sorry for that." Delphin made something that looked like a smile, but was probably just his body trying to keep him from ripping Percy apart with his dolphin teeth like a salmon.

"No worries; if it has helped out guest feel more… himself, I am honored to help. I have been Lord Poseidon's servant and substitute baby-sitter for… roughly 3000 years. I have seen worse from the spontaneous bowel disasters of Lord Triton when he discovered shrimp and stubborn digestion of Lady Rhode during her nursing. All in a day's work, I suppose."

"I still feel bad about… you know… vomiting on you." Percy replied as Delphin swept rather elegantly from the room despite being dripping with vomit. Triton obliterated the Monopoly board, sending the fresh scent of burning vomit into the water and inspiring him to craft a new perfume.

"Well, thanks for ruining our game, Purse-Man." He grumbled. "Anyone have a better way to prove I'm the better son without beating him up? My arms are still tired from destroying sea monsters, but I could still kill Percy if my arms were cut off-"

"Now, Triton, sea monsters are our friends. Until they ruin your garden." Amphitrite said. "Rho, honey, do you have any ideas?"

"We could play… Cards Against Immortality…" she said, softly, as if terrified of suggesting it.

"Is that, like, Card Against Humanity, but with Greek Gods?" Poseidon narrowed his eyes and nodded mischievously.

"You should have seen it. Last time, Amphitrite had the best match with _The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in: Mother Rhea breast feeding baby Zeus in front of five thousand nymphs_ , though I thought my _I am Zeus, god of: Zeus' sexual appetites_ was pretty good." He laughed. "Triton, what was yours that you won with _Horrifying laser hair removal accidents_?"

" _Every Christmas, Hephaestus gets drunk and tells the story of:_ " Triton replied, bursting out laughing.

"Umm… I liked the one I had last time…" Rhode said, trying to hide her laughter so she would be polite to however she was about to offend. "It was… _I am Hades, Greek god of: Demeter's bras._ "

"So, Percy, would you like to play?" Amphitrite asked. "It's a lot easier on the mind and good for the soul than repeating the horrible acts of Communism!"

"But… aren't you a little… I dunno… Lady Amphitrite, you don't seem like the type who would let me, let alone your own children, play a game like this." Amphitrite smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh, honey, it's after 10, and since you kids stay up too late for Poseidon and I to have any fun, we'd better just play it anyway."

Percy regretted his decision, sending him to bed with thoughts of _During the birth of Ares, the only thing on Hera's mind was: Peeing a little bit_.

* * *

 **And another chapter has come to an end!**

 **I want to say that it has been a lot of fun and challenging to write Rhode, and writing her development bits made me cry, but I'm quite emotional! Let me know in the reviews what you thought! If you guys want to see anymore of anyone, too, let me know! I really don't want Percy's section to finish because I'm going to miss the Poseidon family, but after them we get the Royal Pains of Olympus, so it'll be interesting none the less!**

 **Anywho... Two more Percy chapters, and here's the next preview!**

 _ **"What are you doing in my bed?"**_

 _ **"Your what..?"**_

 _ **"My bed, you idiot! Seriously? Don't you know who I am?"**_

 _ **"Percy, I was wondering if you wanted to... Mother! Mother! Kymopoleia's home!"**_


	4. Kymopoleia cries like a baby

**Whahoo you guys so I'm already on the fourth chapter and I've got to say that while balancing this story and _Olympus Got Talent!_ , I can see which I prefer more in terms of writing and in terms of comedy, but I still love them both! _Olympus Got Talent_ _!_ will be updating soon, hopefully by late today!**

 **I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed and favorited this story and Owlion12! It's really an honor to receive four emails telling you the same person did all of those things, and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart!**

 **This chapter is another little development chapter, but I'm leaving it open to interpretation. There is no little ribbon tied at the end or no telling what happens next, but I hope you all enjoy it! It was challenging writing Kymopoleia's dialogue, but in the end, I was satisfied with the relationship I created between her and her family and her internal struggle with what she must do to be strong contradicting what she knows is right** **. Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter!**

 **One more chapter to go with Percy, and then the Graces are graced with a little bug! If you guys have any ideas for any of the demigods, I'd be happy to work them into a chapter and credit you! Without further ado, the chapter!**

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **I'm still running out of disclaimers, but Maple Candy tastes like a bitch. American candy doesn't. Therefore, I am not Rick Riordan.**

* * *

Percy hadn't been visited by one of his crazy prophetic dreams in, well, a while. Ever since Gaea's defeat, his dreams had been constructed of things so odd and messed up that he knew they couldn't possibly be from the gods, unless he was bound to whack children over the heads with laptops while they received a tour of a shopping mall and have the ten year-old version of Nico squeezing his knee as he sat on his lap to complete another Great Prophecy. He had only woken once, maybe a little past midnight, when he heard the waves roar and push against the walls of the palace, letting plenty of little fish friends come in to his room for shelter against the strong current. It only occurred to Percy now that the fish might be vulnerable to his Olympian Sniffles and would pass it on to the poor mortals who decided to eat beluga, axolotl and the tiny jelly fish that Poseidon probably needed to see pest control about, since they were everywhere in the palace and very large and cute in numbers. Percy dropped this thought quickly and went back to sleep.

In his dream, he was standing in a dark room on the opposite side of a large bed similar to his own in Poseidon's palace, but it was more elegant with thin white drapes pulled away from the sides, floating up and down in the water. A window was open on the other side of the room leading to a patio, which had similar white curtains on its doors. The room was full of the big, luminescent jelly fish and many tiny ones, lighting the woman sitting upright in the bed with a soft golden glow. Percy almost didn't recognize Amphitrite; her black hair was messy and looked wet for the first time, her eyes tired and her complexion pale. In her arms, she cradled a bundle of blankets, which she gazed at with affection despite her exhaustion.

A door on the opposite side of the room from him opened quietly. Poseidon stood in ancient robes, looking the more like the ancient statues than he ever had to Percy with his trident in hand proudly. The only turn off was with little girl with short, turquoise hair in a white dress he held in one arm. Rhode had her arms wrapped around his neck and her head buried in his shoulder, peeking out every so often as they entered the room. Triton followed behind them in a small tunic, sulking a little in the shadow of his father; he couldn't have been any older than six or seven. As they neared the bed, Amphitrite smiled up at them and held a hand out to Rhode.

"Rhode." She began, softly. "You don't need to be shy, honey."

"Go see your new baby sister." Poseidon said, placing his daughter on the sheets beside her mother. Rhode hesitated to look at Amphitrite, though a small smile was on her lips.

"Mama…" she began, crawling beside her mother. "I… I don't want to stop being your baby… because now you have a new baby…"

"Rhode, you'll always be my baby. You can be my babies together." Amphitrite smiled, pulling Rhode close to her. "Look, this is Kymopoleia, and she's your little sister, so you've got to help Mama look after her, alright?" Rhode nodded and smiled, blushing as she hugged her mother back and stared into the blankets.

"Is she cute, Rhode?" Poseidon asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Rhode nodded as Amphitrite let her pat Kymopoleia's head. "She's just as cute as you were when you were born, but you were so small that we could have lost you inside your blankets!" Rhode's cheeks paled as she looked up at her father.

"Really?" she asked, horrified, tears swelling in her eyes. Poseidon looked surprised, then unsure of what to do.

"Well, not that small, I mean, you were still tiny, but-"

"Papa's only joking, baby." Amphitrite said, pulling Rhode back into their hug. "We would never lose you, ever, no matter how small you are."

"Triton? What are you doing over there? Come see your mother and sister!" Poseidon called, half chuckling at his son, who sat in the corner of the room curled in a little ball.

"I wanted a brother…" her grumbled. "Rhode didn't even want a sister, so how come she gets one and I don't get a brother? I'm the oldest, so I should-"

"Triton, watch what you say." Amphitrite said, a tone of motherly warning in her voice as he reluctantly joined them at the bed.

"But girls can't do anything!" Triton whined. "They can't fight or play sports or use swords or go jumping off the big rock naked and they cry all the time and are weird and jealous like Auntie Hera-"

"Maybe, if you're good, Triton, someday you'll get a brother." Poseidon replied. Percy almost laughed at the irony. Triton only sulked further, leaning his chest against the bed and staring without interest at the blankets in his mother's arms. Rhode gasped and back away from Kymopoleia, nervously.

"Look, Rhode! She's waking up!" Amphitrite exclaimed, softly, placing her other arm back under the blankets. "Good morning, Kymopoleia. Oh… are you still sleepy?" Rhode scooted to her father and climbed onto his lap as Kymopoleia began to whimper and cry.

"Papa, did I…?" she asked, softly, more tears coming to her eyes as she hid her head in his chest. Poseidon stroked her head and smiled.

"No, you didn't make your sister cry. She's just a little tired and cranky like you when we take naps."

"I'm not cranky… after naps…" Amphitrite rubbed Kymopoleia's chest from above the blankets and pulled her closer.

"There, there… Don't cry, Kymopoleia! Everything's alright, just close your eyes and everything will be- Poseidon, can you help me hold her? She's squirming all over-" Kymopoleia sneezed, interrupting her crying. Poseidon joined his wife and took Kymopoleia into his arms as she sneezed again, looking startled she had caused the noise. "Don't be afraid, baby, everyone sneezes!" Amphitrite cooed, still rubbing her chest as the crying resumed. Rhode hid behind Triton, who snapped at her, telling her not to be afraid of something as stupid as a baby.

"You're right, Amphie…" Poseidon began, keeping a firm hold on his daughter. "She is rather active… or perhaps violent is a better way of-" Kymopoleia sneezed a final time. The palace shook violently, loud rumbling was heard outside the patio doors as a pillar of steam, rocks and lava rose swiftly into the air. Poseidon thrust his trident toward it, slowing the eruption to a stop. Triton and Rhode ran to their father and held his legs, crying, as Amphitrite took Kymopoleia back into her arms, who was still crying. Poseidon and Amphitrite exchanged worried looks as they stared at Kymopoleia, who had managed to wiggle her arms free and reached up for her mother.

"Everything's is alright now, Kymopoleia…" Amphitrite managed, still shaken from the eruption as she helped her daughter rest her head on her shoulder. "Everyone has a little trouble sometimes… sometimes…" Kymopoleia's crying softened as Amphitrite held her, her little arms exploring the skin around her mother's neck, Poseidon taking Rhode into his arms and letting Triton climb onto his lap as he sat on the bed. The dream faded as Delphin ran into the room, Percy's body regaining consciousness with something pulling on either side of his cheeks.

* * *

There was a woman leaning over him, pulling on his cheeks so his face stretched, glaring at him without much clue in her eyes as to what she was glaring about. Percy blinked as he opened his eyes, not saying a thing.

"Kyhmho… Kehm?" he managed, trying to speak without the sides of his mouth. Kymopoleia, now an adult, snapped his cheeks back together. How long had she been holding his cheeks like that?

"Who else would be brave enough to wake you up in the morning?" she asked, snarky. "And, I have a reason to; you're sleeping in my bed."

"I thought this was a guest bedroom. I stayed here during the battle against Kronos, too." Kymopoleia snorted.

"Yeah, well, it's mine, you got that? It was mine until I was sixteen; then I got kicked out." The door to his room opened as Rhode stepped in.

"Good morning! I was wondering if you want to-" she stopped short as her eyes widened and her cheeks paled. She and Kymopoleia exchanged looks. "Ky… Kymopoleia..?" Rhode asked, her hands moving to their signature nervous position on either side of her dress. Kymopoleia looked uninterested as she stepped away from the bed.

"What?" she asked, monotone. Rhode's face soon reddened and tears appeared in the corners of her eyes as she moved her mouth, trying to find an answer. Kymopoleia sighed. "I never understood why you're the big sister, being such a crybaby and all."

"Because you always hurt me! You and Triton always picked on me!" Rhode cried. Percy watched as the once awkward adult conversation turned into a fight between two childish sisters. "You would always steal Father's trident and try and poke me with it, but you always blasted parts of the palace and got in trouble with Triton and-"

"Father? What's with that? The last time I saw you, you were all Papa this and Mama that." Kymopoleia interrupted.

"Hey, let's just calm down a little, alright?" Percy asked, sitting up. His head wasn't spinning, which was a good sign, but he couldn't guarantee he wouldn't puke all over the two goddesses. "What are you doing here?" Kymopoleia cocked her brow.

"Really? I live here, you idiot! You can't blame me for wanting to come back and see my family for once, can you? And after that whole thing with Gaea a few weeks ago, I think I let you go, didn't I? Your little blonde friend promised me some rewards if I was kind, and I still haven't gotten them!" Percy had to work extra hard to resist the temptation to bring his hands to his ears. Kymopoleia's voice wasn't the greatest thing to hear at the beginning of the morning.

"Okay, okay, I can talk to Poseidon and Amphitrite for you." He replied, out of breath. Kymopoleia smirked.

"That's what I like to hear. Now, my dearest elder sister," she began, turning on Rhode, who looked like she was ready to cry. "Would you go get our loving parents and announce my return?"

"Actually… they're waiting for Percy and I in the breakfast hall… but there's plenty to go around!" Rhode managed, trying not to be blasted to pieces, or at least not punched in the face. Kymopoleia smiled.

"Good. I have some very important matters I wish to discuss with them, and I haven't had quality food in a while; living in the Bronx of the ocean isn't an easy lifestyle, you know."

"Here, I'll show you-"

"Oh, no need, dearest sister. I'm certain the palace, along with the feelings of my parents, hasn't changed since I left." Rhode glanced nervously at Percy for support as they followed closely behind Kymopoleia. He reached out and gave her hand a squeeze against the skirt of her dress. Rhode nodded and smiled, trying to be a little braver. "So, Rhode," Kymopoleia began, falling back a pace to be beside her sister. "How are you and Helios doing?" Rhode's eyes fell to the ground.

"Oh… He faded, during the Roman Empire." Kymopoleia pursed her lips and put an arm around her sister.

"Oh, I'm sorry for asking. You're wearing that ring you wouldn't stop blushing about that he gave you, so I figured-"

"It's alright; at least you aren't using it as a new way to make me cry. I've… talked about it lately and I feel better now. And I heard you married Briares?" Kymopoleia's footsteps grew a little louder as she removed her arm.

"Well, yes, I suppose I am married." She began, sounding casually agitated. "Not happily, though. Of all the people our parents could have chosen, Rhode having ended up with the Titan of the sun, Triton remaining perfectly single and able to run off and do as he pleases, Kymopoleia being stuck with someone big and loud and explosive like herself, which is an insult to me as I never meant to do anything… I couldn't control the things I did…" She grumbled some inaudible words under her breath, her arms crossed as she half pouted, half vented her frustration.

"I'm sorry for asking, too…" Rhode managed, moving her hand to her sister's back to comfort her. She pushed it away as soon as she felt her sister's hand make contact.

"I don't want your pity or relationship advice." Kymopoleia snapped, placing her hand on the doors that led into the breakfast hall. "Do not speak a word of this conversation, either of you. I have stolen Poseidon's trident once, and I am surely capable of doing it again." Rhode retreaded her hands to her dress, avoiding her younger sister's glare that carried on meeting Percy's eyes, who left the conversation at that. Kymopoleia exhaled as she pushed open the doors.

Triton, Poseidon and Amphitrite were arguing over something quickly in Greek, Triton yelling louder than his parents. All of them seemed to be fighting about the large hole in the table; the seat where Percy had sat the previous morning now blasted to pieces and a large square cut into the table where the chair should have been. Percy figured Triton's reasoning was some kind of parenting technique to show equality, or he was getting in touch with his inner Communist after last night's game, until he noticed Amphitrite holding her trident in one hand, which was still smoking at the tips, similar to the blast in the table.

The three of them looked up from their conversation as they heard the doors open. At first, Poseidon and Amphitrite tried to regain their calm composure, Triton still acting like a child and sitting angrily in his new seat across from Rhode's previous spot.

"Good morning, Percy, Rhode, K-" Poseidon stopped in his tracks, his brow furrowing as Kymopoleia entered the room. Amphitrite did a better job covering her expression, half a scowl, half surprised horror. Triton, on the other hand, was a fan of expressing himself no matter the situation.

"What are you doing here?!" he yelled, slamming his fists on the table, more angry than surprised or shocked. Apparently, he and Percy shared the same blood line after all. "I thought you were dead and banished!" Kymopoleia sighed.

"Brother, you never learnt anything from time-outs, did you?" she asked, a hint of pity in her voice as her expression shifted. She looked almost ashamed as she walked further into the room, Poseidon and Amphitrite standing to meet her.

"Ky… Kymopoleia…" Amphitrite managed, somehow finding a way to smile as she took her daughter's hands. "You… You've grown." Percy was glad Kymopoleia had shrunken herself from the twenty foot tall form he had last seen her in, otherwise she would have had a tantrum that would blow the palace from the sea. She only nodded, avoiding her mother's eyes.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it..?" she managed. Poseidon hit the base of his trident against the floor, catching both their attention.

"Kymopoleia, why have you come here?" he began, sternly. "You may be our daughter, but as a subject under my rule, I cannot simply allow those banished to return without-"

"I came to apologize, okay?!" Kymopoleia yelled angrily, stomping her foot, causing a small cracks to appear in the tiled floor. "Don't make me listen to any of that stuff about law and order when I've come here trying to do what I should I have done a long time ago…" She stepped away from the cracks, only making more as she stepped back gently. "I came here to say I'm sorry for being so clumsy and uncontrollable and… Just for being myself." Amphitrite reached out for her, but Kymopoleia only backed further away. "I can't control my strength… I don't even know what my limits are. When I was banished… when I was too destructive against my own will… I feared myself more than what lied beyond the gates of Poseidon's kingdom. What would I destroy next? A living being? A country? I was never afraid of volcanoes or dark trenches, only of what I might do to trap myself inside. All I wanted was to be feared by others because I knew the power it had over a person. All I wanted was to be powerful so I wouldn't be afraid of myself, but… When I realized how much destruction I caused… I…" The current around them began to speed up. "I couldn't stop!" Kymopoleia yelled, shamefully. "And the worst part is, I'm not sorry! I know I should be but I'm not! I want to be but I can't! It's what keeps me standing and able to keep going… it's what keeps me from fading and gives me a sense of control over my abilities. That's why I'm sorry for being the person I am! I'll leave now; I know you want me to, and I want to before I destroy part of the palace again-"

"Kymopoleia, that's enough, baby." Amphitrite said, pulling her daughter into a hug. "We should be the ones apologizing, leaving you out there on your own like that. But, we can talk about that once you're feeling better."

"And how do you expect that to happen?" Kymopoleia asked, tensely. "You want me to cry it all out or something stupid like that?"

"Clichés worked wonders on your sister." Amphitrite replied, letting her trident evaporate into the air. "And, you're still my baby, Kymopoleia." They exchanged eye contact for a long time, Kymopoleia looking unsure of what to do and shocked by the response of her mother, who smiled at her. "I'm not going to let you destroy anything." She finished, pulling her in closer as Kymopoleia began crying. Which is an understatement, since a huge volcano erupted outside their window.

* * *

"She always used to put on little shows like that." Triton began, stabbing his bacon with his fork, using the pinnacle of bad table manners now that his mother had taken Kymopoleia into another room as they sorted things out. "She always put on this tough guy routine around us, but as soon as she found one of our parents, it was all just sucking up and sobbing so they paid attention to her-"

"I think she's telling the truth…" Rhode began, setting down her fork. "I'd be scared, too, if I was out there alone for so long…" Percy wasn't sure what to believe. He knew Kymopoleia had done nothing wrong; from what she had said, she wasn't able to control her powers and it led to her causing so much destruction.

"It technically wasn't her fault." Percy began. He had barely touched his plate in fear that his stomach might erupt. "If she couldn't control her power, that means she didn't mean any harm, so why-"

"Because we didn't know." Poseidon answered, not looking away from his plate. "Like Triton said, Kymopoleia always came off as an attention seeker. Anyone with a younger sibling can understand, and I speak from experience. A few times, Amphitrite and I either caught her attitude before she noticed us or Rhode came and told us afterwards. To us, her destruction was caused so she could cause a scare, catch our attention and send us running to aid and comfort her. She used to take my trident and case her siblings with it or leave rocks in their beds or lock all the night jellyfish lights in one room so we couldn't see that night. We thought that banishing her was a punishment where she would truly learn from, but it appears we were wrong. Whatever fear Kymopoleia had, we never heard a word of it."

"But that tough attitude she put on around us?" Percy asked. Poseidon sighed.

"Amphitrite does the same thing before she either gets mad at me or vents about something I did." He explained, taking a fork full of pancakes and jamming it in his mouth.

"Maybe it's just some lady thing." Triton added, fitting a whole sausage patty in his mouth. Rhode and Percy exchanged unsure looks. What was the truth and what was a lie? He wanted to ask Poseidon what he was going to do next, but his answer probably depended on what came from the talk between his wife and daughter. Acting tough and bluffing was one way to escape fear, Percy knew that much. It was a way to create the illusion that no weakness existed to scare others away. But in the end, didn't that show fear, too?

Kymopoleia and Amphitrite entered the room shortly after, a blanket draped across Kymopoleia's shoulders and Amphitrite's arm around her waist. She avoided their glances as they entered, Amphitrite leading them to Poseidon's seat.

"Father… I am sorry… I really am. I'm sorry for not voicing how I felt properly and causing so much trouble. I'm sorry I don't feel any regret toward my actions." She managed. Poseidon rose from his seat and did something his children who watched weren't expecting. He hugged Kymopoleia and tightened the blanket around her shoulders.

"I accept your apology, and I hope you will accept ours. I'm not asking you to forgive us, Kymopoleia. The decision I made to banish you was incorrect and cruel, and I am not criticizing you for keeping the truth to yourself. If anything, you were very strong, and I am proud of you coming back without ill intent toward you mother and I."

"At least not on the outside…" she managed as Poseidon pulled away from their hug. "I can't deny that I'm angry at you. Anyone would be. But I'm angry at myself. Things wouldn't have ended like this if I had told you back when I was little about how scared I was-"

"Don't blame yourself, baby. We're sorry, you're sorry, and now, it's all over." Amphitrite said, stepping up to join them. "We're going to fix your fear the way we should have long ago, but you have to tell us when something is wrong and when you need us. Your father may be the king of the ocean, but he certainly is no mind reader." She scowled at Poseidon. "I had to tell him to go away before he deducted that running away while you're being chased means you don't want to have a relationship."

"I… I thought you were playing with me…" Poseidon stammered, trying to defend himself. Kymopoleia smiled and chuckled. Poseidon sighed. He knew he wasn't getting away from his wife. "We won't let that ill will come to be. We can fix this, one step at a time, and it begins with breakfast." He waved his hand and another chair appeared beside Rhode, a plate, cup and utensils setting themselves up on the table across from Percy.

"Thank you, Father." Kymopoleia said, seating herself. Rhode looked like she wanted to back away, but stayed where she was and managed to smile at her sister.

"Welcome back, Kymopoleia." She said, shyly. Kymopoleia seemed the have the same expression.

"Yeah… Thanks." They began eating again in silence. For Poseidon's first step of repairing their relationship with his daughter, it was pretty awkward. Eventually, he realized this, too, cleared his throat and looked away from his bacon.

"So, Percy, Kymopoleia, I hear you two know each other." Percy nearly spit out his food. He hadn't expected to be drawn into the conversation.

"Uh… yeah…" he managed after forcing himself to swallow his bacon. "She… tried to kill Jason and I… sort of…"

"I only poisoned you. Your friend… That blonde son of Zeus, or Jupiter or whatever, was fine." Kymopoleia responded.

"But you didn't kill either of them, which is good." Amphitrite added.

"And I still haven't received the things I was promised by your friend." She added, glaring at Percy. Oh great, she was going to bring that up here or all places. "Though, now that I'm home, I guess it doesn't matter. I'm leaving that all behind me now, anyway, so looking at it would only make me-"

"Now, come on, Kymopoleia! Tell us what he offered you and we'll make it happen." Poseidon said, leaning forward on the table. Amphitrite scowled at his elbow on the table. Kymopoleia paled, dropping her sophisticated expression, her face reddening the same way Rhode's had done before, embarrassed.

"Well..." she began, fidgeting with her hands on her lap. "He told me he would build a Greek and Roman shrine for me… and a cabin at Camp Half-Blood, even though I have no demigod children or anything."

"I'm certain I can arrange those." Poseidon replied, leaning back in his chair once he noticed Amphitrite's glare. "Anything else you were promised or need?" Kymopoleia opened her mouth to speak, but shut it quickly. Percy furrowed his brow and spoke up.

"I thought Jason said something about an action figure." Instantly, Triton, Poseidon and Rhode began to crack up, trying to hold in their laughter as Amphitrite stared at her plate, her lip trembling. Kymopoleia turned twice as red as Rhode usually did, glaring at Percy with murderous intent.

"Yeah…" she stammered. "There… might have been something like that…" The rest of the table burst out laughing.

"Of all the stupid things he could have promised her?" Poseidon laughed, banging his hand on the table. "Whoa, those children of Zeus, am I right?"

"Kymopoleia, what are you? Some kind of little kid or something?" Triton exclaimed, dropping his fork to the floor. "Do you really still play with dolls?"

"Now, Triton, I think it's cute." Amphitrite cautioned, looking over at Kymopoleia across from Rhode, who was laughing quietly. "And remember when that mortal movie about the little mermaid came out and you wouldn't stop talking about how Triton was the king of Atlantis?" Triton stopped in his tracks as Kymopoleia and Percy started laughing.

"What? How could I not be excited?!" Triton yelled, his face turning red. Poseidon's family had a habit of doing so. "I got to be the king of an entire race of people where the women only wear sea shell bikinis! Sea shells! Do you know how easily those things break?" The laughter stopped as his parents regained their posture.

"Triton, you took that too far. You ruined it." Poseidon coughed. Triton huffed something under his breath and began picking at his sausages with his knife. "Kymopoleia, would you still like that cabin and those shrines?" Kymopoleia nodded, retreating back into her lap.

"Someone's acting just like her big sister!" Amphitrite cooed, taking a sip of her drink as her daughters both yelled against her claim. "And what about that action figure, baby?"

"Stop calling me that… I'm not a baby anymore…"

"Then, I guess you don't want-"

"No, I want the action figure!" Kymopoleia whined. "Remember you said that I'm still your baby, right?" Amphitrite smirked and took another sip of her drink before standing from the table.

"Alright, I'll go call Hephaestus and order the second oddest thing I have ever done."

"What was the first?" Percy asked. He regretted it once Amphitrite looked at him and smiled.

"A smaller colonoscope tube for Poseidon. Oh, Athena had a field day last time he had a colonoscopy." They remained silent as she left the room, Poseidon, glancing away awkwardly as everyone but Kymopoleia thought for a moment before they continued eating.

"Umm…" she began once she had swallowed an unlady-like mouthful of the best food she'd had in centuries. "What's a colonoscopy?"

"Remember when you were a little girl and Delphin had to give me some medicine that made me feel sick and act stupid?" Poseidon asked. Kymopoleia nodded.

"I heard you moaning and saw you on a table with Delphin and Mother holding… Oh gods…" Her face paled as she swallowed the last bit of her food with difficulty. Poseidon nodded pitifully at his daughter when they made eye contact. Kymopoleia began to cry softly and leapt from her seat, running up to Poseidon and hugging around his neck.

"I know, baby, I know…" he said, patting her back. "At least you weren't the one doing it."

* * *

 **Le me explain the joke about Maple Candy. During a PM, I asked the other party what their favorite kind of American candy was. Even though we have pretty much the same things, you guys have Milk Duds and Whoopers. We don't. So I said Maple Candy and began to talk about how it was a bit too sweet, but what I ended up typing and sending was "A Bitch Too Sweet" so now I can't eat it without thinking about... ecetera...**

 **If you guys thought typing Hephaestus was a pain, try typing Kymopoleia a bunch of times. Ow! What's with those Greeks and their hard to pronounce and spell gods? Thank the gods other religions made it easier... EGYPTIANS AND NORSE I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU HOW DO YOU SAY NEPHTHYS AND SIGYN?!**

 **I hope you enjoyed that chapter! As I said before, I left the ending involving Kymopoleia's feelings and how she really feels unresolved because not even I really know how to end it or how she would feel. Then again, something like that would unfold and show itself over tie, which Percy doesn't have because his turn with the Sniffles has almost passed!**

 **Please review what you thought! And now, in the next chapter...**

 _ **"This is how your mother and I met, fell in love and saved the**_ **world."**


	5. Bedtime with Poseidon

**One chapter, one hour and a half!**

 **This comcludes Percy's saga in _Olympian Sniffles_... and I sniffle a little myself because of it! Anyone who has read our other fanfics knows that I am more of the type who enjoys humor involving the gods, but being able to write from a demigod's point of view and have them interacting has proven to be a challenge for me to write and one that I will continue in the future with the rest of the victims! Even though I don't want to leave the Poseidon Family behind, (RHODE NO!) I can't wait to write Jason and Thalia's epic adventures with Zeusie and Hera. I hope you all enjoy bratty five year-old goddesses of youth! Mwahahahaha!**

 **Again, thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed, favorited and all that jazz! Now, on to the disclaimer, and I still need to get around to a list...**

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **America runs on Dunkin'. Canada is Always Fresh, Always Tim Hortons. I think that says it... so... I'm Canadian, Rick isn't. Make the connection.**

* * *

Percy and Rhode were walking through the back gardens of the palace when Poseidon joined them, looking at all the tropical flowers and plants that somehow grew under the pressure of the ocean, though Percy let it slide, given how Persephone was able to produce her own garden in the Underworld. The garden, from what Rhode had told him, had almost been completely destroyed during the battle against Oceanus, when Rhode was hiding to avoid the fight. It acted as a home to some of the smaller fish and tiny jellyfish that Percy was almost sick of seeing, living in little caves inside rocks where flowers and plants grew. Percy was able to recognize the flowers Rhode wore in her hair in the garden, millions of brightly colored lilies and dawn flowers, gingers that waved in the water as fish swam by in large schools. The large luminescent jellyfish lit the flowers and marble walkways as they passed, Rhode pointing out each group and rock apartment, each statue of fish or monster, every little detail that she loved about her mother's garden. They stood at the base of a gazebo built with Greek pillars and covered in flowers, inside was a small table and bench over which many colorful fish swam over and around.

"Rhode?" Poseidon asked, surprising both of them. Rhode spun around so quickly she almost dropped the bouquet of flowers she had gathered in her arms, scattering the little jellyfish that had collected on her head again, since she moved so slowly and carefully in the garden. He laughed softly at her surprised expression. "Your mother wishes to speak with you."

"Yes, Father!" Rhode replied, beginning to move until she remembered the flowers she was holding. "Umm… I…" Poseidon reached his arms under hers and took the bouquet.

"I'll look after these for you, Rho." He said. Rhode smiled and nodded before running off back to the palace, a trail of jellyfish falling from her head and shoulders behind her. "You should head inside as well, Percy." Poseidon added. "It's late… and you'll be heading home tomorrow."

"Yeah. Thanks for everything, Dad." Percy replied as they headed inside. Poseidon sighed and stared at the flowers he held in his arms.

"I'm sorry it had to be such a dramatic visit. First Rhode, then Triton and now Kymopoleia… You'll have to come here sometime for a vacation to make up for it, and bring that Athena girl with you."

"Bring Annabeth underwater?" Percy remarked. "Athena would kill us all."

"Athena doesn't know how to swim." Poseidon replied, laughing. "Not only that, but she'd have to get past Kymopoleia and Triton. You know, we had to ask Hera for tips about raising them since they were both so similar to Ares, only one didn't have to try to be violent."

"I guess one of the good things about having strong kids is they're able to fight for you when needed." Percy said. "Hey, Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I… I was just wondering… well, it's a question I've had since I came to Camp Half-Blood, but-"

"Just let it out, boy! I'm your father, not Zeus! Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll be able to answer!"

"What happens when two demigods have a kid?" Poseidon was quiet.

"Well." He began, clearing his throat. "I'm not an expert; this is more a question for Zeus or Aphrodite, since their children tended to breed most within the camp back before the vow, but from what I understand, that child also inherits powers from their parents. Let's say… Children's appearances depend on their parents and relatives, so a boy would generally look more like his father while a girl would look more like her mother. The same thing can also be applied with demigod powers. Let's say… A child of Athena and a child of Apollo got it on and had a kid. The powers that child has depend mostly on which parent their gender matches. In some cases, the two blend evenly together, and others aren't visible at all. Some are born powerless. There is a special case; if one demigod is far more powerful than the other, then often the gender matching doesn't matter. It can also rely on the more dominant power in their genes. The same would apply if a demigod and god had a child; depending on their strength and abilities, gender matching could apply, but if you had a child with, say, one of the Big Three, then the mortal parent's genes might not matter unless they were also a child of the Big Three. Now, I'm not talking from experience." Poseidon managed. "I don't really remember any mixing, since most gods try to avoid it, but generally speaking, if you had children with a mortal or another demigod, they would most likely share your powers."

"I never really thought about it that way…" Percy said, some of what Poseidon had explained flying in one ear and out the other. They reached Percy's room, Poseidon following him inside.

"I'm going to borrow this." He said, taking a glass of water from his bedside table and putting some of the flowers into it. "It's a shame there isn't a vase in here…"

"Hey, Dad… just another question, but…" Percy took a deep breath and avoided his father's glance as they sat beside each other on the bed. "Are any of your demigod children from… before the oath… are they still alive?" All they heard was the water flowing between them. Poseidon's expression grew tired as he stared at a flower that had escaped into the current, flowing in the water.

"Two." He replied, solemnly. "One is in Britain, the other in Canada; one girl, one boy. The hardest part is… I don't think they know about one another, or about you."

"Oh." They sat in further silence. "I'm sorry for asking, Dad-"

"No, it's alright, Percy. For a while… I'd forgotten about them, too. After the oath, I spent time with Amphitrite and my family; I didn't want to involve myself with my children much. Zeus would have grown suspicious of my actions. Then, one day, I turned around and saw that many of them were already gone; lost in battles, gone in illness, too brave to try finding my domain. You matter no more to me than the other two that still live, because I feel like I have to make it up to them in a way. You are all special to me, even my children by Amphitrite, in the same way. Not because you are the hero, not because you are the youngest or my favorite. Because you are all I have left."

"Oh."

"Your mother is just as important to me that way." Poseidon added. "Amphitrite bears no grudge against her, only me, but whatever problems we had have been resolved amongst the two of us. She knew when I was having an affair or seeing another woman; I always told her. When I told her about your mother, she was a little upset, but understood. This was the time when I'd seen what I'd lost, and I feel bad for making her go through it with me, and when you were born, she cared about you, too. It would be our secret; as long as Hades and Zeus never learned, maybe you'd be safe. I tried not to get involved with anyone, like I'd said but… Your mother and I met in a graveyard, of all places. I was there paying respects to one of my sons I had just lost, one of the ones who survived past the oath. She was at the grave of her uncle."

"Uncle Rich." Percy added. "Yeah, she told me."

"We were at opposite ends of the row, and she came over and asked me if I wouldn't mind if she read something aloud to her uncle, and I let her and tried not to listen, but I couldn't help it. It was two years after he had died, and she read a letter of acceptance into a university she planned on attending the following year. Half way through, it began to rain, but I hadn't noticed. I listened to her talk outside the letter, just talk to her uncle about her plans for the future and her life, her goals, how things had changed. When she stopped, I turned to leave and there she was, still standing at his grave, holding a soaked letter in her hands. I took my umbrella and held it out for her and was amazed when she backed away and asked me if I had lost my mind."

"Mom can see-"

"Through the Mist." Poseidon joined, finishing the sentence together. "I took her to a little restaurant to calm her down; I guess pulling out a trident disguised as an umbrella isn't the best way to console women crying over the loss of their families." He laughed a little. Percy noticed that during their conversation, he was organising and replacing the flowers in his hands, separating the blue ones from the rest. "We talked and I ended up telling her who I am, and it's not like I could avoid it at that point, either. We talked. She needed help getting back on her feet, and I was happy to help her. One thing led to another, and eventually all those little things we did for one another piled up and became this strange little thing called love. Then, you were born."

"We've kind of talked about it before." Percy said, letting Poseidon take a break from talking. It was getting late, more luminescent jellyfish filling the room to light the darkness. One floated beside Percy and sort of sat beside him on the sheets. "You left when you found out she was pregnant so Zeus wouldn't catch on, or when I was born, wouldn't suspect anything if he had been watching you two and then seen her alone-"

"That's right." Poseidon placed the flowers on top of the jellyfish that floated in front of him. They watched as it floated from the room slowly as to not drop a single flower petal. "And when you were born, I saw you once; once before the prophecy, once before my illegal love life with a mortal saved the world. Sally told me not to come, but I knew deep down she wanted me to, just once. Amphitrite understands women, and the day I went was mostly because she forced me to. And you crapped on me, just like Triton did the first time I held him, and I knew instantly that you really were my son." They laughed as Poseidon put his arm around Percy. "I ruined that heartfelt talk, didn't I?"

"Yeah, just a little." Percy chuckled. "But it feels good to resurface back into a not so depressing life, right? Well, if you know what I mean."

"I do, I do." Poseidon stood from the bed and took the glass of flowers in his hands. "I feel like I should have something big to say to end this conversation; you know, like in books they have that sort of End of Discussion line that ends happily or sweetly or motivates you. I'm afraid I don't, but… I love you, Percy."

"I love you, too, Dad." Poseidon smiled at him.

"Now, get some rest. You haven't thrown up in two days and from the information Chiron has sent, some of the things you've been doing tell me that your illness has passed. We'll take you back to camp tomorrow after lunch, so put up with Triton for a little longer until then, alright?"

"You should ground him." Percy offered, flipping aside the covers of his bed. "Or at least get a muzzle."

"Not even Cerberus has a muzzle large enough for Triton. Trust me; I'm his father and Amphitrite and Zeus like to point out when I kill the mood with my big mouth. If there's anything you need, just ask me. And this is the last time you will use your father as your slave." Poseidon warned playfully as he opened the door. Percy thought.

"Actually, Dad? There's something… only you can do."

A pillar of blue light shot up gently from the Empire State Building, and a second from the hearth in the center of the mess hall at Camp Half-Blood. Though Annabeth looked confused for a moment, Sally Jackson was finally able to drop her shoulders and stop looking nervously at the medicine cabinet for the first time that week.

Percy was alright.

* * *

 **I actually didn't know how to end this chapter, but I thought the blue light thing would be sweet and probably made Aphrodite freak out because she messed up her eye liner when the lighting changed.**

 **I'm not 100% sure how Poseidon and Sally met. I could have put them on Montauk, but it seemed a little plain to me and all I could find on the wiki was that she could see through the Mist, so there you go! Not only that, but Percy couldn't have been conceived on Montauk in the summer because the math of pregancy doesn't add up. I think only Hera can produce kids within a month or two!**

 **Thanks a ton for reading and this concludes Percy's part of the story! My heart is crying because I'm already starting to miss Rhode and Kymopoleia... but mostly Rhode... But Jason and Thalia will have more comedy and more family drama to come!**

 **Please review any thoughts and ideas you have! I'm always happy to hear them as I work towards the next chapter! Speaking of that...**

 _ **"Percy! I heard you got really sick and had to spend a few days under water!"**_

 _ **"Hey, Thalia... Yeah, I guess I kinda- What are you doing?"**_

 _ **"Hugging you., weirdo. I haven't seen you in a while and I thought that in our day and age hugs made people- Hey, Jason! What are you doing here?"**_

 _ **"Making sure Camp Half-Blood is safe. Reyna's all worried about-"**_

 _ **"Guys stop touching each other!"**_

 _ **"Why?"**_


	6. The Amazing Graces lose their Grace

**Sorry in advance for the later update!**

 **A ton of stuff happened last week and the week before and I was either lazy or typing something else, but finally, here we are again! We're about to saunter into the lives of Thalia and Jason, and I hope I can make their stay with their... interesting family just as enjoyable as Percy's stay with Poseidon!**

 **Credit goes to icecream401 for providing me with another name! (Also part of the reason I didn't get to publishing this sooner but in a very good, fruit, wheat and harvest filled way!) I'll try to have another chapter up soon... but it depends on when I get the new _Greek Heroes_ book! It's out, but I still don't have it!**

 **Oh, and now I have some kind of mini not really a cold, so the Sniffles just got real even though no one will be sniffling until Nico and Bianca's stay.**

 **Alright... enough of me talking! Remember to favorite, follow and review please!**

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **Only Canadians would catch a cold in August. Therefore... I am not Rick Riordan!**

* * *

Percy came back to camp in the most Poseidon way possible; riding on a chariot with his father and step-mother pulled by horses after Triton came out of the water first, scaring all the campers by the waters of Long Island Sound as he blew his conch and led his father's chariot in a victory lap around the water. When they finally pulled up to the shore, Chiron stood waiting, his arms crossed and tail swishing angrily behind him as he trotted menacingly toward them. Poseidon tried to make peace by extending his arms for a man hug before he descended from the chariot, but was greeted by a cold glare from Chiron. Amphitrite placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'll handle this." She said, sweetly, stepping out of the chariot without help. The beach seemed to vacate itself as soon as her foot hit the sand, the campers who had been watching retreated to the edges of the grass and glanced at one another awkwardly, not sure whether they should bow or just plain leave. One little girl hid behind an older camper and began crying as Amphitrite approached Chiron, who did an awkward centaur bow to her.

"Lady Amphitrite." He greeted.

"Chiron." She replied, smiling. "I hope you can forgive my husband for this entrance; it was my idea." Chiron's expression shifted, not sure what he should be feeling or what he even was.

"Oh… well, either way, please do not do it again without first informing me. I don't take kindly to campers running into my sword lessons screaming the world is ending on the beach and finding out that it might actually be true. Ah, Percy!" Chiron's awkwardness was taken away when Percy and Poseidon joined them on the beach. "I'm glad you're feeling better!"

"Yes, sir, I am." He replied, scanning the crowd around his side briefly. He didn't have to look long to spot Annabeth, who was marching shamelessly down the beach with her fists clenched and hair done up in the tight ponytail she always wore when she was upset about something or incredibly frustrated.

"Lord Poseidon, Lady Amphitrite," she began, bowing once she reached them. Poseidon let a small chuckle escape his lips; the satisfaction of Athena's children bowing to him. She stood, regaining her posture as her glance turned to Percy. Before he could say anything, her foot hit his hard.

"Ow!" he yelled, unable to jump back since her foot was still crushing his toes. "What was-"

"That was for puking on me." She said, angrily, bringing it down again. "That was for getting sick that violently. That was for scaring the crap out of me. That was for that blue pillar last night." Annabeth stomped his foot a final time, this one harder than all the previous ones put together. "And that was saying I love you, mixed with my frustration of not being able to kiss you right now." Percy struggled to smile through his pain as she let a smile over take her cross expression.

"I love you, too." He said. "I just wish your affection wasn't so rough." Something hit Percy had on the head and fell to the sand at his feet. Upon further examination by Poseidon, Amphitrite and Chiron, Triton cheered as he pulled away from the shore in his chariot.

"Use protection, you two!" he hollered, driving away and laughing like a mad man with the hand that had thrown the condom still high in the air. Poseidon's face turned bright red, along with everyone else's.

"I'll take you up on that offer, Percy." He growled, his trident appearing in his fist. "I'm grounding him so hard he'll never be able to get back up." Amphitrite placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'll handle this." She said, sweetly, stepping back into the chariot with a calm expression on her face. As soon as she was back in the water, Triton began screaming like a little girl as his mother chased him around the water, cussing violently in Greek before she came at him from the side and tipped his chariot into the waves. She came back the shore moments after, smiling sweetly at her husband with Triton in their chariot, his mother holding his ear in one hand, the reigns in the other. "Let's go home, shall we, My Lord?"

"Certainly." Percy had the wind knocked out of him when Poseidon pulled him into a final one arm hug and noogie. "I hope you recover well, Percy! I'll tell Rhode not to cry too hard now that you're gone, but you're always welcome to visit!"

"Thanks, Dad..?" Percy replied, feeling Annabeth's glare on the back of his neck as his father joined his wife and Triton in the chariot, which dove into the water once they had departed the shore.

"Well, Percy, glad to have you back and alive." Chiron began, breaking the very awkward silence. "I have to ask you to stay in your cabin for a few days; doctor's orders, not mine, but we'll look after you and not treat you like the isolated freak of nature son of Poseidon you were the first week you were here…"

"Chiron, he still is the freak of nature son of Poseidon. We saved the world twice; that awkwardness never goes away." Annabeth explained as they walked up the beach.

"Do you know how hard it is to use the bathroom now? Everyone's watching you like they expect some kind of tsunami to come out when you're trying to pee and they always laugh or sigh in relief at what the end up seeing-"

"Just because we do not allow a male and female alone in a cabin together does not mean you can talk about that to your girlfriend, Mr. Jackson." Chiron chided.

"What do you mean-"

"Think about it."

"Oh."

"Seaweed Brain…" Annabeth grumbled.

"Hey, in my defense, I was talking about how far I pee, not the size of my-"

"Chiron! Chiron, we are under attack!" a young female camper ran up to Chiron and fell into the sand, crying loudly. "We're all gonna die!" Chiron sighed.

"No, Lily, no one is going to die. What do you mean, we are under attack?"

"They're got an army and knives and scary faces and bows and arrows and wolf pelts and they're all women!" Lily cried. "They're scarier than men! And they're wearing white! Bad guys aren't supposed to wear white, Chiron!" Chiron groaned and cursed in Greek under his breath.

"Lily, those are just the Hunter of Artemis you saw." Lily's eyes grew wide.

"Hunters?! They're gonna kill us!" She ran to Annabeth and wrapped her arms around her legs, sobbing. "Please save us again!" Annabeth patted her head through her faded orange ball cap.

"It's alright… they aren't going to kill you unless you have a- Wait, what are the Hunter of Artemis doing here?" Chiron, Annabeth and Percy exchanged worried and confused looks. They ran up the hill into the main camp and followed Lily to Half-Blood Hill, where Artemis stood with Thalia, the twenty or so Hunters parked behind them as some of the older campers gathered around them. She and Dionysus were engaged in an argument when Chiron, Percy and Annabeth joined them.

"Chiron, tell this fool of an Olympian to silence himself and refrain from using such vulgar language around the campers and my Hunters." Artemis said, sternly, cutting Dionysus off in the middle of his not so appropriate sentence.

"I would love to, but I'm afraid he never quite catches on." He sighed. "Lady Artemis, it is an honor, but may I ask what you are doing here?" Artemis crossed her arms.

"I have orders from my father to bring my Hunters here until that little illness… the Olympian Sniffles, or whatever it was, passes." She explained. "He is concerned with the possibility that one of my Hunters might develop it and spread it where we don't want it. I don't see how it's a problem, really, but I can't say no to my father."

"Yeah, but I can!" Dionysus scoffed, stepping up to her. "Look, you can't have your little slumber party here because Penelope Jack-ass over there," He pointed to Percy as he spoke. "Just had it! If anything, you're walking into a field full of landmines that your careful little huntress ballet tiptoe stealth can't escape!" Artemis' face was beginning to turn very red as she held her breath, letting Dionysus finish before she exploded like his mother. "One of your little girl scouts is going to get sick and spread it through the whole camp, and soon we'll have kids flooding the cabins with puke and begging to go to their godly parents who don't even want them-"

"Relax, Dionysus!" Thalia began, raising her hands as she stepped beside Artemis. "We're going to stay in the Artemis Cabin, and if you want, we can even camp out here in our tents. Wasn't the plan to keep all the sick patients away from the others so we don't get sick? I think Lady Artemis is smart enough to select young women who are smarter than to walk in on contagious patients with deadly illnesses on their own will. And what harm can Percy do?" she continued, stepping toward him. Percy felt Thalia whack his back hard, he hoped out of friendship, and pull him in close to her. "Look! He's not turning green or anything! He's fine!" Thalia's smile wasn't returned by anyone in front of her. "What? What are you all-"

"Hey! Is everything alright up there?!" A familiar male voice called from a little lower on the hill. Thalia turned and smiled.

"Jason! Hey! What the Hades are you doing here?"

"I heard you were under attack, so I came here to inspect before I sent a legion to help." Jason explained, jogging up the hill beside another young girl.

"I called for help like you said, Lily!" she exclaimed, panting heavily as she reached the top of the hill. "Camp Jupiter's gonna save us!"

"Melina, we aren't under attack anymore!" Lily said, taking her friend's hands. Melina groaned and fell to her knees, out of breath.

"But I called!" Meanwhile, Jason and Thalia were exchanging a hug.

"I haven't seen you in a long time!" Thalia laughed, mussing Jason's hair, who had now grown taller than her. "How does it feel to have saved the world?"

"Meh. Okay. I'm still the odd one out at camp, being the only son of Jupiter and all." Jason replied, noticing Percy. "I can't imagine Percy feels any different; now your relationship with Annabeth is even weirder, huh?" He also gave Percy a hard, Grace-style slap on the back.

"Yeah… uh, look, Jason, and Thalia, too. I just got over being sick, so maybe it'd be better if you stayed away for a while."

"Yeah, we'll give you space." Thalia said, stepping back. "I heard from Lady Artemis you hit it off with one of Poseidon's daughters!"

"I didn't hit it off with her, Rhode and I became friends." Percy sighed. "It was fine until Kymopoleia showed up… then things got complicated…" Jason shuddered.

"Yeah… I can imagine… Hey, Dian- I mean, Artemis, Chiron, D… Dione?"

"Dionysus." Dionysus snapped. Artemis and Chiron were staring wide eyed at Jason and Thalia.

"What?" both siblings asked.

"Lady Artemis, we've talked about me being allowed to hug my own brother-"

"Yes, yes, Thalia, I know…" Artemis sighed, her brow furrowed very deep as she messaged her temples. "Both of you… all three of you walking Prophecy bombs;" She looked tiredly at Percy, Jason and Thalia. "Just… don't touch anyone."

* * *

"We've got the Zeus Cabin all to ourselves!" Jason said, pushing open the doors. "I bet Reyna and Piper both think I've been killed… I need to call them sooner or later…"

"Yeah, you should do that… I know what it's like wondering if you're dead." Thalia added, looking up. "That statue never stops being terrifying."

"Have you ever wondered if it could shoot lasers at us from its eyes?" Jason asked, staring up at the eyes of the large statue of Zeus in the center of their cabin. Thalia chuckled.

"You always had this obsession with lasers." She said. "You used to play this game with me where you would take a pen and pretend it was a laser gun- Crap, I forgot something in the Artemis Cabin!"

"What?" Thalia had her hands jammed in her pockets.

"It's this little tool I use to polish and sharpen my arrows… I'll be right back!" Jason flopped on one of the two beds that had moved into the cabin and closed his eyes. The anxiety of the day must have been getting to him; he had a small headache. Then again, who wouldn't after being called by such a young camper from Camp Half-Blood who was in tears saying they were being attacked?

"Hey." Jason nearly leapt out of his skin as he jolted up and felt electricity shoot through his body, his breathing cut off.

"Dear gods, Nico… you could at least knock before sneaking in like that…" he managed, holding a hand over his heart as it beat against his chest.

"I did, but you didn't answer." Nico replied, backing away. Jason sat up fully and patted the blankets beside him.

"It's alright, here; sit." Nico shook his head.

"I really shouldn't. I mean, this is the Zeus Cabin, and I'm not exactly a son of Zeus-"

"Neither am I. If we get blasted, we get blasted together." Nico sighed and sat beside Jason reluctantly. "What's up?"

"Well… I just thought I should let you know that… uh… Well, you probably don't even know him, but… I'm seeing someone now, just a little."

"Hey, a little is a long way for you, di Angelo." Jason began. "So what's going on with you besides your love life taking off?"

"Well, I guess I just came to talk about it, really. I mean, I'm not really sure what two guys do since, well… you know… we're both guys."

"Well, have you kissed yet?" Nico turned red.

"Once or twice. But… they were just little. I'm not sure how comfortable I am yet…"

"That's okay; everybody moves at different paces with this kind of stuff."

"You say that like you have plenty of experiences." Jason flexed his muscles.

"Child of Jupiter, buddy. I know what I'm talking about." The roof rumbled. Jason chuckled. "Sorry, but it's true that the king ruled over more than just the gods." Nico held in his laughter while Jason continued to chuckle. "See, he hasn't blasted us yet because Hera's probably standing behind him with her hand on his shoulder saying no and she wants you to live so she and Aphrodite can watch your crazy high school romance." Nico let out a small laugh.

"Sure thing… Jason, thanks for standing by me. I haven't told too many people yet because I admit I'm afraid of what will come from it… maybe I'm being shy or just overthinking it, but everyone who knows still looks at me like I'm the same son of Hades. I don't want to be anything more than the child who isn't supposed to exist in the eyes of others-"

"If you ever are and it isn't good, tell me and I'll send a lightning bolt or an army your way if you want." Jason offered. Nico smiled at his serious tone before Jason laughed and coughed.

"No, thanks. Just don't leave your sworn enemy by godly bloodlines."

"The ceiling is telling me to electrocute you." Jason said, rising from the bed. Big mistake. Almost instantly as he rose to pretend to shock Nico, Jason felt his head fly forward like an anvil headed for the ground and didn't stop until his skull had made contact with the hard floor, his body giving out on him. His limbs felt like long ketchup packets from fast food restaurants and his chest like a giant hot air balloon. His head spun, causing his vision to spin and swerve with it, feeling like it was going to drive him into the wall, but had him instead trying to follow it in circles without the ability to move anywhere else. Nico was yelling his name, but soon it was gone, just like the world around him as Jason felt his head collide with the floor again before he passed out.

* * *

 **There we go! Jason has now been afflicted by the curse of the Olympian Sniffles! What about Thalia? Did she make it out- Well, if you read the Author's Note at the beginning, you know she doesn't. Her passing out is funny. Mwahahaha**

 **Anyway... not much to say from here on out! Here's a preview for the next chapter!**

 _ **"I don't care how nice you might be or how much you say you aren't going to hurt us, but I still don't trust you."**_

 _ **"Oh, really? And why is that?"**_

 _ **"Because we're children of Zeus and doing bad things to children of Zeus is kind of your job! You also crushed my leg with a statue on Olymous once."**_

 _ **"And if you guys are still fighting over what happened with the prophecy, wouldn't the chances of hurtign us be higher?"**_

 _ **"I am humored. Zeus, come here, and don't you dare touch my ass."**_


	7. Zeus and Hera do the unthinkable

**Finally time for us to start with the Zeus family! I've enjoyed writing this so far mostly because of the little cliff we got in _The Blood of Olympus_ about how Hera and Zeus' relationship took a little dip for the worst when he was ticked at her for working the prophecy out herself.**

 **Don't remember that?**

 **Now you know!**

 **I wasn't able to update for a while because... well, _Greek Heroes_! I remember writing an Author's Note for _14 Gods Around the World_ where I talked about _Greek Gods_... It's been a whole year already! Speaking of other fanfics... I want to clear up that Zeus and Hera's family in _Sniffles_ is different than in _Olympus Got Talent!_ Their child count remains at three, since I am sticking to cannon and not throwing in a plot line involving Ares, Eris and Enyo. Read on!**

 **Remember to follow, favorite and review! Seriously, please you guys. Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for upcoming chapters and any characters you want to see! I can easily say that we will be seeing Nico and Hazel next, followed by Annabeth, Piper, Leo, Frank, the Stoll brothers, Clarisse and Reyna as a double whamy... If you want anyone else that I've forgotten, please let me know! I don't mind returning to a certain godly family, but I would rather avoid it.**

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **Last night Zeus made the weather here in Canadia miserable... He wouldn't do that to the awesome Rick Riordan. He wants me dead, not him.**

* * *

Thalia's experience with capturing the Sniffles hadn't been any more pleasant than her brother's. The last thing she remembered before passing out was falling to her knees and feeling extremely warm, like someone had rested the sun on her upper back, letting her head spin before she lie still on the ground in front of the Artemis Cabin doors and didn't pass out until someone opened the door and slammed it against her head. But… where was she now?

When she woke up, she was in a room she didn't recognize. There were white drapes all around her bed, which had soft white silk sheets and fluffy feather pillows. Thalia tried to groan as she rose, but her throat felt very dry and full of sand, hurting to breathe a little. The light that came in from the curtains was light and drowsy, almost a soft cream color and made Thalia feel very peaceful. When she pushed them aside, she was facing a tall window to her left with another set of curtains. The white marble walls were lit with fresh morning light that gave Thalia a nostalgic feel from waking up as a child earlier than she should have. The room was warm and birds could be heard chirping outside. Gods, it was too peaceful for waking up after being smacked in the face with a door by your own underlings.

A tall glass of water was set on the bedside table on the other side of the curtains, which Thalia took and savored the droplets that fell along the sides of the glass onto her fingers. It felt very good against her throat and soothed the flaked feeling of it. When she finally set it down, she took in her surroundings a little more. There was a second bed identical to her own placed opposite hers with the drapes pulled, a chair with clothes folded neatly in a pile on each one beside the two beds. Thalia recognized Jason's clothing from Camp Jupiter immediately. Looking at her own clothes, she had been changed from the clothes Artemis had provided for her into a pair of soft flannel pyjamas.

The room was lined with Greek pillars along the walls and had two windows on either side of the room, a door on the left wall near Thalia's bed. Hesitantly, she rose. Good, she could stand and her head didn't spin. Her legs felt loose and wobbly and almost tired, as if they'd stopped walking for so long and realized how nice it was not to move. Thalia felt very well rested, actually, and didn't feel any pain on her forehead where the door had made contact. She carefully took a step forward, then another.

"Jason?" she asked, softly. Her voice didn't sound too great, like her vocal chords and a frog's had mixed together. "Jason, can you hear me?" Thalia only heard a soft groan. There was a glass of water on Jason's bedside table, too. "I'm going to open the drapes, okay?" There was no response. Thalia carefully and slowly pushed away the drapes to her side and found her brother sleeping with a girl sitting on his chest.

They both locked eyes as Thalia pulled the drapes apart a little further. The girl couldn't have been any older than four or five and had big, chocolate colored eyes and brown hair done up in two pigtails on either side of her head. She was tiny for her age and was seated contently on Jason's stomach, getting crumbs from her strawberry Pop-Tart all over her frilly white night gown. She stared at Thalia for a moment, not getting any words out of her, and went back to staring at Jason as he slept.

"Who are you?" Thalia asked, trying to sound a little threatening. The girl looked back at her and finished chewing her bite before she responded.

"Hebe is Hebe." She answered. Thalia did the only logical thing once Hebe turned back to Jason and watched him struggle breathing with 50 pounds of girl on his chest; she lifted Hebe by the back of her night gown collar and carried her to the door, opened it with the other hand and set her in the hallway, still eating her Pop-Tart. She closed the door, satisfied with the strength one can find when they must protect their brothers from suspicious ladies. That's when she officially woke up.

Thalia opened the door again, slowly. Looming over her and Hebe was unmistakeably Ares, though Thalia had only seen him once before, it didn't make sense for any other Olympian to wear a leather jacket, combat boots and shades indoors or this early in the morning. A string of cuss words flew through her head as she wondered what might happen to her, the most plausible answer was being pounded if the orders were given.

"Ares," Hebe began, looking up at him. She only came a fourth of the way up his legs.

"What, squirt?" Ares replied. Thalia couldn't tell if he was looking at her or Hebe.

"Don't tell Mama Hebe stole a Pop-Tart." Hebe continued. "Hebe wants more for breakfast."

"Ma's making pancakes." Ares replied, placing his insanely huge fist on her insanely tiny head. "Savor it while you can, kid."

"Okay." Hebe took a big bite of her Pop-Tart and walked around Thalia and back into the room, leaving her alone with Ares as she sat on the bed beside Jason, still watching him. Thalia and Ares met eyes.

"'Sup, punk." Ares asked.

"Will you tell me what's going on?" Thalia replied. Ares sighed and shoved his fists in his pockets with such force she was amazed his hands didn't break right through.

"Ma asked me to check on you and Jason. She said you would either wake up today or be dead."

"Jason's still dead!" Hebe reported. "Should Hebe plug his nose to speed the process?"

"No!" Thalia exclaimed. "Just… just let him rest, alright?" Hebe puffed her cheeks.

"You can't tell Hebe what to do." She pouted. "Hebe is Hebe!"

"That's enough, Hebe. Leave him alone." Ares ordered. Hebe huffed as she slid off the bed and went back to the door, where she demanded Ares carry her using mouth noises and arm waving. "You've been out for about four days." Ares began once he had secured Hebe in one arm, patting her back with the other to keep her from exploding in a temper. "They moved you from Camp Half-Blood as soon as they found you two; Jason passed out in Cabin One. Since then, Ma and Eileithyia have been looking after you-"

"Hebe got to use the Persephiscope!" Hebe exclaimed, her mouth stuffed with the remaining Pop-Tart.

"Stethoscope." Ares corrected. "Anyway, I'm done checking on you now. Get Jason up and get out of here. Ma hates waiting on people for breakfast."

"Put Hebe down!" Hebe exclaimed, sliding from Ares' arms and to the floor, where she promptly ran back to Jason's bed and climbed on beside him, staring at him as full of wonder as ever.

"Haven't you ever seen a boy before?" Thalia asked, frustrated. "They're not that wonderful, you know."

"You sound like Artemis." Hebe said.

"Listen, kid; why are you staring at my brother like that?" Thalia asked, sitting on her own bed and facing Hebe. "Have you got a problem with us being here, too?"

"Because Hebe thinks this person looks like Heracles!"

"Excuse me?" Hebe puffed her cheeks, frustrated.

"Hebe thinks this person looks like Mister Heracles so Hebe wanted to look at him because Hebe misses Mister Heracles!" Hebe replied, as if this was the easiest thing in the world to understand. Thalia bit her lip.

"Look. How about you run off and play somewhere while I wake him up, alright? Didn't Ares say you were having breakfast? Go get another Pop-Tart or… something." Thalia nudged Hebe from the bed, who was putting on her best pre-tantrum pouty face as Thalia pushed Jason's shoulders. "Jason..? Jason! Jason, wake up!" Jason groaned and rolled over, giving Thalia a great opening to jab her fingers in his side under his rib cage. Jason jolted awake and sat up faster than Artemis when there was a raccoon snuggling with her. He sat up with the blankets tangled around his legs and stared at her with groggy, half alive eyes.

"Wha..?" he groaned, putting on a pouty face, too. Thalia sighed. She was having enough of pouty faces.

"It's morning, you've been out for four days, you've got a new girlfriend." Jason's face twisted into a confused expression. "You also probably can't feel your throat." Jason nodded as Thalia passed him his glass of water. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Hebe rummaging through her hunting bag. "Hey! What are you-"

"What's this?" Hebe asked, holding up a thin metal tube on a string. Thalia sighed and took it from her, shoving it back into her bag quickly.

"That's a rape whistle." Jason spit out his water and wheezed, trying to find a pattern between breathing and laughing. Thalia rolled her eyes. "Yes, Jason. Artemis makes everyone carry one. Just in case." Jason had tears rolling down the sides of his face. His sister couldn't help but chuckle along with him. "It is pretty stupid, isn't it?" Jason finally calmed down, setting his glass on the table and wiping the remaining water from his chin.

"Hebe doesn't understand." Hebe pointed out, watching her two technically younger half-siblings laugh over a question she had asked. "Stop laughing at Hebe!"

"We aren't laughing at… Oh gods!" Thalia held her hand to her mouth, trying to stop laughing. Her voice sounded like a low roar mixed with phlegm in her throat. Wonderful.

"Why do you sound like… Oh, gods…" Jason grimaced, hearing the sound of his own voice for the first time. "Is this what the… Olympian Sniffles does?"

"To you children, apparently." The Grace siblings looked toward the door. Hera was standing in the doorway carrying a tray of pancakes, syrup, butter, nectar and fresh fruits. She smiled. "Good morning, Jason, Thalia."

"Mama!" Hebe exclaimed, running to Hera excitedly. "Mama, what's rape?" Hera's sweet smile didn't fade, but Jason could feel her patience snapping like the neck of a monster.

"Rape is a big girl science word, Hebe." She replied, looking down at her daughter. They looked exactly alike; the same hair, same eyes, same face shape and same regal aura, though it certainly wasn't in the same way. Hebe scowled.

"Hebe doesn't like big girl science words because Hebe is Mama's little girl and not big because Hebe is little." Hera smiled proudly.

"That's right! Hebe, baby, how about you go get your Papa and tell him Jason and Thalia are awake?" Hebe nodded and ran from the room. Hera turned to her step children.

"She took a whistle from my bag." Thalia said. Hera nodded.

"I know. Don't worry, dear, I'm not going to hurt you. Artemis always has one on her, too. Just in case. So does Athena. Oh, it was hilarious the day we let Hermes pickpocket her… Anyway, I brought you breakfast. You hadn't gotten up yet, so I figured you were either stuck in bed or dead. Just wanted to double check on the dead part; I'm afraid you've disappointed Hades." Jason and Thalia looked awkwardly at one another. Hera was being… nice? Motherly was a better word to use. They were either imagining things from the illness or were about to get in a lot of trouble.

"Sorry, Hades..?" Jason was the first to speak up as Hera set the tray of food on the bedside table. Thalia sat back on her bed as her stomach growled.

"Thalia, Artemis is having Apollo bring you some medicine so you can be back as soon as possible. Jason, I've been getting several calls from a certain… Piper, was it?" Jason nodded. Hera continued. "She almost held a funeral for you and that Reyna girl led a legion to Camp Half-Blood. It was quite entertaining… What's with that look, Thalia?" Thalia was staring at Hera, watching her closely. Hera sighed. "Don't tell me you're having trust issues."

"You're Hera; of course I am." She began. "We're children of Zeus who were born after your husband promised not to have any more kids, and hurting children of Zeus is kind of what you're most famous for."

"You also… Well, Juno kidnapped me and kept me somewhere for a few months, and technically you're the same person." Jason added. "You also-"

"I don't need to have my life story shoved in my face again, thank you." Hera cut him off. Thalia pulled at the sides of her pyjamas.

"Someone had to change me out of my hunting clothes, so you probably laced these with poison or something, didn't you?" Hera opened her mouth to protest, but Jason opened his faster.

"You and Zeus were fighting over the prophecy when the battle in Greece ended, right?" Jason continued. Even though it would probably get him blown up, he had all the right to continue bashing his least favorite goddess. "If you guys are still fighting over it, now would be a great time to take out your anger on his defenseless, sick, illegitimate children-"

"Fine." Hera snapped. "I'll prove I won't hurt you because of grudges or what horrible things practically every myth says about me. I'll prove it to you we've made up; the prophecy, the oath, the past. All of it." She turned around and marched toward the door, bumping into Zeus and Hebe on the way in.

"Papa was still sleeping, Mama!" Hebe announced, holding Zeus' hand like she had to drag him there. "Hebe had to jump on Papa's tummy to get Papa up!" Hera's motherly look returned.

"Oh, Hebe, Mama told you not to do that anymore! It hurts Papa's tummy!" Hera looked up at her husband, who was wearing a suit, despite having just woken up. Jason guessed it ran in the family to dress better after sleeping in when duty calls. "Good morning, Zeus, dear."

"Good morning, Hera-" She rose on her toes and kissed him. Thalia's jaw dropped. So did Zeus' when Hera pulled away. "Did I do anything wrong..?" he asked, carefully. Hera smiled at him.

"No. I just wanted to say I love you." Zeus' worried look faded and he smiled gleefully.

"Oh! I love you, too!" Thalia averted her eyes the second time. She wasn't sure if little alarms would go off in Artemis' head if one of her Hunters saw a couple kissing.

"See? We get along; I'm not going to maim, injure, destroy or brutally murder you." Hera chimed as Zeus pulled her into what must have been their first hug in a decade. Zeus was smiling like this was the first kiss he'd had in a long time from his wife. At least they weren't extremely verbal kissers. Jason and Thalia stared at one another before Hebe broke the silence for them as the king and queen of the gods stared at one another lovingly.

"Whoa…" she managed, breathless. Hera giggled and lifted her daughter into her arms. "Mama… Hebe hasn't seen Mama and Papa kiss in a long time! Does…" Her expression looked pained. "Does that mean that before Mama and Papa kissed now… Mama and Papa didn't love each other..?"

"Oh, Hebe… Mama and Papa just had a little argument, that's all." Hera replied. "Now, it's all better."

"Papa?" Hebe asked. Zeus nodded.

"Yes; It's all better." He replied, mussing her hair. "Now you go have some breakfast. Papa needs to talk to Jason and Thalia, alright?"

"Alright!" Hebe's eyes lit up as Hera put her on the ground. "Hebe will get Hebe's doctor kit and do doctor stuff again!" Hebe exclaimed as she ran from the room. The four of them were silent.

"That… that actually happened for real, right?" Jason asked, coughing to clear his throat. Zeus and Hera nodded.

"All is well; therapy and self-counselling sessions." Zeus replied.

"I feel like I just lived to see something no one else will ever get to see." Thalia managed.

"Eat your pancakes before they get cold." Hera instructed. She looked up at her husband. "I believe you have some calls to make to- Don't touch there!" The Graces looked up from getting their plates. Zeus had his hand sliding down Hera's waist.

"Sorry… you know how I am, darling." Hera huffed and pulled out of their hug, holding one hand to his forehead to keep him from kissing her again. It didn't work.

"Yes, husband, I do." She huffed, blushing. As soon as she left the room, Zeus began to laugh to himself. Jason and Thalia didn't know either to smile or keep their eyes on their pancakes.

"Really, though, we aren't fighting over anything that I am aware of and probably will not be until it is too late." Zeus said, sitting in the chair that had been cleared of Thalia's things by Hebe.

"I'm sorry if this is rude, Father…" Thalia began, swallowing her pancakes. Gods, they were good. "But you seem a little less… sophisticated than I imagined."

"Of course I am. For the first time in years, there isn't a war and I don't have to try impressing demigods or my immortal children." Zeus replied. "Even gods need to relax. In fact, you should have seen us before you arrived at the meeting we held on the Winter Solstice a few years ago… Gods, it was like I'd walked into a room full of wild preschoolers trapped in the bodies of grown Olympians." That got all three of them laughing. "I just want to make sure you are comfortable here on Olympus." Zeus continued, picking a strawberry from the bowl of fruit on the tray. "Be respectful, but unwind so you can feel better. If you need anything within reason, ask Hera and I. All I ask in return is that you do not aggravate Ares and be kind to Hebe."

"Don't you and Hera have another daughter?" Jason asked. "Lucina?"

"Eileithyia." Zeus answered.

"I thought Hebe was married." Thalia said, drowning her pancakes in more syrup than Artemis would have approved. "And there's a cabin for Hebe at Camp Half-Blood with campers in it, too… Why is she so young?" Zeus furrowed his brow.

"It's… well… It's complicated. Eileithyia can explain when she comes home; she understands the whole pregnancy thing more than I do." Jason nearly spit out his water.

* * *

 **I feel like I'm running out of things to say in the Author's Note but as I scramble to find things I fill it up anyway... Please review you guys! I love you all so much for all you do and I want to hear more feedback!**

 **Here's a preview for the next chapter!**

 ** _"Hebe, you shouldn't be so picky and dependant on Mama, okay?"_**

 ** _"Why..?"_**

 ** _"Because some people don't have Mama's."_**

 ** _"Like who..?"_**

 ** _"Well... Thalia and Jason don't have a Mama."_**

 ** _"Hebe?"_**

 ** _"GIVE THALIA AND JASON A MAMA NOW, PAPA! HEBE DEMANDS IT!"_**


	8. Hebe unleashes Kid-Logic

**Owlion12 is back after a year of not publishing anything! Yay!**

 **So, my excuse for practically not writing a thing over the school year is because of school. Since Thennie and I graduated this June, I wanted to focus all my time toward my classes, since there were a few difficult ones that often didn't leave me time to do anything after school was out! But we both graduated with flying colors and are ready for more writing!**

 **To make it up to all the people who have been waiting for this story to update, those who have Followed/Favorited _Olympian Sniffles_ or Owlion12 over the course of the year and as a treat to anyone picking this up today onward, I will be uploading the next five chapters I managed to complete! Super huge update time!**

 **News aside, I had a ton of fun writing this chapter! Hebe was ridiculously fun to write, and the chapter kept getting longer and longer because Hera needed to make more sandwhiches and I kept getting new joke ideas... really, this chapter could count as two!**

 **Special thanks goes out to everyone who Followed and Favorited while I wasn't writing and to _icecream401_ for once again helping me preview and think of ideas for our favorite little annoying goddess of youth! You rock, Icy!**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **Sparta is red, the ocean is blue, we don't own it, and neither do you!**

* * *

"Found it." Thalia's finger shot onto the page of the _I Spy_ book she, Ares and Zeus were passing time with. Ares cursed under his breath and refrained from hitting his fist against the table while Zeus sighed.

"Damn it…" Ares huffed, beginning to look for the next item on the page entitled _Wild Bird Safari_. "Can't we use my _Great Wars of the Past_ Edition, Ma? It's so much easier-"

"What if your baby sister wants to play?" Hera said over the sound of grilled cheese sandwiches sizzling on the stove. "You know that book isn't appropriate, Ares."

"Dad, can I?" Ares asked Zeus, who sighed again and leaned back in the kitchen chair.

"On your own time, son." Ares pursed his lips and let his hand shoot out like a rocket so his finger hit the right bird before Thalia's.

"Ha. Vultures are my thing, Artiecakes." Thalia scowled.

"I told you to stop calling me that." She said, flipping the page. "But, I guess I don't have much authority around the great and powerful god of war, Lord Arse." Zeus snickered as Ares' face turned bright red.

"Ares, what have we told you about killing your siblings?" Hera warned, her back turned to them.

"Don't do it because you called dibs, Ma." Ares recited, rolling his eyes. The four of them were in the kitchen, waiting for Hera to finish making lunch while Jason and Hebe took early afternoon naps. Hebe, for whatever reason, had insisted she and Jason take naps at the same time, and from the way Hera reacted to this statement, if Hebe didn't get her way, it would mean the end of all humanity.

"Very good, Ares. And Thalia, that language is not appropriate. What if Hebe heard you and started saying that word at her age? Wouldn't you be mortified? I'd have to blast you and your brother to pieces!"

"But Jason didn't do anything-"

"Two-for-One deal." Zeus and Hera both said. Thalia sighed before she continued.

"And Hebe isn't out here now. I'm sure you and Zeus say worse words than that when she's not around-" The doorbell rang. Hera flicked a switch on the oven and went for the door, wiping her hands on her apron. Thalia and Zeus sat listening as she opened the door, Ares grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Hello, my sweetheart!" A chipper voice called. Thalia groaned internally. Zeus rose from his chair cautiously. "I have come to deliver for you my undying affection in hopes that you recover soon from your illness! Now, allow the sun to brighten up your day with a lovely haiku composed by none other than the fabulous me!"

 _My Thalia Grace,_

 _Please accept these feelings of mine,_

 _For they speak the truth._

"Bite me, sunny boy." There was a very high pitched shriek.

"Oh gods Lady Hera I am so sorry I thought you were Thalia because these shades make me look so cool but I can't see through them at all and you're a girl too so you've both got nice bodies not that I'm flirting with you or anything Lady Hera please don't kill me or my sister or mother please I'm begging you-"

"Well, I do love it when you beg. Come in, Apollo. Quiet down or you'll wake Hebe and Jason and give me another migraine." A moment later, Hera entered the kitchen followed by Apollo, carrying a bouquet of flowers and wearing shades as dark as Ares'.

"Okay, so, where's Thalia?" he asked, keeping the shades on as he ran into the counter and knocked over a chair. Hera gave him the death stare as she used her leg to keep it from falling.

"Take off those glasses, you idiot, and look for yourself." she winced, pushing the chair back into place. Apollo gasped.

"I'm an idiot? Thalia can't see me when I'm an idiot… It's not who I really am! Here, give her these." Apollo held the flowers in front of him. Hera was already back at the stove, so Zeus gladly accepted them.

"Certainly, son." Apollo gasped again.

"Oh, hi Daddy! You're okay if Thalia and I start dating, right? I know it sounds weird to ask you that but it's this mortal thing about the boy asking the girl's parents…"

"No, Apollo. I am not."

"Bummer… Anyway, my baby sister wanted me to give Thalia and Jason these so Artemis can have her playmate back a lot sooner." Apollo pulled two plastic medicine bottles from the pockets of his hoodie and set them on the counter, which meant they fell to the floor because he couldn't see the counter. "Send Thalia my love and undying affection and show me to the door, please!" he chimed, holding out his arm. Ares grabbed it and Apollo screamed like a dying vulture as he gave the god of music and fabulousness a good, hard "Indian Sunburn."

"Why don't you take those damn things off, you weirdo?" he growled, lifting Apollo into the air above his head like he was lifting weights.

"Because Lady Hera said I'm an idiot and if I keep acting like one maybe she won't hurt my baby sister or mother or me and since begging makes her happy I figured seeing me act dumb might also and it's fun being in character and I can't exactly change in front of Thalia because that would be embarrassing and you won't understand because you aren't fabulous-" The door slammed shut loudly. Ares came sauntering back into the room, his hands stuffed in his pockets proudly. Hera groaned from the stove.

"Why do I even try with these children..?" she grumbled. "Zeus, will you go check on Hebe and Jason and make sure that… Gods, idiot is the only word for him, isn't it, make sure that Apollo didn't wake them?"

"Hebe's awake." Thalia pointed out as the little goddess hobbled past her in her nightgown, cuddling her blanket against one cheek. She watched as Hebe vanished behind the counter due to her short height as Hera looked away briefly from the stove.

"Hello, baby!" she cooed, her tone changing drastically. "Did you have a good nap-nap time?" Hebe mumbled something. "Mama can't cuddle now because I have to make some yummy lunch, but when I'm done, we can cuddle lots, alright?"

"No!" Hebe whined. "Hebe wants Mama now!"

"Mama can't or else the grilled cheese won't taste good!"

"Hebe doesn't care about the grilled cheese! Hebe cares about Mama cuddling Hebe!"

"Hebe, your mother is busy." Zeus called. That got Hebe's attention as she stomped around the counter and glared up at her father in his seat.

"Hebe always gets cuddles from Mama after Hebe has nap-nap time. Always after Hebe's nap-nap time." She began, sternly. "If Hebe doesn't have Hebe's cuddles from Mama after Hebe's nap-nap time, Hebe is going to have a tantrum."

"If you have a tantrum, you're going to be in trouble, Hebe." Zeus warned. Hebe was putting on her pouty face again. "Papa will make you go to the time out corner and take away all your coloring books." Hebe's face swelled up and became very red. Thalia recognized it; Jason used to do the exact same thing.

"Why don't you let Papa cuddle you, Hebe?" Hera offered, keeping her eyes on her cooking. "Papa gives Mama very good cuddles!"

"But Hebe wants Mama!"

"You'll have to settle with Papa for now, Hebe, but remember that Mama said she'd cuddle you later." Zeus said, lifting Hebe onto his lap. She did not look at all happy to be there. Thalia didn't dare meet her eyes. Little kids became absolute gangsters when they were cranky.

"Hebe hates Mama…" Hebe mumbled, putting her blanket over her head and pulling down on the corners to avoid being seen. "Mama's a big fat ugly stupid head because she isn't cuddling Hebe…"

"Listen, squirt." Ares began, taking a swig of his beer. "Ma talked to us earlier about not saying bad words. So, if you don't want Ma to be an even bigger big fat ugly stupid head like you say she is, don't talk like that, alright?" Hebe glared at him. Ares glared back. They kept this up for a while until Hebe finally gave in.

"Play with Hebe." She ordered. Ares set down his beer and they continued their little staring contest.

"What kind of game?"

"Doctor."

"What are you?"

"Hebe is the doctor."

"What am I?"

"Papa, Thalia and Ares are Hebe's patients."

"What about Ma?"

"Mama is Hebe's medicine maker. Mama is a very busy woman who cannot be bothered with cuddles, even after Doctor Hebe's nap-nap time when Doctor Hebe works impossibly long work hours like Hephie." Thalia blinked.

"Who's going into Doctor Hebe's office first?" Zeus asked. "Oh, Doctor Hebe, don't you need your medical bag?" Hebe shook her head. She wasn't about to let her pouty glare face fall too soon.

"No. Doctor Hebe is a smart doctor. Ares, you're first."

"The first sandwich is ready for whoever wants it!" Hera chimed, placing a plate with grilled cheese on the counter in front of them. Ares reached out for it, but Hebe's yell cut him off.

"Not until after Doctor Hebe examines you!" she ordered. "Mama and Papa and Eilei tell Hebe that you can't eat before big doctor things or bad things will happen!"

"Yeah, but you aren't cutting us open, are you?"

"Just let her go." Thalia sighed. Ares fixed his gaze on her. "You don't want to put her in a bad mood, do you? If she's anything like Jason was, you'd do better just to avoid making her U-P-S-E-T."

"Hebe's not upset. Hebe is also illiterate." Thalia left that comment where it was.

"I never said you were."

"I am." Ares began, sitting proudly in his seat. "Doctor Hebe, I think something is wrong with me."

"What's wrong with you?"

"I have chlamydia." Zeus and Thalia froze up. The bread on the oven seemed to sizzle a little louder. Hebe lifted part of her blanket from her head and leaned back, looking upward at her father.

"Papa? What's clammerhea?" she asked. Zeus swallowed.

"I don't think Doctor Hebe has the right medical degree to know what that word means…" Thalia offered, trying to keep her father out of his awkward position.

"What do you mean?" Hebe asked. Thalia cleared her throat so she didn't sound so much like a frog anymore, but she still sounded pretty bad.

"Well, when you go to doctor school to become a doctor, you get what are called degrees, which can be like rewards or signs that you know a lot of things! Every time you get a new one, you learn new words!"

"Oh." Hebe understood kid-logic quite well. "So Hebe needs Ares to go to a smarter doctor, right?"

"Would it help if I described the symptoms?" Ares offered.

"No!" Thalia, Zeus and Hera all said at once. "Why don't you look at Thalia and see what's wrong with her?" Zeus asked, bouncing Hebe a little on his knee.

"Don't bounce Hebe when Hebe isn't in a good mood because Mama is being a meanie poopy face." She snapped. Zeus stopped.

"The meanie poopy face has finished another sandwich." Hera said, setting another on the table, which Zeus offered to Hebe before eating it for himself.

"I have a sore throat." Thalia began. She thought about acting the part, or at least like she was in more pain, but she didn't need to, given how awful she sounded. She was beginning to think she could have used her hideous voice as a method to drive away Apollo when he had been here.

"Does it feel like the carpet at the front door or the curtains in Mama and Papa's room or Hebe's blankie?" Thalia winced. What on earth was she talking about?

"Um… the curtains." She decided.

"Does it feel like sandpaper or does it feel full of goopy stuff or is it a drain pipe?"

"Goopy stuff."

"Have you eaten anything strange like a squirrel with Artemis or a bug or medicine or poop?"

"No."

"Have you had sex in the past week?"

"Hebe!" Zeus yelled. "Where on earth did you learn something like that?"

"Mama told Hebe to practice reading and Hebe found a bottle of medications on Papa's dresser and Hebe readed it."

"Maybe she's got strep throat, Hebe." Ares offered. Thalia gave him a look. "It was the first throat related illness I could think of." He shrugged.

"Hebe doesn't want to be Doctor Hebe anymore." Hebe pouted, watching as Hera set another plate on the counter. "Hebe isn't smart enough to be Doctor Hebe…"

"Sure you are, squirt!" Ares managed, eating half of one of his sandwich triangles at once. "Why don't you let Thalia show you? She's a pretty bad and stupid doctor!"

"Hey!" Thalia managed, her throat feeling like it was stuffed with cement. Ares gave her a look she recognized, the Play-Along-Or-You'll-Regret-It look. "Alright… Hebe, I'm Doctor Thalia. What's up?"

"Hebe has a hurt heart…"

"Like a heart burn or heart attack or heart ache?"

"No! Because Hebe's Mama doesn't love Hebe! Hebe knows it's because Mama isn't Hebe's real Mama!"

"Come again?" Hebe's face turned bright red with anger.

"Hebe is never coming here again!"

"No, no!" Thalia managed, trying to recover from Hebe's outburst. "It's an expression! It means the same thing as asking someone to repeat what they said or explain it."

"Ares was right…" Hebe sniffled. "You really are stupid… Hebe wants to go back to nap-nap time…"

"Now, now, Hebe." Zeus said, patting her on the head. Hebe didn't take kindly to that, either. "Why don't you tell Doctor Thalia about how you were born? That might help Doctor Thalia figure out how to help stop your heart hurting!"

"Hebe was borned from a peacock egg." Hebe began, pulling her blanket over her head. "Hebe's peacock Mama didn't want Hebe because Hebe was different and on a stormy night she left Hebe on the doorstep of Mama and Papa's palace and rang the doorbell and flew away without Hebe. Hebe was still an egg and when Mama and Papa picked up Hebe's egg, Hebe hatcheded from it and Mama and Papa kept Hebe because Hebe was the perfect baby and Mama's favorite animal is the peacock so it was the right thing to do." Thalia blinked. "Everybody else cameded from eggs, too!" Hebe exclaimed, continuing as Zeus fixed her position on his legs. "Papa came from an eagle egg and Nina Rhea found Papa and took care of Papa in a cave because Kronos was allergic to eagles, Mama was borned from a peacock egg, too, Auntie Demeter was borned from a snake egg because Auntie told Hebe snakes have eggs like birds do, Unca Hades was borned from an owl egg like Athena, Ares was borneded from a vulture egg Mama and Papa found in the dumpster, Hephaestus was borneded from a quail egg Mama found inside an egg carton and threw away cuz it was yucky. Some of Hebe's big brothers and big sisters don't have eggs because they were already hatched but pooped too much so they got abandoned on Papa's doorstep because it was the easy way out-"

"Okay, Hebe, I get it." Thalia said, her head spinning and full of hot air from the five year-old's kid-logic rant. They heard the door open and shut, followed by what sounded like a heavy bag being set down on the ground. Hebe perked up immediately.

"Eilei's back from her work at the hospital!" she exclaimed, jumping off her father's lap and running to the door.

"Who?" Thalia asked. Ares took a huge bite out of his sandwich.

"Our sister, Eileithyia. She's the goddess of childbirth and Ma's second favorite kid."

"Now, Ares, we both know I love each of my children equally." Hera began, flipping another sandwich onto a plate as Hebe entered the room with a woman who looked like she was in her mid-twenties with long blonde hair braided down her back wearing a doctor's uniform.

"Hi, Mum." Eileithyia began, setting down her medical bag and giving her mother a quick peck on the cheek. Hera smiled as her daughter began to put away the things she had gotten out to make their sandwiches.

"Hi, honey. How was work? Anything interesting happen?"

"Did you get to keep any of the babies?" Hebe asked, grabbing her older sister's leg. "Did you bring one home for Hebe? Hebe wants a girl-"

"No, I'm sorry Hebe!" Eileithyia began, giving her sister a pitying look as she threw out the remaining cheese wrappers and slid the bread back into its drawer. "I asked all the new Mamas and Papas if they would let me take a baby home for you, but they loved them too much to let them go! Maybe we'll try again tomorrow, alright?"

"Can Eilei ask the babies, too?" Hebe asked. "Because sometimes babies don't want to be with their Mamas and Papas anymore… well… maybe just the Mamas. Papa hasn't made Hebe hate him yet."

"Oh, Hebe, are you and Mama having a fight?" Eileithyia asked, lifting her sister into her arms and looking into her eyes. "You can tell me all about it."

"Mama isn't giving Hebe cuddles after Hebe had nap-nap time." Hebe began. "Now Hebe hates- Oh, Eilei? Hebe wants to know what clammerhea is because Hebe and Papa and Ares and Thalia were playing doctor and Hebe was Doctor Hebe and Ares has clammerhea but Hebe doesn't know what it is-"

"Is it a big girl science word?" Eileithyia asked, glancing nervously at her brother, who nodded quickly with a smirk on his face, proud of the chaos he had caused. Hebe nodded.

"Thalia says Hebe needs to get more temperature before Hebe can know what it means, but Hebe likes the temperature Hebe is and Eilei might know." She explained.

"A degree isn't like degrees in temperature, Hebe…" Thalia began, coughing at the end of her sentence as Hera placed a sandwich in front of her. Eileithyia, who hadn't noticed Thalia's presence, looked at her with wide eyes before she slid Hebe into a chair and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Eileithyia." She began, rather awkwardly, trying to pry Hebe off her shirt. "I'm the goddess of childbirth and midwifery, protector of babies and whatnot- Hebe, please stop clinging to me!"

"Hebe, let your sister relax and eat her lunch." Hera chided, throwing on another sandwich. "She's had a very long day at the hospital with the same long work hours Hephaestus has, so we need to give her some time to herself."

"But birthing stuff isn't that hard!" Hebe whined, folding her arms and huffing in her seat as Eileithyia took her own seat beside her father. "All you have to do is drive a car, and that's less hard than riding a tricycle!" Ares leaned into Thalia before she could ask and set their sister off the edge.

"She thinks baby delivery means getting babies from a baby factory and putting them in a truck to be delivered to their parents, and pregnancy is an illusion caused by magic shampoo."

"That's wrong!" Hebe yelled, glaring at her older brother.

"Hebe, use your inside voice, please." Hera warned, causing her daughter's face to turn a violent shade of red.

"Hebe doesn't have to listen to Mama if Mama doesn't listen to Hebe!" She snapped, sticking her tongue out to Hera before she explained for the billionth time how having babies works to her brother and the newly enlightened Thalia. "When a Mama and Papa want to have a baby, they pee in a jar and Hermie sends the jar to the baby factory, where Hephie uses the pees and science to make babies. Then, Hermie gives the Mama and Papa magic shampoo for the Mama that makes her tummy get bigger every time she uses it so no one will find out about the baby factory and sneak in and steal babies. When the baby comes, the Mama pretends to hurt because Hermie paid them to act that way to fool everyone, and the magic medicine they use to stop the Mama's pain is memory wipe so she doesn't remember anything but what Hephie wants her to. Eilei just drives the baby truck and drops off babies at hospitals." Thalia blinked as Hebe stared at her and Ares intensely. "Any questions? Didn't think so."

"Hebe, watch what you say, honey, or there might be a time out for you." Hera warned, flicking off the stove as she finished her last sandwich and sat beside her husband at the table. "Look! Mama's all done making lunch, so now we can cuddle for a bit, alright, Hebe?"

"No!" Hebe pouted, crossing her arms and putting on a pouty face. "Hebe doesn't wanna anymore. And Mama always says girls who go in the time out chair don't get hugs!"

"Hebe, Mama's not sending you to the time out chair."

"Hebe knows. Hebe is sending Mama to the time out chair." Hera pretended to look hurt.

"Just sit back and enjoy the show." Ares whispered to Thalia, who nearly jumped out of her seat.

"But, Hebe, why am I going in the time out chair?" Hera asked. Hebe stared her mother down as she answered, her lip trembling as she tried to stay together despite the look Hera was giving her.

"Because Mama didn't follow the rules and cuddled Hebe... and now Mama needs to know what it's like not being loved!" Hebe yelled before she shoved her face into her blanket and hid.

"Well, if my daughter doesn't love me, I'll have to get a new one." Hera said, sounding very upset, but her expression showed otherwise as she calmly turned to Thalia. "Thalia, dear, how would you and Jason like to be my new son and daughter? I'm afraid I've lost one of my daughters, and you can have her old room and Jason can have her old toy room-"

"No!" Hebe wailed, jumping from her seat and running around the table to Hera. "No, Mama, no! Hebe wants to stay! Thalia isn't good enough to replace Hebe! Please, Mama!" Hera lifted her sobbing daughter into her arms and held her close in a hug. "Hebe doesn't want to be sent away or lose Hebe's room and toys and Mama and Papa-"

"Shh… Mama's never going to do that to you, Hebe! You're my baby…" Hera said, softly, rubbing her back as the table sighed in relief. Maybe now, they could have a normal lunch. "Mama's sorry she couldn't cuddle you earlier, but we can cuddle now all you want, alright?" Hebe nodded and hid her head in Hera's shoulder.

"Papa will never send you away or replace you or stop loving you, Hebe." Zeus began, patting his daughter on the head. "But you need to respect and be kind to your mother, alright? Some people don't have Mamas like you do, so you need to make the most of the time you spend together with her." Hebe peeked out from her spot on Hera's shoulder and stared wide eyed at her father.

"What does Papa mean that some people don't have Mamas?" she asked, afraid.

"Some people's Mamas and Papas died or had to give their children to someone else." Zeus explained. "It's a bit too sad for a little girl like you right now, isn't it?"

"How do people not have Mamas and Papas..?" Hebe asked, softly, horrified by this fact.

"You know what I think, Hebe?" Thalia began, clearing her throat as the little goddess turned her way. "I think who you call your Mama or Papa doesn't depend on your birth, but by who you love and who raised you. My Mama died when I was a little girl, but she wasn't a very nice person all the time. Now that I'm friends with Artemis, she's always really nice to me and looks after me and all the other hunters, so we all think of her as our other Mama."

"Papa!" Hebe exclaimed, grabbing her father's arm and staring up at him with the saddest look her five year-old body could muster. "Please give Thalia and Jason a new Mama! Please!"

"Hebe, what are you saying?" Hera asked.

"Hebe's sad because Thalia and Jason's Mama died!" Hebe cried. "Give them a new Mama, Papa! Hebe wants you to!"

"Hebe, Papa can't just do that." Zeus began, patting her head again. "Remember how Mama and Papa said we'd never replace Hebe? It's hard to replace one Mama for another or get a new one."

"And I don't want a new Mama, Hebe." Thalia added. "Jason and I are happy just being with our friends and the Hunters of Artemis are my new family now and-"

"Papa, if you don't give Thalia and Jason a new Mama right now, Hebe is going to run away!" Hebe yelled, glaring at her father. Zeus sighed and gave her a sad look.

"I'm sorry, Hebe, but there's no way Papa can do that." Hebe didn't say a word as she slid from her mother's arms to the floor, ran out of the kitchen and slammed the front door shut. Hera sighed and rose from her seat.

"I'll call Mother and let her know she's on her way." She began. "Thalia, would you like some of the medicine Apollo brought? In case it is strep throat, we should treat it before you get another fever."

"Yes, thank you, Lady Hera."

"Thalia, I am very sorry for Hebe." Zeus said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "She isn't always like this, only for the majority of the year."

"You said something earlier about her being like this when she's pregnant?" Eileithyia held up her hand as she finished chewing her sandwich before she answered Thalia's question.

"For some reason, Hebe turns into a five year-old when the real Hebe is pregnant with a demigod child." She explained. "We don't really know why, and neither of them remembers the pregnancy ever happening, so I guess it's her way of protecting her innocence as the youth goddess by spending time in two forms that correspond to the two definitions of youth; childhood and young adults."

"That was a lot less complicated than I thought it would be." Thalia replied, not really knowing what to say next. Her head had been pounded by phrase after phrase from Hebe's kid-logic, and now she was the one who could use a nap. She was amazed Jason was still asleep through it all, especially when Hebe came barrelling into the house and tumbled her way into the kitchen after a few minutes of awkward godly silence as they ate their lunch and listened to Hera call Rhea.

"Welcome home, baby!" Hera chimed, smiling at her daughter, who was doing her best impersonation of someone dying. Hebe looked at her mother with desperate eyes.

"Si… sippy-cup!" she wheezed, falling to the ground with her hand held in the air, blocking the lights on the ceiling from her vision. "Hebe doesn't have much time…"

"You're doing it wrong, squirt." Ares chided, staring at his sister from over the table. "Go down with every last fighting breath, not like a wuss-"

"Ares, we do not use those words. Go to the time out corner." Ares flipped Hera a very rude gesture Thalia was glad Hebe didn't see as Hera brought Hebe a cup full of water and helped her sit up and take a few sips, panting heavily.

"Papa…" she began, staring dramatically at Zeus. "This is Hebe's dying breath… so… Papa needs to take Hebe's dying breath and make a Mama for Thalia and Jason… And Papa had better because Hebe only gets one dying breath… And Hebe doesn't want to waste it…" Zeus sighed and groaned.

"Hebe, Papa already told you. I can't do that." Hebe fell backwards to the floor as Hera tried to keep her sitting up, coughing and wheezing dramatically. Thalia turned her gaze to the table. Eileithyia looked like she was in pain, embarrassed and tired of her little sister being pregnant while Ares leaned back and enjoyed the show.

"Hebe, stop doing that, you'll make yourself pass out-" Hera began, trying to calm Hebe, who was still pretending to die.

"Good bye, Mama… Hebe will always remember you and say hi to Auntie Persephone and Unca Hades for you-" Hebe began coughing loudly and hard as she forced herself to sit up. "This is real-" she managed, before trying to take a sip of water, but spitting it back into the cup as her coughing wouldn't stop. Hera, to put it simply, lost her mind.

"Ares, help me pin your sister down! Eileithyia! Get me a Q-Tip and a jar! Zeus, call Athena and tell her to get ready to analyze for strep throat! Thalia! Why don't you go take a shower, honey?"

"Gladly." Of course, Thalia had to obey. Hera was pinning her own daughter to the ground and was about to shove a cotton swab down Hebe's throat, and now she had just called one of the people she is supposed to hate and called dibs on killing 'honey'. As she left the room, she heard the screams of protest echo down the hall and Ares and Hera having a serious mother-son conversation about what might happen if Hebe saw him giving someone the middle finger.

Jason had the pleasure of waking up to this mess, and he stumbled half-asleep into the hall when the screaming had stopped to find Hebe sitting in a corner of the hall outside his room, curled up in a little ball on the floor, crying. She didn't take notice to him as he stepped over to her and patted her head.

"What's wrong, Hebe? Did someone say something mean to you?" he asked. Hebe looked up with a scowl on her face.

"It's even worser than that… Someone did something mean to Hebe…"

"Can you tell me what happened?" Jason asked, sitting beside her. He'd had his practise with the younger campers at Camp Jupiter when he would find them crying alone in supply closets or hiding under beds. Hebe scooted closer to him but refused to come out from her knees she held close to her face.

"Hebe wants to give you and Thalia a new Mama but Papa wouldn't do it so Hebe got mad and ran away, but then Hebe got tired of running and came back and Hebe tried to make Papa give you and Thalia a new Mama with Hebe's dying breath but Hebe was only pretending and then Hebe's dying breath really did happen and Mama and Ares and Eilei kept Hebe on the ground and Mama tried to make Hebe eat a Q-Tip and it hurt… now Hebe hates Papa and Mama again!"

"Sounds like you had a hard day. Can I do anything that will make you feel better?" Hebe sniffled and wiped her tears with her blanket.

"Adopt Hebe." Jason pursed his lips. Now, he had entered the temper tantrum mine field.

"What do you mean, Hebe? You already have a mom and dad here, so why do you want me to adopt you?"

"Not just you; you and Thalia need to get married and adopt Hebe!" Jason blinked. Hebe, waiting for a response, had invited herself onto his lap and sat patiently as she sucked her thumb and cuddled with her blanket. Jason, finally, had the courage to ask.

"Can you explain why we need to get married an adopt you?" he asked, trying to keep a clueless, innocent tone in his scratched voice. "I know it's okay for godly siblings to get married, but mortal-"

"That's okay. Hebe's Mama and Papa broke the rules, too, cuz Nina didn't want them to get married but they did anyway."

"Nina?"

"Hebe's grammie."

"Lady Rhea?"

"You mortals are so stupid." Hebe huffed, as she began to explain the concept of marriage and adoption. She was on an enlightenment roll today. "Hebe's Mama and Papa are siblings, and Mama is older than Papa, and they got married and adopted Hebe when they found Hebe in a peacock egg abandoned on their doorstep. Because you and Thalia are siblings and Thalia is older than you and she's a girl just like Mama and Mama was older than Papa and he's a boy just like you, you need to get married and adopt Hebe so it's the same."

"Hebe, I don't think Thalia and I can get married." Jason decided to ignore everything but the request he and Thalia be wed. "Thalia made a promise to Artemis that she would never fall in love or get married, and I know that Thalia doesn't want to break that promise."

"Why? Isn't having Hebe better than having Artie?"

"Well… I suppose… Thalia would want to have both of you, but she can't because of her promise. If she gets married, Artemis will hate her and Thalia won't like that because… because…" Jason had to think for a moment, which was hard to do with a five year-old seated in your lap, glaring intensely at you. "Because she doesn't have any friends." Hebe promptly hopped off Jason's lap and began to march down the hall. "Where are you going, Hebe?" he called after her. His voice sounded like the voices the older campers used to tell stories about the Furies at Camp Jupiter. "Do you feel better?"

"Hebe is running away again, but this time, Hebe is walking." Hebe proclaimed, turning back to him. "Hebe is going to a place where everything is not sad."

* * *

 **Kid-Logic is a fantastic thing and surprisingly I didn't have too much trouble giving Hebe crazy reasons to believe crazy things! Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we will see significantly less of the Hebster!**

 **Remember to do that thing where you talk about my writing and get updates on my story and get updates on me! Here's a preview for the next chapter, which is probably already up by the time you finish reading this!**

 ** _"Now then_** _ **, I have already searched the bathroom connected to Zeus' and my room, our bedroom, the hallway and had a friendly interrogation with Jason to see if he did or did not take my ring. He did not, unfortunately, which means I do not get to kill him."**_


	9. Eileithyia's Weasel Nightmare

**Part two of the big Olympian Sniffles update has begun!**

 **This chapter was actually reworked several times until I found something I could use as a plot... so I used one of my old favorites involving my favorite goddess of heaven and her wacky messed up family! I did enjoy writing it, half because of the way it ended, half because I like Ares' sense of humor. Trust me, it'll come back in later chapters after he's done his course!**

 **Minor corssover with Kane Chronicles and Magnus Chase... sorta. Thennie and I have always imagined certain groups of gods who share a domain or duty having meetings sometimes, or in our case, a tea party for the queens/marriage goddesses who probably don't get along!**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **If Rick's Hera lost her wedding ring, there would be a full-blown godly war over who took it. Because I'm Canadian, Hera knows to look around the house first before giving Ares permission to play with guns. Therefore, I don't own anything!**

* * *

Jason was taking a shower later that evening when there was a knock on the door.

"It's me." Ares called, and Jason heard the door shut behind him. "Just taking a piss."

"Sure." And that was awkward. Finally, after a few seconds of silence and Jason trying to scrub the idea of what the war god looked like while he relieved himself out of his head, Ares spoke up.

"So, Aphrodite tells me you're dating her daughter, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, Piper." Ares snickered. "What?"

"Nothing, just thought of a dirty joke I'll tell you when you're of age. Anyway, as a vet' in dating Aphrodite, I'm going to give you some tips if you want to keep piping those pipes."

"That joke you thought of is the other way around from that last one, isn't it?" Ares whooped excitedly.

"You're Zeus' son, alright! Yeah, I think we're on the same page, right?"

"I wish I wasn't." There was a second knock on the door.

"Ares, be quiet! Hebe's home now and asleep! If you don't want your mother to kill you… What are you doing in Jason's bathroom?" It was Zeus.

"Taking a piss and talking about girls. Ma's acting weird in the other one, so I had to come in here or pee in backyard, and you told me not to do that anymore." Zeus sighed and shut the door.

"Is my bathroom the new council room or something?" Jason asked.

"We used to all bathe together in a huge, steaming bathtub and throw random wet things at each other in the good old days, when manslaughter was an accepted pass-time." Ares explained. "I would suck it up if I were you, punk, otherwise I'll show you why Hermes always stuck at the opposite end of the tub. That kid knows I throw a mean loincloth-"

"Alright, boys, how about we talk about girls?" Zeus offered, sounding rather chipper about the subject. "I hope you were giving Jason proper dating advice, Ares, not about how… Use your imaginations."

"I don't want to sound rude, but are you two really the people I should be taking dating advice from?" Jason asked, wiping his face behind the curtains. "I mean, Zeus has the record for the most women ever slept with and Ares is still a bachelor who is dating the love goddess by cheating her husband-"

"The record for most women goes to your uncle, Jason." Zeus said. "But I'm still king of the immortals."

"We take pride in our sex lives, kid." Ares stated. "You mortals may think it makes people look like total arses, but we're the immortals and we can do whoever and whatever we want and it'll be in all the mythology text books. It's kinda like social media, actually-" Jason didn't have time to process what happened next. Suddenly, the shower curtain was ripped away and the curtain pole was held against Jason's neck as he was pinned to the shower wall, face to face with his very angry step-mother.

"Where. Is. It." Hera hissed, pushing the metal pole tighter against his neck. Jason tried to swallow, but it was hard to breathe and speak with the showerhead still spraying them with water. "Answer me!" she yelled. Jason heard what he could have sworn was metal being crushed, but he couldn't turn his head to see if Hera had indeed crushed the pole in her bare hands. Zeus stepped in and turned off the water, putting his hands on Hera's shoulders.

"Hera, put the pole down and let Jason go. You need to use your words when you're angry, remember?" Hera exhaled angrily and took the pole from his neck, still glaring at Jason. He grabbed the shower curtain before she could throw it.

"Lady Hera, I'm naked. I kinda need this." Hera didn't say a word, ripping part of the curtain off, thrusting it against his chest and launching the pole against the bathroom wall, where it made a large, satisfying indentation before it clattered to the ground.

"Hera, honey, Hebe's sleeping." Zeus managed, trying to put his hand on her shoulder again. Hera slapped him and huffed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, which proceeded to fall off its hinges.

"I think Ma's on her you-know-what." Ares whispered, pulling up his fly. Zeus rubbed the side of his face in pain.

"No, that's what she's normally like. I grew this beard to hide the occasional attitude… Ares, I think she did her nails. Am I bleeding?"

"Nah, you're good." Ares looked toward Jason, chuckling at the pathetically small piece of cloth he was holding over his lower regions. "You alright, punk?"

"Yeah. I'll be alright." Jason sneezed. He hadn't realized he was shivering or that his cold symptoms had started to return.

"You should be alright. You're lucky Ma didn't throw you against the wall." Ares replied, lifting the door from the ground. "She always said spankings were too polite… and she had a point!" And he was gone. Zeus and Jason exchanged awkward father-son eye contact.

"Just grin and bear it, right?" he asked. Zeus nodded and brushed the debris from the wall aside with his foot.

"I'll go call Hestia, and when you're done, please join us in the living room. I have a feeling Hera won't take too kindly if you don't." Jason gulped and sneezed, turning the shower back on, using the door Zeus had let him borrow as a curtain.

Thalia had a much more pleasant approach to Hera's rage, in which Eileithyia came to her room with a cup of tea to deliver a death threat from Hera if she didn't join them in the living room. Of course, Eileithyia informed her that she had gotten a threat from her mother, too, and the tea was to keep them calm while Hera used her words to explain the problem.

"I was about to get in the shower when the doorbell rang." Hera began, standing at the head of the ring of couches and chairs that lined the coffee table. Thalia, Jason, Zeus, Ares and Eileithyia were all present. "I had to get dressed before I joined Zeus at the door to get Hebe from Mother Rhea, after which I took her to bed and stayed with her until she'd fallen asleep. This was about forty minutes ago." Hera was eying everyone in the seats in front of her with a murderous glare, looking back and forth between them like some evil cartoon villain who would start pacing any moment. Thalia could feel Eileithyia shaking beside her; both girls were on their third cup of tea. "When I got back, I took my shower, but when I went to put on my wedding ring, it was gone. The mug I keep it in when I'm in the bathroom was still there, but my ring is missing, and I want to know which one of you thinks it's funny to take my most prized possession away from me knowing that it will destroy the world."

"What?!" Jason yelled as Thalia spat out her tea. Was Hera's wedding ring really that important?

"She's only exaggerating." Zeus sighed, pulling his wife down beside him on the couch. "But if Hera loses her ring for too long, there could be trouble. As the marriage goddess, and queen of the gods, it's a very prominent symbol and display of her power. If she lost it, other gods may begin to loose trust in her or begin to look down upon her, and that could lead to the entire Olympian Council being disrespected and another war starting…"

"Dad could also realize this is his chance for freedom and bang a few women every night until they find the ring." Ares offered. Eileithyia smacked him.

"There's no way Father would ever do that! You wouldn't, right?" Zeus chuckled under his breath and put his arm around Hera.

"Until we find that ring, I'm Hera's loyal husband. You don't have to be worried about the other girls looking down on you, Hera."

"But I do!" Hera whined, pouting at him. "If that stupid Isis finds out that I've lost my wedding ring, she'll ridicule me in front of all the other marriage goddesses at our monthly tea party, and Frigg and I just got over our fight about the cake she made, and they'll kick me out for being an unloyal wife-"

"You aren't unloyal, Hera!" Zeus exclaimed as Hera hid her face in her hands and began sobbing. "Losing your wedding ring could happen to anyone! If anyone is unloyal, it's Isis! Remember? You told me all about it last week when you ripped apart the couch with your bare hands. She let her husband die and resurrected him only so they could have sex, and I'm still alive, and I know that if you resurrected me, it wouldn't be for sex. That's my job." Hera looked up at him with tears running down her face.

"Do you really mean that?" she asked, her voice soft. Zeus nodded and patted her head.

"I do. Now, where do you think your ring could be and why do you think someone here might have taken it?" As Hera listed off a dozen or so reasons, Jason turned to Thalia and Eileithyia.

"Is Hera fighting a terrorist group?" he asked, under his breath. Eileithyia shook her head.

"Unfortunately not, or we would have won already. Isis is the goddess of marriage in the Egyptian pantheon, and she's also considered the queen, like our mother, although she technically isn't." She waved Jason off before he could ask for clarification, indicating it was something he would have to research on his own time. "Bottom line is they hate each other and have constant, pointless arguments over who has the better war god for a son, who had the best civilization, who had the worst grandfather, who's the most paranoid… you get the idea." Eileithyia lifted the tea pot, but found it empty. "One second, I'll go make more-"

"No one is leaving this room until we decide how we're going to find my ring, young lady." Hera snapped. Eileithyia trembled and shot back down into her seat. "Now, then." Hera cleared her throat. "I have already searched the bathroom connected to Zeus' and my room, our bedroom, the hallway and had a friendly interrogation with Jason if he did or did not take my ring. He did not, unfortunately, which means I do not get to kill him."

"What happened to the peaceful agreement we made this morning?" Thalia asked, furrowing her brow. Hera sat up, regally.

"Are you in my house, child?"

"Yes."

"That means I make the rules and I will change the rules whenever I want. Do you know why?"

"Because you're the queen?" Hera smiled a little.

"You aren't as hateful as I thought you were. Now, then." She exhaled calmly, trying not to lose what little temper she had left. "Zeus and I are going to look in the kitchen and this room, and you four can look wherever else you can think of; your rooms, under counters, use metal detectors, I don't care as long as this house doesn't get torn to pieces because if you don't find that ring, I need something to tear apart." Hera turned her glare specifically to Ares. "And if you wake your baby sister, there will be Hades to pay, understood?" Ares shrugged in reply.

"That's alright. I owe that punk some cash anyway. Come on, kids!" Ares grabbed Thalia and Jason by their wrists and pulled them with him down the hall. "We've got a Ma to keep emotionally stable, no matter how broken she already is!"

"I'll make sure they don't get into too much trouble, Mum…" Eileithyia managed, quivering a little at the sight of how red her mother's face had become as she followed her siblings down the hall.

"There's only one logical place that ring could be, and like it or not, we've got to wake up the shrimp so we can search her room." Ares said, opening the door to Hebe room. Eileithyia grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

"Are you crazy?" she whispered, glaring at him. "If we wake Hebe up, she'll start crying and Mum will lose her mind!"

"There isn't enough light in the room to look properly anyway." Jason added, peeking in at the nightlight on the nightstand beside Hebe's bed. "And if Hera put Hebe to bed, then the ring would probably be in the bed with Hebe somewhere in the sheets."

"And Hebe is a very light sleeper, Ares. You know that. If one of us goes in there and starts walking around and lifting things, she's bound to wake up and be scared of whatever-" Eileithyia was cut off when Ares threw his hand over her mouth and lifted her by her stomach, where he carried her into a nearby room. Thalia reached into her pocket and pulled out a little whistle.

"Lady Artemis was right." She began, lifting it to her lips, but Jason grabbed it before she could alert the entire pantheon that more godly incest was going down in the next room over.

"You'll wake Hebe!" he whispered, taking a quick glance over his shoulder at the little goddess, who rolled over in her sleep and mumbled something.

"Not with this." Ares said, stepping out of the room with something fuzzy in his hands. "Say hello to Eileithyia's sacred animal, also known as what happens when you tickle her." The Siberian weasel in Ares' hands bit his finger and spat on his wrist.

"Screw you, Ares." It said, hissing at him.

"Is that… Eileithyia?" Thalia asked. The weasel nodded.

"This is also how we're going to search Hebe's room for the ring." Ares explained, petting his sister's head with one finger while he restrained her with the other. "She's small enough to go unseen and not make any noise, and weasels have that night vision thing so she'll see better in the dark."

"Hey, that's a pretty good idea!" Jason exclaimed. "Eileithyia, why don't you turn all of us into weasels?"

"Are you serious?!" Jason had to slam his hand over Thalia's mouth to muffle her yelling. They all looked over their shoulders. Hebe was still asleep. Thalia shoved Jason's hand away and wiped around her mouth. "Why would you even suggest something like that?"

"So Hera doesn't do anything to you, too. Think about it. We could all see in the dark and cover more searching area."

"Punk's got a point." Ares added. "Turn them into rats, Eilei. I'll take care of myself.

"Oh, I'd gladly turn you into a rat, brother dearest." Eileithyia snarled. Instantly, Jason and Thalia felt their stomach's fall in their chests, like gravity was pulling them down into a pit. When the sensation stopped, both of them had become weasels. Jason fell over, not used to having four legs. Thalia, meanwhile, was chasing her tail excitedly and making adorable little squeaking noises. Ares fidgeted with his sister in his hands.

"I think the best place for you to start looking is the bed." He began, opening the door a little further with his foot. "I'll give you three a signal to come out if there's any trouble."

"Yes, and how am I supposed to get on the bed? I might turn into a weasel sometimes, but I not good enough to climb-" Ares tossed his sister into the air, sending her flying into Hebe's room and landing on her bed. Unfortunately, Eileithyia stuck her landing, in weasel form, on her little sister's chest. Hebe rolled over and moaned as Eileithyia darted aside to avoid being crushed, murmuring in her sleep. "Oh no… Hebe, it's alright, just go back to sleep…" Eileithyia whispered, scampering up Hebe's pillow. "There's nothing to worry about… come on… shh… You're just having a funny dream, that's all… yeah, just a dream…" Hebe, however, rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times, her eyes half open with exhaustion as she examined the weasel that sat on her pillow, right in front of her face. As soon as Hebe woke up enough to realize what was happening, her eyes grew wide and filled with tears as she sat up and backed away, holding her blanket close to her.

"Hebe, it's alright!" Eileithyia began, taking a few steps back herself and scanning the area for a pillow or stuffed toy that Hebe could possibly hammer her with. "It's me! Eileithyia!"

"Eilei..?" Hebe asked, her lip trembling. "But… but why are you a mouse, Eilei?"

"I'm a weasel, but don't worry, I'm still Eileithyia, so there's no need to cry, alright, kiddo?"

"Why's Eilei a weasel?" Hebe asked, coming a little closer, curious. "Is Hebe having a dream? That's what you said, right, Eilei?" Eileithyia said some words Hera would not approve of in her head. What was she supposed to do now? She had to keep Hebe occupied so she didn't notice the others in the room, and she couldn't start crying either…

"Well, actually, Mama turned me into a weasel." Eileithyia began. Hebe's eyes grew wide.

"Was Eilei a really bad girl? Sometimes, Mama says if Hebe is a really bad girl, Hebe will get turned into a cow-"

"Shh!" Eileithyia whispered, climbing off the pillow into her sister's lap, who giggled and reached down to pat her. "You don't want Mama to find out that I sent this weasel to get help!"

"Is Eilei in a lot of trouble?" Hebe whispered, now listening intently.

"That's right! I got turned into a weasel, so I sent this magic messenger weasel to you for help!" Eileithyia explained, being a little overdramatic, but it was enough to get her baby sister to pay attention for a few minutes. "She also turned Jason, Thalia and Ares into weasels- well, she turned Ares into a rat, and locked us in a cage! Mama lost her wedding ring and she thinks one of us stole it, and we keep telling her we didn't, but she doesn't believe us and was so angry she did this to us! Can you believe it?" Hebe's eyes filled with tears again as she sniffled.

"Mama loseded her ring?" she asked, softly.

"She took a shower after she put you to bed, but after she got out, the ring was gone! She's really upset, Hebe, so… Do you think you could take a look around your room to see if she might have dropped… Hebe? What's wrong?" Hebe put her blanket over her head and held onto it tightly on either end. Eileithyia's heart rate quickened. This was a bad sign.

"Do… do you think Mama will turn Hebe into a weasel, too?" she managed, her voice shaking. "Because Mama was mad at Hebe for running away… and for calling her a meanie poopy face… and Hebe is a bad girl!" Hebe started sobbing quietly under her blanket.

"Hebe, it's alright! Mama wouldn't be really really mad about that, right?" Eileithyia began, sticking her head under the blanket to she could see her sister. "I bet that if you looked for Mama's ring and found it, she'd be so happy that she wouldn't be mad at you for a really long time!" Hebe shook her head and whined. "Come on! Please, Hebe? Don't you ever want me and Ares and Jason and Thalia to turn back? If I never turn back to normal, we can't do more coloring books together and Ares can't give you leg rides and Thalia and Jason will… will never get the Mama you want them to have!" Hebe's eyes grew wide as she lifted the blanket off her head.

"Really?" she whispered, wiping her eyes. Eileithyia nodded. "Okay. Hebe will… Hebe will look around Hebe's room…" Eileithyia jumped off her sister's lap as she scooted to the edge of the bed.

"That could have been a disaster…" she said to herself, looking around to find a way to get off the bed.

Luckily, she didn't have to. Hebe's sudden scream kicked her animal instinct into high gear, sending Eileithyia jumping higher than she thought possible into the air off the other side of the bed, crashing to the floor and scampering under the bed, all while Hebe jumped back into bed and began screaming even louder for Zeus. Eileithyia was soon joined by Jason and Thalia as the three of them huddled together, all their furs standing on end as Hebe screamed for Zeus to smite the weasels.

"What happened?" Eileithyia asked, softly.

"We were waiting for you by the bed and Hebe stepped on Jason." Thalia explained, debating whether or not it would be appropriate to nuzzle her fuzzy brother while he was recovering from shock. Their tension only increased as they heard the door open and a pair of footsteps running over to the bed.

"Papa!" Hebe cried, hitting herself on the side of the head repeatedly. "Papa! Help! Hebe has to wake up-"

"Hebe, we're right here. Papa's got you, see?" Zeus said as he sat on the side of the bed beside his daughter, who quickly climbed into his lap and hid her face in his shoulder, sobbing.

"Hebe, what's wrong-" Hera began, putting her hand on her shoulder, but Hebe screamed again and violently shrugged her hand off, shaking.

"Did you have a bad dream, Hebe?" Zeus asked, rubbing her back. Hebe nodded and looked up at him.

"But it wasn't a dream, Papa! Because Hebe stepped on a weasel! Smite the weasels, Papa! Make them go away forever!"

"Shh… come on, calm down. Can you tell us what happened?" Hera asked, sitting beside them on the bed. "Everything is going to be alright, baby." Hebe backed away from her mother and held herself closer to Zeus.

"Mama's… Mama's not going to turn Hebe into a weasel?" she asked, softly.

"Why would Mama ever do a thing like that?" Hera asked, smiling. "I promise I will never, ever turn you into anything, Hebe! I love you just the way you are now!"

"Talk about someone only a mother could love…" Jason whispered to Thalia as they hid under the bed, huddled up beside Eileithyia behind a shoe box. Hebe sniffled as Hera handed her the blanket.

"Even though Mama's really, really, really mad?" she sniffled as Zeus patted her head. Hera furrowed her brow.

"Why would Mama be mad at you?" Hebe's eyes swelled up with tears.

"Because… Mama… Hebe…" She threw her blanket over her head and began bawling as Hera took her and set her in her lap.

"Hebe, Mama's not mad at you…" she began, hugging her daughter. "Everybody has bad days and we feel angry or sad about them sometimes. It's okay to be upset about something that happened today; Mama forgives you and loves you very much, Hebe."

"But… Mama's gonna hate Hebe now…"

"Why? Why would I ever hate the best little girl in the whole universe?" Hebe climbed off her mother's lap and scooted to her pillow, reaching into the pillow case and pulling something out in her hand.

"Because Hebe… Hebe was a really bad girl…" she managed, softly, as she opened her hand. Hera gasped as Hebe looked away, guiltily.

"Hebe, why did you take your mother's ring?!" Zeus yelled, angrily. "Do you have any idea what-"

"Zeus, stop." Hera cut in, quietly, as she took the ring from Hebe's trembling hand and pulled her daughter beside her. "Hebe… why did you take my ring and hide it?"

"Because… Because Hebe hated Mama today… and Hebe really didn't like hating Mama…" she began, quietly, avoiding Hera's eyes and clutching her blanket as if the world depended on it. "Hebe thought Mama hated Hebe now because Hebe said Hebe hated Mama… and Hebe didn't like it… so Hebe took Mama's ring while Mama was in the shower because Hebe wanted Mama… wanted Mama to feel what it felt like to lose something Mama loves a lot… just like when Hebe had to lose Mama…" Hebe cried quietly as Hera pulled her into a hug.

"Hebe, Mama will never, ever hate you or want you to go away." She began, calmly. "Mama's upset that you took my ring, but I'm glad you were a brave girl and gave it back to Mama before I found it on my own."

"Is Mama angry?" Hera nodded.

"I'm angry, but not angry enough to hate you forever. I hope I never get that angry, too." Hebe stared at her lap.

"Hebe's sorry…"

"And I'm sorry, too, Hebe. I'm sorry I made you so mad you ran away and hated me, but I'm so glad you came back because Mama and Papa and Ares and Eileithyia all love you very much." Hera said, fixing Hebe's pillow and pulling the covers over Hebe as she lay down. "Do you think we can be friends again?" Hebe nodded as Hera wiped the tears from her face and tucked her in.

"Will Mama sleep with Hebe tonight?"

"Of course Mama will, baby." Zeus felt something cling to his pants as Hera climbed into the bed with Hebe. He looked down and found the answer to the question he was about to ask Hebe.

"Good night, Hebe, Hera." He sighed, walking slowly toward the door with three weasels he was about to punish stuck to his ankle. "Have a good sleep."

"This was Ares' idea." Eileithyia called, once they were far enough down the hall to avoid being heard from Hebe's room.

"Don't worry, dear. I suspected him all along. Oh, and Jason, Thalia. Don't tell Chiron and Artemis about this. I'm not in the mood to be nagged for a century."

* * *

 **Ares probably had to do the dishes for a week while being nagged by his Ma. Probably.**

 **Review, Follow, Favorite and Fangirl! Here's a preview for the next chapter which is actually more serious than these last couple have been!**

 _ **"I remember watching when you thought I wasn't awake. And I remember you telling me I had to be strong, that giving in to others wasn't the answer, that I had to fight for myself and for Jason until he could, too. I was glad when you left, though. It meant mom didn't recieve happiness she didn't deserve."**_


	10. Bedtime with Zeus

**_Olympian Sniffles_ update part 3 takes a serious turn for a change!**

 **I always found the relationship between Thalia, Jason and their mother interesting, but this chapter proved very challenging to write because, unlike most of the other gods and their partners, I don't believe Zeus can look back on his relationship with Beryl as a good memory. Even though Jason never really knew her, Thalia could be dug into, and I did enjoy and find it interesting to write this chapter on a more serious note like I had previously done in Poseidon's arc.**

 **There will be more serious moments coming up in the Underworld, which I am very much looking forward to writing!**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **Honestly why do we have to keep writing these... if I were a child of Athena like Thennie I wouldn't run out... or Uncle Rick. There you go!**

* * *

"... And so, Mister Herakles married a beautiful goddess, and together they had two sons, and they lived happily ever after." Eileithyia shut the book as Hera lifted Hebe from her older sister's lap.

"Thank you, Eileithyia." Hera whispered, before carrying Hebe off to bed.

"I'm so glad she's always out by the end." Ares began. "It saves a lot of questions about why Hebe married that show-off..."

"What surprises me is the fact that their marriage actually happened." Jason said, fiddling with his hot chocolate mug. "Hera hated Hercules, or Herakles, so why would she let him marry her?"

"It took a lot of apology letters, a few intoxicated glasses of nectar and the world's largest temper tantrum to pull it off." Eileithyia replied. "Hebe was the cup-bearer to the gods, and one night after Hercules became immortal, he was dining with us when he accidentally pushed his chair into her as she was walking around the table. Hebe fell over and her pitcher of nectar broke, but she wasn't hurt. When Hercules offered to help, she was so embarrassed that she ran out of the palace. The next night, though, Hercules was waiting for her in the kitchen and apologized for bumping into her, and for the rest of the evening, whenever she wasn't busy serving, they talked."

"That was also the first night we discovered Ma could be a good pitcher in the MLB." Ares added. "Hercules tried to take Hebe's hand once and bam! There was a grape-sized bruise on the side of his face, courtesy of Hera at the other end of the table."

"Did you ever have any children, Eileithyia?" Thalia asked, clearing her throat. The five of them sat in the living room on Thalia and Jason's last evening there, drinking hot chocolate and listening to Eileithyia read the most mythologically accurate version of Hercules they had heard in a while. Thalia and Eileithyia had become good friends over the course of the week and were now on a first name basis, which was nice for Thalia because adding Lady to Eileithyia only made her name longer to say. Eileithyia shook her head in response to her question.

"If you mean immortal children, no. My father kept me busy with work. Lots and lots of deliveries!" Zeus eyed his daughter in that way adults do when they both know something was said they know shouldn't have. "But, I do have demigod children every once in a while..."

"Speaking of baby making, I've got a date to head off to." Ares said, standing from the couch. "Any messages you punks want passed on to Aphrodite?"

"Wear protection!" Eileithyia stated. "I really am getting tired of going over there!"

"Protection turns us off."

"Ares, you heard your more-sexually-educated-than-she-should-be sister." Hera warned, coming back into the living room. "Wear protection."

"And tell Aphrodite to stop sending Hera nudes to forward to you when your inbox is full." Zeus added. "They make your mother jealous."

"Excuse me!" Hera gasped, glaring at her husband as Ares vanished. "I do not get jealous of Aphrodite!"

"Trojan War, baby. Trojan War." Zeus replied. Hera crossed her arms and scowled.

"You didn't even stand up for me…" she grumbled, looking away.

"At least I wasn't the one who chose another goddess in your place."

"Fine. Be that way." Hera waved her hand and vanished. Zeus sighed and rested his head in his hand.

"Is she really still upset about the Trojan War?" Thalia asked. Eileithyia nodded.

"I… I should probably go get some rest so I'm in good shape for tomorrow… good night, everyone!"

"Good night." Jason and Thalia replied in unison as Eileithyia left the room, leaving them alone with their father. They sat in silence, waiting for someone, anyone, to start talking. As far as Jason knew, he, his sister and their father had never had a conversation together before, much less knew anything about one another, apart from watching his children fight to the death from first class seating or reading myths that talked about what a player their dad was.

"I guess we go back tomorrow, huh?" Thalia began, starting their seemingly obligatory final conversation with Zeus off on an awkward note.

"I cannot stress how careful you two will have to be." Zeus began, his tone serious. "We have been lucky with the spread of the virus so far; only three of you have been affected. If you allow the virus to spread into a cabin containing more people, I worry about how rapidly it will spread and how many lives could potentially be at risk. As we have told you, it a disease passed on by physical contact from one body to another, and that includes the doctors who would be treating patients in their comas." He paused. "How did you get sick in the first place, anyway?" His children shuffled uncomfortably.

"Percy got it out of the blue, and you ordered the Hunters to stay within Camp Half-Blood until we're certain the Sniffles are gone." Thalia began.

"Camp Jupiter received a destress call from Camp Half-Blood from a young camper saying they were under attack, so I went ahead to inspect before we sent any troops. Only, they were fine." Jason continued. "I guess what happened was… I gave Thalia a hug after she apparently touched Percy at some point-"

"Oh, I hit him. Back pats. Then I hugged Jason." Zeus exhaled deeply in a somewhat subtle sigh.

"I can't blame you; you didn't know about it to begin with. I don't suppose Artemis told you much, either. We can blame this on your protectiveness of Jason."

"What do you mean?"

"When you were little, Jason, Thalia hardly let you out of her sight." Zeus explained, watching Thalia make a face he wasn't sure meant she was hiding a smile or grimacing from embarrassment. "She would sneak into your room in the night and sleep on the floor beside your crib, carry you everywhere, get mad if anyone so much as looked at you-"

"Okay, okay! We get it! I was overprotective!" Thalia yelled, her face flustered. "I had… I had good reason, though. I couldn't let… you know. Anyone would be protective of their siblings if-" She cleared her throat, meeting the eyes of her father and brother. "Sorry, I-"

"I understand, Thalia." Zeus interrupted. "I'm not criticizing you for your actions; rather, I'm proud. You were strong and acted accordingly when Jason left, and yes, your mother was wrong, she was broken and insecure, but that is not all she was. You remind me of who she was before everything fell apart. When we met, she was on her way from a studio late at night. I was in the area and heard someone screaming. Beryl was being threatened and cornered in an alley, trying to defend herself. I managed to get her out, and she insisted she did not need my help and would be fine, and I fought back to take her home and make sure she stayed safe. She still put up a fight, and I continued mine. Finally, her gratitude began to show, and she let me escort her back. The following night, I had returned to the studio to report the incident, only to find she was on her way as well. She offered me dinner as thanks for what I had done, and as we talked, she admitted she had felt scared and very glad I had showed up to help her. My stubbornness to help her sparked her ego and attention cravings, though it was her fault she let it grow to such… But I fought back against her demands, Thalia."

"I remember." She replied, softly. "I remember watching when you thought I wasn't awake. And I remember you telling me I had to be strong, that giving in to others wasn't the answer, that I had to fight for myself and for Jason until he could, too. I was glad when you left, though. It meant mom didn't receive happiness she didn't deserve."

"Are you saying you wanted her to suffer?" Thalia shook her head and met her father's eyes.

"No. I wanted to find a way to save her. I wanted the three of us to be happy. But she was too cruel. She never looked at us like we were her children, only prizes she'd won by being with you. I… I couldn't find a way to love her. She wouldn't let us be happy if she couldn't."

"Thalia." Jason took his sister's hand. "What matters now is we're together. She's gone and resting. She didn't win; you kept her from getting what was wrong. You kept her from me."

"Because you both fought for what you truly believed was right, as you continue to do." Zeus added. "You are stubborn, as am I, but you are much wiser, much more willing to spread that stubbornness to the cause of others. Your determination reminds me of your mother, but you have found strength she never could have grasped. Your values and desires clashed, but you never said that you would not stop trying to find a way to save her. I'm certain Athena will tell you that the greatest wisdom is understanding when one must accept defeat, and once more how one should chose to lay down their sword. I am sorry I could not be there for you when you suffered. As cruel as it sounds, however, you did not need me."

"I can tell you that I hate her…" Thalia began, staring at her lap. "But I can't feel that hatred. It's dead, I've left it behind me. Artemis is like a sister and mother, and Jason is alive… It feels so good to be looked at as a person, as another living being with choices, not a trophy. You know, I used to hate the fact I was turned into a pine tree." She laughed softly as her eyes met Zeus'. "I heard it was from pity, and given how much strength I had used from square one of my life, I felt pretty weird, like that was the first time you're really noticed what I had been doing. But now, I'm glad to be here. I'm glad I didn't die as who I was before, and that I had time to grow a little more."

"Papa?" They all jumped in their seats.

"Hebe, you know better than to sneak up on us like that!" Zeus chided, glaring at the small goddess behind Jason and Thalia's couch. Jason looked over the back on the couch, feeling his heart pounding against the cushions as he watched Hebe tiptoe slowly out from behind it, pressing a pad of drawing paper close to her chest with her arms. "Come here. Are you having trouble sleeping? I told you before; the weasels are all gone. Mama checked before you went to bed, didn't she?" Hebe nodded shyly and slowly put her drawing book on Zeus' lap and mumbled something before running out of the room.

"What was that about?" Thalia asked as Zeus opened Hebe's book.

"She's just being shy; she's probably sad you're both leaving tomorrow." He replied, turning the book toward them. "Look." Jason squinted.

"Is that supposed to be us?" he asked, staring at the waxy crayon drawing on the page before them. It showed seven people standing in a disorganized line with words printed above them in pencil. Jason could see Hebe hunched over her drawing gripping her pencil in a fist as she wrote Papa, Mama, Hedy, Airies, Ellie, Jaysin and Taleea.

"My family, + Jaysin + Taleea." Thalia chuckled. "That's cute."

"I assure you she's much more pleasant to be around when she isn't pregnant." Zeus began, folding the cover over Hebe's drawing. "I'm certain she'll try to visit you again after you leave. She likes having someone to show her little world to."

"I'll pass if I have to hear the names of all her stuffed animals again." Jason said, and caught himself thinking of what a field day Octavian would have had in Hebe's toy room.

* * *

 **And that's what happens when Hermie doesn't know how to end a chapter that was very emotionally charged! Send in the Hebe for a semi-final round of Hebeness!**

 **That wraps up Thalia and Jason's little adventure with Zeus and the family! I hope I don't run low on ideas for the next few gods who don't have immortal kids to work with... Luckily, I have the next section all planned out!**

 **Here's a preview for next time! Buckle your seat belts and get out your gold coins! We're headed straight for the Underworld to visit Uncle Hades and Auntie Sephie!**

 _ **"Do you have any Advil?"**_

 _ **"We do, in fact, have Advil, which you are taking from my medicine cabinet along with a dozen other bottles."**_


	11. Close to becoming diAngelos

**Fun fact of the day! I actually wrote this chapter before I wrote the last three! We are reaching the end of our update!**

 **This chapter did go through some heavy changes since last summer to match the tone of the rest of Zeus' arc of the story, but also because I realized Demeter would never give Persephone freedom during a time when a plague is sweeping the demigod world...**

 **Anyway, onto the chapter!**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **I doubt Rick will ever give us "Fun Auntie Sephie..." but I will! Therefore, logic! (Disclaimers... creativity is dead today...)**

* * *

The doorbell rang just as Hera finished pouring Hebe a cup of hot chocolate at the counter the night following Jason and Thalia's return to Camp Half-Blood. She sighed exhaustedly when she opened the door.

"Honey, the disease only affects demigods. Lose the mask and gloves." The figure pulled the industrial grade mask, which really appeared to be more of a helmet, from her head with a struggle, sending messy dark hair everywhere.

"Tell that to my mother." Persephone grumbled, pulling her rubber gloves off as she stepped inside. Hera gladly took the helmet from under her arm. "She told me the Olympian council did an 'absolutely dreadful report' on the 'virus of Hades' today and hasn't stopped scrubbing down the kitchen, or me for that matter. If I see another bottle of hand sanitizer I'm going to blow up a small country."

"I'm surprised she hasn't shoved you into an astronaut's suit yet." Hera replied, laughing a little at her sister's dramatics as they stepped inside to the kitchen.

"Hi, Auntie Sephey!" Hebe chimed, looking away from the fistful of marshmallows she was holding over her mug.

"Hebe, what has Mama told you about putting in the marshmallows yourself?" Hera asked, cautiously. Hebe's shoulders fell.

"To use a responsible amount…" she grumbled, dropping a few in and returning the rest of her fistful to the bag. Persephone sat beside her and reached into the bag herself.

"Good girl. Persephone, can I get you anything? That mask must have been smoldering hot."

"Something cold would be a life saver! Oh, and I brought the pomegranates, like always!" she replied, slipping a few extra marshmallows into Hebe's cub when Hera had turned away and winked. Hebe beamed and giggled as she ate them quickly with her spoon before Hera noticed what her "Fun Aunt Persephone" had done. "So, where's Zeus?" Persephone continued, setting a plastic bag on the table with a thud.

"Out." Hera replied, sighing and she carried the pomegranates to the other counter. "Your mother wasn't the only one shaken up by today's report. It wasn't even that bad; Athena and Apollo gave the council broadcast some background and the past incidents of the illness, followed by biological models and so on… No matter how many times we say we can treat it better and more effectively than ever, there's always someone barking up the tree, such as Demeter."

"Is Auntie being dramatic again?" Hebe asked, looking away from her coloring. "Is Auntie gonna throw a really big temper tantrum and make everything stop growing again, Auntie Sephey?" Persephone smirked.

"Yes, Auntie Demeter is being very over dramatic. If she throws a temper, I'll let you know so you can draw another nice picture and make her feel better, okay?" Hebe nodded.

"Mama says adults never, ever have tantrums. Or have nap-nap times. That's why Hebe never wants to be an adult!" she exclaimed, turning back to her drawing as Hera set an icy glass of pop in front of Persephone.

"I'm certain Amphitrite's told you all about her experience looking after Percy." Hera began, pulling a pomegranate from the bag and a knife from the counter. "We didn't have too difficult a time. Neither of them vomited and struggled eating. The only issue we really had was making sure their throats healed properly."

"Of course I've heard about it! Though it doesn't look like it, Amphitrite can talk my ear off, thinking I'm lonely in the Underworld and then lonely without Hades… Especially since she wouldn't stop talking about Rhode and…" Persephone pursed her lips in thought. "The other one, the one who came back."

"Does Hebe have a new cousin?!" Hebe exclaimed, turning to Persephone and then to her mother. "Is Hebe gonna be like a big sister but with a cousin?" Hera chuckled.

"No, baby, she's older than you. And she's just moving back in with Uncle Poseidon and Aunt Amphitrite, so we might not meet her for a little while, okay?" Hebe smiled and nodded.

"Hebe's glad Hebe is still littler than everybody!" she replied.

"Did you have fun when Jason and Thalia were here, Hebe?" Persephone asked. Hebe nodded and set down her crayons for what she hoped would be the last time until she had finished her drawing. Adults also had a habit of interrupting.

"Yeah! Hebe got to take nap-nap times with Jason and play doctor with Thalia and tell Thalia how babies are made and stay up past Hebe's bedtime and Hebe drew pictures for Jason and Thalia but Hebe's happy they went home because now Hebe can have Hebe's family back!" And with that, she returned to her drawing. Hera would have scolded her for her final verdict on the Sniffles home-stay, but she was too tired to bother.

"Well, it's always nice to have visitors once and a while…" Persephone replied. "I don't think we've ever had any planned guests visit the Underworld for tea or just to say hi… Don't tell him I told you this, but it makes Hades crabby, being lonely. I can only do so much for him, but at least he reads a lot."

"You can trust me; I could tell you stories about your husband that would make him roll in his grave, if you know what I mean." Hera laughed, beating the pomegranate shell over a bowl to catch the seeds. Her apron looked like she had murdered someone again. "It's what comes from being the youngest sister."

"Hebe knows bad thing Ares and Eilei did, too!" Hebe exclaimed. "But Hebe's not supposed to tell Mama or Papa or else Hebe will get beated up by Ares or Eilei won't get Hebe a baby."

"Why am I not surprised..?" Hera mumbled. Persephone's phone rang in her pocket. "Sorry, speak of the devil!" she said, rising from her seat and stepping out the kitchen. "Hi, Hades. You should have seen what my mother made me wear after the council meeting today- Yes, yes, I did see her face when she found out about- Yes, I got your Snapchat- Okay, okay, I guess it can wait. What's wrong? Uh huh. Oh no. Hades, my mother will kill you. Why? Oh, gods. Both of them? What do you mean you don't understand how the female body works? I'm your wife and you had to raise me through my teenage years! Okay, okay, calm down, it's going to be alright. I'll talk to my mother. Are you with Chiron now? What do I need to bring so they don't get poisoned?" She shoved the phone to her shoulder and looked intensely at a rather startled Hera. "Do you have any Advil?"

"We do, in fact, have Advil, which you are taking from my medicine cabinet along with a dozen other bottles." She managed, watching as Persephone clearly had no idea what in Zeus' name she was doing. Persephone nodded and kept talking.

"Okay, can you send me a list of the rest? My mother is at Apollo's so I can ask her- Oh, Hades, thank you. No, I wasn't there for her checkup; I picked her up and was locked in a gas mask. Athena told me to remind you you're due in- Yes, Athena will be doing your colonoscopy. Because she wouldn't let Apollo do it, now would she? Okay, I'll let my mother know. See you in a few. Love you, Hades. Bye." Persephone hung up in the middle of stuffing medication into her overturned gas mask.

"What are you doing?" Hera asked, grabbing a bottle of Advil before Persephone could take it along with their Benadryl and Dimetapp.

"Hades just got a call from Chiron. Nico and Hazel somehow caught that little demigod cold thing and he needs me to help him look after them." she replied, almost completely out of breath. "It shouldn't be for long, but how am I supposed to tell my mother..? Anyway, I need medication from up here so they survive for a few days in the Underworld. I did hear some horrible things from Amphitrite about Percy vomiting all over the palace..."

"Call Demeter. Give me the list of things you need and I'll call Apollo." Hera said, pulling out her phone. "Sorry the pomegranates aren't ready yet; would you like some tea?" she asked as she punched in a number, Persephone busy copying a list from her phone onto a scrap of paper.

"That sounds lovely." Hebe added medicine theft and lack of pomegranates due to children to her list of reasons why she was glad she would never be an adult.

* * *

 **MWAHAHAHAHA TIME FOR THE UNDERWORLD**

 **In the first version chapter there were so many jokes about Zeus and Hades getting colonoscopies, but I limited it to what we see here. I might reuse the idea during Athena's time with Annabeth, which is coming up after Nico and Hazel spend some time with their wonderful gods of Hell!**

 **Remember to Follow, Favorite and Review! You guys are the reason I make previews for next time!**

 _ **"Now, let's have a talk. Do you know-"**_

 _ **"I know how babies are made."**_

 _ **"Good, good. I see you've discovered the miracle known as the tampon."**_


	12. Persephone's Girl-Talk Overdose

**The final part of the big _Olympian Sniffles_ update has arrived! I'm already a third of the way writing the next chapter, so it shouldn't be too long before I get it up!**

 **So this chapter is all about Hazel growing up... I tried to keep everything to a minimum, but I hope everyone knows about the birds and the bees and what happens to a little girl's body as she blossoms into a young lady! Poor, poor Hades, having to deal with this in the winter seasons...**

 **Anyway, another fun chapter to write! I once again enjoyed looking at more mother relationships, and had a good time giving my own take on the myth of Persephone, since it seems to be one of the most popular or well known among Greek myths.**

 **Another thanks to Icy for reading each of these chapters before they went up and helping me a little with Hazel's predicament! Where would I be without my American?**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **I don't know why Rick would keep a signed copy of _The Hidden Oracle_ lying around his office... Unlike a certain Canadienne! **

* * *

Persephone woke up feeling like... Well... Crap. Those who understood her, and the many ups and downs of being a goddess, would quickly know why. So did her husband, because when something was wrong and even though they both knew it wasn't a big deal, Hades was the only one who was ever present to listen when Persephone got started on a little hormone out-pour.

That's right. The Queen of the Underworld was officially on her period.

You see, godly periods work relatively the same as mortal ones. There are mood swings, cravings, pains, constant pill popping, reheating therapeutic bags until they might not work again, and, worst of all, having to deal with the very simple factor called life. Oh, of all the days of her long, immortal life, why did Persephone have to be alive today?

Granted, it wasn't necessarily the contents of her day that ruined it for her. She was more than glad to look after Nico and Hazel after hearing from her fellow queenly goddesses how stressful and sickly the Olympian Sniffles had been on their step-children, even if she and Hades weren't sure how they would respond to the virus. It was her completely trashy, downright arrogant and totally angry mood that threw her off the right track to be at least a touch motherly to Hades' demigod children while they were stuck in bed.

And here's how her wonderful morning played out.

Persephone woke up at around seven thirty wrapped in blankets beside her husband, who was still asleep in bed beside her, sleeping on his side facing her direction, as he usually did. The silky black drapes of their elegant Victorian style bed were pulled shut all around them, the pillows were still in a somewhat neatly arranged line despite the night and Persephone did not feel at all well rested. Usually, she would have, considering she hadn't seen Hades in about four months and enjoyed her time with him, but this morning, the goddess of flowers felt like she needed a lot of watering, sunshine and love. That's why she didn't hesitate to cuddle up beside her husband, who she always thought looked cute when he slept because all the tension and pain seemed to have left his face. Today, the cuteness was treated as an unwelcome feature, as it sparked jealously within Persephone that would have made her aunt Hera proud. How dare Hades have a better sleep that she did? How dare he not feel pain in his lower regions? How dare he not literally bleed over their love for each other?

"Whatever. His chest smells wonderful and he's warm and cozy and wearing the cologne I got him for his birthday. I can deal with life later- No, I can't... I'm such a wreck..." Persephone thought as she lifted his arm and dropped it over her side, resting her head under his chin and hiding her head in his neck. Gods, Hades was perfect, even if he didn't deserve the sleep he got because everything revolved around her for the next seven to eight days.

Hades stirred and inhaled deeply, breathing in the smell of his lovely Persephone as he stroked the back of her head affectionately.

"Good morning, my sunflower..." he began, his hand moving to her back and pulling her closer to him. "How did you sleep?"

"I want to be your snowdrop today." Blunt. That was Hades' first and only required clue.

"Greasy pizza or dark chocolate ambrosia milkshake?"

"Pizza."

"Milkshake it is, then." Persephone groaned and rolled her eyes as she rolled off the bed and stepped into her slippers. Hades rose after her. "Don't force yourself, Persephone. I will look after-"

"I can do this, Hades." she snapped, punctuating the end of her sentence as she tied the rope of her house coat around her waist with a satisfying and sassy swish. "I'm not weak; I can look after them."

"Of course, my love." Hades knew he was better off letting her go do what he could. And let her go he did.

Persephone entered the hall, feeling ticked off at her husband and the world, searching furiously through the pockets of her house coat for a bottle of Advil or something that would relieve her pain. She wore the black one this time of the month for a reason. Anything would do, even the mood-stabilizer Hermes had once snuck in while she was on Olympus a few months ago. Persephone hauled out the tiny bottle holding her emergency stash of extra-strength godly Advil from her breast pocket and shoved a number of pills into her mouth, not caring how many she took because she knew she wouldn't feel a thing when they kicked in.

Finally, the goddess of the Underworld arrived at the doors to her step-daughter's room. Nico and Hazel had arrived last night shortly after she had, both of them unconscious and on stretchers Hermes and Hades had carried in while Persephone was tasked with keeping Cerberus away from them. It was clear he had taken a great liking to them, or at least their scent, and Persephone wasn't anxious to begin her first face-to-face conversation with her husband with "Your bastard children have fallen into the Styx, My Lord."

Persephone didn't even bother knocking. It was her house, she could do whatever the Hades she wanted. Hazel would probably still be asleep. She had been warned by her fellow goddesses that their step children had been out for a few days without stirring, but now, she didn't care. All she wanted was to check on Hazel, make some unhealthy food for breakfast, and spend the rest of the day being dotted on by her husband and criticizing him. It was going to be perfect.

The first thing Persephone noticed was the empty bed. Was Hazel a sleep walker? Persephone would have the answer immediately if she checked with the oversized puppy Hades refused to let her bring inside. The second thing she noticed was the trail of blood that led from the sheets of the bed across the floor and into the bathroom, where no noise could be heard. Persephone was always up for a good horror story set in the Underworld. She pulled a spare tampon from her pocket and unwrapped it, thinking she could use it to confuse whatever was bleeding in case it attacked her and needed something thrown at it. She stepped in cautiously, tampon at the ready.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hazel sat in the bathroom on the toilet, breathing deeply. Her nostrils had vanished because she had the worst cold ever and she was crying with little remaining control. The pain was too much for anyone to bear. Tears slid from her face onto her legs as she leaned forward, trying to do anything that would lessen her pain. It shot down her legs and up her back, like poison was braiding itself around her bones and threatening to burn off her legs at the tips. Her lungs hurt when they moved, her eyes stung from crying and fatigue, her ears rung and her stomach felt like a million suns had managed to find their way inside. She was sick, tired, alone, confused and in the Underworld. Where was Frank when she needed him?

Millions of tiny stones kept popping up around her feet like thumb tacks, all of them a shimmering blood red. Her blood soaked pyjama pants, which she had discarded to the floor, were covered in them. She couldn't leave the room due to the landmines her pains had created and her lack of clothes. She was doomed for embarrassment in front of whoever found her there.

That's when Persephone opened the door, holding a tampon in her hand like a sword, a bottle of Advil tumbling from the breast pocket of her black house coat. Hazel literally screamed.

"Oh my Gods, Lady Persephone!" she sobbed, not sure what to do next or what to look at. Instead, she kept her focus on Persephone's eyes. "I'm so sorry I bled everywhere and made all these rubies and-" Persephone's mood shifted drastically from murderous to pity on the highest level.

"Hazel, you poor baby!" she cried, ignoring the rubies at her feet and wading through them to her step-daughter. "Did your period start today, too, honey?" Hazel only continued to cry as Persephone stroked her arms supportively. "It's alright, sweetie, I'll help you get all cleaned up and feeling better, okay?"

"Lady Persephone, I don't know what's wrong with me and I-"

"Shhh... Calm down. Deep breaths... Oh, you poor thing. Come on, let's get you up-"

"I don't want to move or the bleeding will get worse-"

"You'll be fine-"

"It hurts! Stop!" Persephone lowered her arms and let Hazel relax back on the toilet, sobbing and sniffling in a way threatening and icy Persephone never would have put up with. But, since Hazel and Nico weren't in the Underworld for diplomatic business, she could be herself for once.

"Hazel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I didn't know mortal periods hurt that much." Hazel looked up from her hands over her face.

"Mortal what..?" she asked. Persephone's eyes bulged.

"You mean..." she asked, slowly. "You've never had a period before?" Hazel shook her head.

"I don't even know what that is."

"How old are you?"

"Almost 14." Persephone straightened herself and took a deep, tension absorbing breath. It would have become a sigh, had she exhaled normally, but now, her frustration and bad mood were gone. There was someone else suffering the same pain she was, and that someone was about to be taught the true Hell of being born a female.

"Hazel, I'm going to turn on the bath for you and you can relax for a bit." she began. "I'll get you some Advil and- what do you feel like eating? Like, right now?" Hazel sniffled.

"Cherry filled donuts covered in powdered sugar... And a huge creamy glass of chocolate milk with a straw in a cup that never empties..."

"I can do everything but the never ending cup."

"Lady Persephone... I don't even like those kinds of donuts!" Hazel wailed, hugging her shoulders close around her chest. "I want everything to start over!"

"I know, honey, I know... Let's get you in the tub and I'll go get some medicine for your cold and pain, then we can talk about what happens to a little girl's body as she blossoms into a young lady." Hazel nodded shakily as Persephone stepped through the rubies and turned on the tub. "I'll be right back with some medicine, new clothes and a broom, alright? Hang in there! You're going to be alright! No one ever bleeds to death on their period!" And so, Hazel was left a little more confused than she liked to be while bleeding into a toilet. However, it gave her plenty of time to think.

"Soak in the bath? But I'm only going to bleed into the water, aren't I? No, no! I can't think like that... Get that image out of your head right now, Hazel... Oh, there's a shower in here, too. I can just use that to rinse when I'm out... See? That wasn't so hard. Just keep thinking happy thoughts and being smart, Hazel... Okay, so... Deep breaths... Hades, that last cramp hurt... Let's try and piece ourselves together... Is this some kind of puberty? No, nothing else ever hurt this much. Lady Persephone called it a period, didn't she? As in a period of my life I will never have to endure again? Oh, thank gods- Ow... Don't start crying again... You know it hurts, so stop... What's that weird tube thing Lady Persephone left on the floor? Is there something in it? It looks like there is... What's it for? Why have I been bleeding so much? I know Lady Persephone said no one ever dies of blood loss, but how am I not dizzy or at least unconscious by now? I've been at this forever, already... What if this is just something that happens with the Sniffles? I mean, if it's a godly illness and Lady Persephone is the same as I am... Stop making excuses... Your life sucks even more now..."

Finally, Hazel managed to stumble into the bath tub and sat, half in violent pain and half in long deserved comfort, playing with the little plastic tube that had a long cotton swab inside, when Persephone came back in with a muffin, a large plastic bag, a bottle of chewable medicine and a tall glass of chocolate milk, with a straw. Hazel had been worried Persephone would be mean and stern, but it turned out she was going to be a fun step-mom.

"Hazel, thank you for the rubies. These will look lovely in a vase with some amethyst roses on top..." she began, waving her hand. The rubies all gathered in a cluster and flew into the bag.

"I appreciate the compliment, Lady Persephone, but you know those are cursed, right?"

"Honey, literally everything down here is cursed. Though..." Persephone drifted off in thought. "I'll have to go see if Hades still has Satan's casserole dish. He will simply love this surprise when we return it!"

"I'm sorry. Who?"

"The neighborhood down here isn't very safe for a young girl on her own. Don't leave the palace."

"Got it."

"Now," Persephone sat on the toilet seat. "Let's have a talk. Do you know-"

"I know how babies are made."

"Good, good. I see you've discovered the miracle known as the tampon." Hazel looked at the little tube in her hands. It reminded her a little of a rocket ship or a club used in battle.

"What does it do?" she asked. "Do you pop out the cotton part and stick it between your legs to stop the bleeding?" Persephone pursed her lips.

"Kind of. You put it in there." Hazel's eyes grew wide.

"You mean... I have to put this in my butt?"

"Well, you don't have to, and it's not your butt. It's your... Umm... Gods... Oh! Your metaphorical rose bush. You put the tampon in your metaphorical rose bush to prevent the bleeding from coming out. Most women use them while swimming or playing sports." Hazel stared wide-eyed at her.

"So the bleeding is from..?" Persephone nodded. "Why? And why is there so much blood?"

"Fun fact! It's proven that only a teaspoon or so of what you're bleeding is blood. The rest are fluids." And so, Hazel and Persephone began a very long, drawn out conversation about growing up, and why Hazel was lucky Persephone was the one giving her the talk, because, according to her personal experiences, Hades was terrible at it. In the end, Hazel was distraught to learn that her period would occur more than once and turn her into a monster for about a week, but Persephone told her not to feel bad because she could drag other girls down with her if they synced up. After an emotionally charged conversation and a proper shower, plus a few pills for her heavy cold-like Olympian Sniffles symptoms, Hazel sat peacefully in a new pair of cozy pyjamas on her bed as Persephone combed her hair and they chatted about non-sexual, non-awkward things to discuss with your step-mom.

"So Hades told me you both got the Sniffles from Percy?" Persephone asked. "It's been about two weeks now since he had them, hasn't it? How is he still contagious?"

"Camp Half-Blood and the Hunters of Artemis were supposed to be evacuated to Camp Jupiter so no one else would get sick." Hazel explained. "Percy, Thalia and Jason are all still there, and they aren't joining us until we're certain the Sniffles have passed. I tagged along to help with the packing and escort team Reyna sent, but as I was helping Nico pack one of the buses, he collapsed and blacked out. I tried helping him up and managed to get him down the hill before I felt dizzy. That's really all I remember before I woke up here with my pains and thought something had hurt me because of all the blood... It was pretty scary, actually."

"Hermes told me they decided to keep everyone in one camp now that the evacuation failed." Persephone added. "I didn't know what he meant before. I just hope no one else gets sick."

"I'm glad it was only us five so far; there's no one else in our cabins to catch it. Personally, if I were an Olympian god, I wouldn't want an entire generation of my children crashing at my palace with a sickness that varies in effect..."

"You've got a point. I'm not sure how Hades would deal with twenty other children like you and Nico in the Underworld at once. His comforting skills take a little… getting used to."

"I'm glad you're here, Lady Persephone." Hazel began, pulling at the blanket Persephone had given to her and laying it across her lap. "If I had still been at Camp Jupiter when the bleeding started, I probably would have scared the others. I would be embarrassed if I had a lot of people trying to help me, too… My mother and I lived in a time when talking about this sort of thing with other women was… You know."

"I would have thought talking to a goddess, let alone your immortal step-mother, would be even more awkward." Hazel laughed.

"Believe me, it is. But you didn't push me off as a burden or make me feel like a burden to you or myself. I wasn't scared of something happening to me because you supported me." Persephone set down her comb and sat next to Hazel at the edge of the bed, listening. "When I began to recognize my ability to make stones, I couldn't control it. My mother was honest with me; it was my curse, and my power only brought people pain and suffering. For a long, long time, that's all I thought I was, just someone who had a gift they couldn't control and was a burden upon others. But now I can control it, and I found support that showed me I'm not obliged to hurt anyone. To be told that something happening in my life isn't a curse, but a gift that happens naturally, means a lot to me, Lady Persephone. Thank you." Persephone adjusted her place on the bed until she sat beside Hazel at the edge.

"You know, I had my own problems with my mother. I was so sheltered all my life that I began to believe that anywhere that wasn't my mother's palace was a bad place. All I ever knew about the other gods, about my own family, I heard from her. I wanted out, but at the same time, I was scared of it. Then part of me wondered if there was a reason I was seldom allowed to perform godly duties and was kept away from the world." She adjusted her housecoat as she spoke, fiddling with the tassel around her waist. "People often wonder why I fell in love with Hades after he brought me here. They say I was strong and didn't let his advances phase me. But… I was terrified. The Underworld was a place my mother had used to frighten me when I was young to keep me in bed at night. I tried to be strong, but needing comfort wasn't the reason I loved him. It was because he loved me for who I was and contradicted all I knew about the world. Hades gave me hope. Maybe the Underworld was a bad place, but inside of it was someone who truly loved someone else and would do anything for them. Hades taught me the world wasn't always bad, and that goodness can be found in the darkness. I guess by seeing the worst of the world first, I learned to appreciate the rest of its beauty, including this place. Hades didn't just show me the world, but he gave me his, both literally and-" Persephone closed her eyes and furrowed her brow, resting her forehead in her hands.

"Lady Persephone?" Hazel asked, watching as her step-mother fell on her side and curled in on herself like a bug. "What's happening?" Persephone managed a painful wordless noise in response before her body jerked and she croaked. Hazel shot up from the bed, panicked. Was this something that happened when Persephone wasn't supposed to be in the Underworld? Could she have gotten the Olympian Sniffles, too? "I'm getting Hades!" she called, running from the room despite the pains in her legs and chest. Fortunately, she didn't have far to run; she nearly hit her father with the door as she left the room. "Lord Ha- Father- Dad! Perseph-" Hades had already slid past her into her room, marching quickly to the bed and sitting Persephone on the edge. He held her by the shoulders as he spoke quickly in Greek. Hazel watched as her step mother's face grew into a strange, yucky pale color as she tried to respond.

A bottle of medicine fell from her house coat pocket. Hades lifted it from the floor, opened it and threw it against the wall, frustrated. He did what Hazel thought was cussing in Greek as he lifted Persephone into his arms and headed for the door. Hazel stepped clear of him as he went by.

"Don't worry, she's only overdosed on painkiller; again." Hades sighed, taking in Hazel's concerned look. "She'll be fine in a few hours, Nico is fine, the main hall is to your right, Netflix is channel 8."

* * *

 **Hades has mad parenting/perioding skills.**

 **I acrually don't know if I have enough for a preview yet but lemme check for a good line... While I do that, FFR! Follow, Favorite, Review! If anyone has any ideas for shenanigans Athena and Annabeth can get into next time, please let me know! I'd love to hear them!**

 _ **"Speaking of boats, I forgot I was going to take Cerberus for a walk this afternoon... I'd already called Osiris about it and Cerberus was excited to see Ammit..."**_


	13. Hades Loves his Morbid Puppy Dog

**This full title of this chapter is _Hades Loves his Morbid Freak of Nature Puppy Dog_ , but I guess my punishment for not updating in forever is not having enough space to use that title. Opps.**

 **Soo... Here's the latest chapter of Olympian Sniffles! Thank you all so much for your patience as university has a been a bit of a cupcake andI haven't found the motivation or ideas to write, but here we go! I was planning on pulishing a few chapters all in one go, but I guess this one will give me some more motivation and resolve a cliff-hanger I forgot I left you Owlion babies on... Hermie is sorry.**

 **By the way, this is also the story I am most proud of, and I want to say thank you to all the people who had reviewed, favorited, followed and supported us along the way. I want to keep this fic going, believe me, and seeing sudden emails that someone did one of the above to this story makes my day but also pains my sensitive Canadian heart that I haven't updated... Shoutout to user Guesty; Yes, I am planning on including Demeter in the coming section of chapters, but since Meg is kinda out of commission and none of her other kids have enough to work with... Guess who's going to be teaching Athena how to mom? Things are going to Hell in a hand basket.**

 **Quick context before I let you read; This was originally Thennie's idea, but I helped her open it up and explore it. We wanted to talk about this idea of all the Underworlds being connected in someway or another, and this is what came out of it! It's a bit of a strange chapter and was really hard to write; we've never seen the gods or their demigod children for that matter interact with each other in a casual manner. Forgive me for ending it on an odd note, but the start of the next chapter is funny. In fact, I'm half way done writing it!**

 **Happy Birthday to my good buddy Icy! You're the reason I'm updating today! :)**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **Uhhh... Hades isn't evil,**

 **Persephone is sweet,**

 **I don't own Percy Jackson,**

 **But wouldn't that be neat?**

 **(Gods, I'm Majoring in English what am I doing...)**

* * *

Nico found Hades seated on the sofa in what he assumed to be the palace's main living room holding Persephone, who was sobbing uncontrollably into his chest as he rubbed her back and stared at the ceiling, as if praying for a god-sent miracle to make it stop.

"What's wrong?" he asked, timidly. Those two words alone could easily get him killed in the world of moody and childish immortals. Before Hades could answer, Persephone did for him.

"I overdosed again!" she wailed. "And it really hurts! Hades!"

"I've got you, my snowdrop. We're going to be alright."

"No, we're not! I want to be your lily!"

"Yes, yes, of course." Hades managed over the sound of her ugly crying. Nico had to admit it was the sweetest, yet most horrendously awkward moment he had ever witnessed between an immortal couple. After Persephone stammered on about all the little things that had not really upset her while she was gone and how she was so glad to be able to act normal and not majestic and intimidating towards Nico and Hazel, she carried on in Greek until Hades finally had enough.

"Listen, my lily-"

"Rosebud."

"Yes, you are my rosebud, for you shall be my dying words. I think you would feel better if you had a nice, tall glass of water and we get a nice, cold ice pack for your forehead and you take a nice, long nap in our room-"

"Why does everything have to be so nice to me?!" Persephone cried. "I don't deserve niceness!"

"Yes, you do, my rosebud-"

"Lady slipper!" Hades blinked.

"What's that?" Persephone looked at him with hollow eyes as she clung to his arm.

"A flower that's almost extinct, like me! I'm dying, Hades, help!"

"Persephone, you're immortal. We can't die." Persephone let out a series of high pitched screams involving what Nico assumed to be Greek swear words as she had another complete meltdown.

"Persephone, come on... Enough with the flowers for now." Hades began, pulling a blanket off the side of the couch and wrapping in around his wife. "None of them match your beauty, so comparing them to you will only be a disgrace to you."

"Shut up!" Persephone whined. "I'm an ugly, dead, wet leaf that's been trampled by worthless mortals and snowed on- and it wasn't even white snow, a dog peed on me-"

"Not even when you're crying, you will never be." Hades ran his thumb under her eyes, wiping away her tears. "I don't want to lose my Persephone under all those tears."

"Don't. Don't make me happy." she mumbled as he kissed her cheek. "I'm a pee-leaf."

"And you are also beautiful. Everything you are is all the reasons I love you. If you were a garden full of every kind of flower, I would love each and every one of them, pee-leaves and all." Hades embraced her before sliding her from his lap to the sofa, where he helped her up and held her by her waist as they began to leave the room.

"Oh, no..." Persephone sniffled. "I completely forgot... Nico was standing right there, Hades."

"It's alright, Persephone. It won't be the first thing mortals have caught us doing. We can always blow him up if he says anything bad, can't we? Or, you can have fun turning him into a plant." Hades said, calmly. Persephone sniffled again and pulled her blanket around her as she mumbled about what a handsome sunflower Nico would make and how she was the reigning champion of Hungry Hungry Hippo. Hades leaned into his son. "We wouldn't actually, but whatever floats her boat-"

"Oh!" Persephone exclaimed. "Speaking of boats, I forgot I was going to take Cerberus to for a walk this afternoon... I'd already called Osiris about it and Cerberus was excited to see Ammit..."

"Who?" Nico asked. "And how did you get that from boats?" Persephone blinked once or twice before her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't know!" she wailed, shoving her face into a reluctant Hades' shoulder. "My life is a mess!"

"Everyone's got a little something, snowdrop... Nico, go check on Hazel and bring her to the living room. I have a... Fun family activity planned for us while Persephone rests so she can do an even more fun one with us later." Persephone mumbled something in approval of being included in a family activity.

When Hades returned, Hazel and Nico were having a chat at the table.

"So you didn't know about my... My metaphorical rose bush?" Hazel asked, changing the wording of her sentence when she noticed her father's presence in the room.

"I didn't even know you had a... Metaphorical rose bush..." Nico replied, entirely confused by what his sister was trying to explain to him.

"Children..." Hades began, his voice very drawn out in the awkward conversation. "Can we please refrain from sexual topics? You are not children of Zeus." Hazel had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep herself from laughing out loud. Nico, on the other hand, let out a slight grunt in the place of a laugh. A small, sinister looking smile had grown on Hades' face. Frankly, Nico found it a bit terrifying. "I would like you both to come with me to take Cerberus for a walk. Don't worry, he won't eat you unless you ask for it. It took three thousand years for Zeus to finally realize that my morbid freak of nature puppy dog, as his daughter Hebe so kindly put it, might need a shock collar to keep him in line. Don't worry; I control the shocks and let him vent his emotions. Odd things, emotions."

A tour around the Underworld while walking the very beast that maintained its peace since time began wasn't the ideal way Nico planned to recover from a heavy cold. Especially if it meant being around something big and furry that would make him be physically active. He imagined Cerberus to be the type of dog who would roll in lava and the rivers of the Underworld in the place of puddles, chase wandering souls instead of squirrels and have arguments with himself about which way he wanted to go next. Fetch was going to be a monster; they would need something the size of a firetruck if they wanted to avoid the heads tearing themselves apart. And how were they supposed to clean up after a giant dog who ate thirty times as much as others?

"Do we have to go?" Nico finally asked. The little creativity he had in him was giving him a Cerberus sized headache. Hades looked his way.

"Unless you want to be bored to death and risk being the one who must coddle Persephone if she wants to find me, yes. We won't be out long; half an hour to forty minutes at most. Cerberus is usually only controllable for a block or two, anyway."

"Umm... Father… I'm… I'm on my period right now..." Hazel began softly, her stomach leaping into her throat when Hades directed his attention to her. "Should I really be-"

"Exercise helps you feel better and stimulates hormones that cause your mood to lift." Hades explained. "Trust me, it works well with Persephone. Unless, of course, she's overdosed. Then it's like watching my little brother walk into a lingerie store."

"You went with Zeus to a lingerie store?!" both siblings asked at once. Hades shook his head.

"I went with Poseidon to a lingerie store. It was a prank gift for Hestia. She took it well."

* * *

After the surprisingly simple task of leashing Cerberus, which meant distracting the three heads with enough food as Hades padlocked an industrial-grade leash to his collar, Hades led them through a section of Persephone's massive jeweled flower garden that seemed to surround the entire palace. Nico and Hazel walked awkwardly behind their father as Cerberus pulled them along, panting happily as his tail swished, causing Hades' black hair to fly into a mess. After failing to comb it into place with his hands, Hades gave the leash a yank. Nico looked around the garden. They had left through the front gates of the palace and were walking around the eastern wall and appeared to be heading to the back door, if Hades' palace even had one.

"So, how's camp been?" Hazel asked, softly, trying to break the awkward silence they had been enduring since they left the palace. Nico shrugged and sniffled. His cold was starting to give him a headache.

"Fine, I guess. Will and Percy are probably freaking out over me getting sick and being out of contact reach."

"Hey, Jason told me you and Will-" Nico nudged her with his elbow. Hazel stepped back before confronting him. "What was that for?" she hissed, praying Hades hadn't seen or heard anything. Nico shook his head toward Hades.

"Don't talk about that." He said as quietly as he could. Nico had no idea how Hades would take his relationship with Will. He always seemed old-fashioned, strict and the type who wouldn't change his mind once he had made a decision. Cerberus' center head stayed alert and silent while the other two were glancing over their shoulders at Nico and Hazel, panting happily at their new visitors and the funny state of Hades' usually well-kept black hair. Finally, Hazel spoke up.

"Um, Father? Dad?" she asked, still not entirely sure what to call Hades. She took his silence as an invitation to continue. "Where are we going? Didn't you say we are going around a block?"

"We are. Currently, we are headed to the front of the palace."

"So the doors mortals have feared for ages have just been your back door?" Nico asked. Hades nodded over his shoulder.

"The front doors of all the palaces of the Underworld are reserved for their rulers. The back door is the gate to our specific realm, but… let me put it this way. All the Underworlds and Hells from every pantheon you can think of are connected. We're a community, and I only own a part of it and govern my part of the dead, and you could say my kingdom is something like a backyard."

"Is that what Lady Persephone meant when she said the neighborhood isn't safe?" Hazel asked.

"The neighborhood, I assure you, is quite safe, as long as you do not let anything tempt you to stray from the side walk and avoid climbing the hill." Though both of them wanted to ask, they knew they were much better off without answers about the hill. Hades pulled a ring of keys from his pocket when they reached a tall gate at what appeared to be the end of the garden. "But please, children, stay with me at all times." He said, pushing open the gate as Cerberus barked in approval of freedom. "I promise we won't be too long."

A neighborhood was a correct way of describing the true form of the Underworld in which Hades and Persephone lived. The front yard of the palace, whose front doors were even larger and grander than the back, mortal entrance, connected to a large sidewalk on the side of a large, pitch black road. Hades lived near the end of a cul de sac, at the end of which there was a hill with a steep driveway with a large mansion perched at the top. The rest of the street was full of palaces of different styles from different ages, some of them large and others smaller, but still large enough to intimidate the average mortal. Above their heads, the rocky walls vanished gradually into darkness, giving the Underworlds a permanent nightfall with precious stones for stars that shone faintly from the light of torches lining the street and the light from palace windows.

Once they hit the yard, which was full of living grass, Cerberus took over and pulled Hades with him to the sidewalk as he tried to maintain a grip on the leash. A brief thought crossed Nico's mind; his father face-planting into the grass several times before he had finally learned how to control the guardian of his gates. However, since he still wasn't sure if Hades could read his mind or not, he quickly brushed it off, but heard Hazel snicker softly beside him. It was always good to know they were on the same page.

"I did not mean to keep you waiting, Osiris." Hades began, meeting with a man on the sidewalk. Cerberus barked happily at something small at his feet; a little combination of a crocodile, lion and a hippo, from what Nico could see.

"What is that?" he asked Hazel, softly. She shrugged and furrowed her brow.

"How should I know? Just because I was in the Fields of Asphodel doesn't mean I know everything about the Underworld… I thought you knew."

"Ammit has no species, children, in the same respect as Cerberus." The other man answered as Hades stepped aside, allowing Nico and Hazel to join their conversation. He wore a semi-formal black suit and jacket and had green colored skin, thankfully not vibrant, and wore a white and gold headdress over his black hair, which hung out the back in short clumps.

"Nico, Hazel, this is Osiris, the Egyptian ruler of the dead, and my neighbor from across the street." Hades said, giving Cerberus a small tug on the leash, Osiris doing likewise for Ammit. Apparently, they had gotten a little too close for comfort. "These are my children, and they will be staying here until they recover from an illness that infects demigods of our kind." Hazel decided she should bow, and Nico looked awkwardly at her before kneeling slowly and doing the same.

"Children, please don't make this awkward." Osiris sighed, chuckling a little. "Yet, thank you for the respect. I hope you recover soon; it's an awful shame when your own children are close to death, isn't it?" Hades took a moment in deciding his answer and changed the question to avoid showing emotion.

"Speaking of children, Persephone mentioned Anubis would be with you. I thought he and Nico would get along. They are quite… similar." Osiris shook his head.

"No. He's having one of those phases again… Locking the door to his room, spending hours in the bathroom on his phone, yelling at me when I walk in on a telephone conversation between him and his girlfriend… You understand."

"I would be more strict with him, if I were you." Nico figured now wasn't the best time to bring up his relationship with Will or that his younger sister was dating a sixteen year-old. Ammit yipped happily at them, scooting over on her stubby legs and sniffing Nico's shoes with her crocodile snout and rubbing her gums against the sole. Osiris whistled and Ammit scurried back to him. Cerberus watched the whole scene closely with two heads while the other was in charge of sniffing the other dog and making eye contact. Nico was sure Cerberus could easily eat the smaller dog in a single bite.

"We only have so long before Persephone wakes from her nap." Hades said, pulling Cerberus forward with him as he started off down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of the large hill. "Come along, children."

"Is Persephone sick?" Osiris asked, keeping a close eye on Ammit as she toddled along beside Cerberus. Hades shook his head.

"Accidental overdose."

"Ah." They had neared the palace next to Hades', which was surrounded by a huge garden of dead, thin rotten plants behind a fence. A beautiful woman knelt beside a bush with actual roses blooming on it at the front of the garden, using a scissor-sized pair of gardening shears to clip away the roses and their leaves, leaving the bush made of only branches and thorns. Ammit and Cerberus both began yipping happily. Hades demonstrated the new shock collar.

"Oh, if it isn't Cebby and Ammy!" the woman exclaimed, waving at them as she brushed rose petals from her lap and got to her feet. "Good afternoon, Osiris, Hades." Hazel felt her stomach lurch and prayed she wouldn't vomit the Advil that was saving her very sanity. The other side of the woman's face was rotten and falling apart. Her bones could be seen both through and without flesh. One arm hung limply by her side while the other held the gardening shears. Upon closer inspection, her free hand, and arm, was nothing more than skin and bones.

"Hello, Hel." Hades replied, eyeing Cerberus closely as he took a step forward. Hel smiled as she set down her sheers and rubbed one of his heads. Ammit grabbed the sheers in her crocodile jaws and began gnawing as if it were a chew toy.

"Out for a walk without Persephone? That's a shame. I thought she might like the roses I just cut, but I suppose you'll have your hands full taking Cebby back- Oh, Hades, are these your children?" Hades nodded and prayed to himself that Nico and Hazel had decent, non-horrified looks on their faces and would actually speak a little with his neighbor.

"This is Nico, my son, and Hazel, Pluto's daughter. They are staying with us while they recover from an illness that is harmful to Greek demigods. Persephone is having another one of her little… episodes. We needed to get out for a bit." Hel smiled at Nico and Hazel, which Nico found to be a little too creepy for his liking, given that half her face was stunningly beautiful and the other side looked like she'd fought Cerberus for a chew toy and lost, but at least she seemed friendly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Hazel managed, her voice nasally from her cold.

"And you as well!" Hel replied. Her voice was also noticeably smooth and pleasant. "We don't get many demigods down here now a days; all the quests and eras of the gods have ended… Actually, Hazel, maybe you could help me with something. I was hoping to ask Persephone if I could borrow some eggs. My father is coming for dinner soon and I haven't started cooking yet, and I could use the extra help."

"I'm afraid I have to decline for her, Hel." Hades cut in. "I'd rather not our dear neighbor Lucy find out about my children's stay here. Your father, no offense, talks a lot, like a certain Hermes I know." Hel's working shoulder sagged.

"Well, I guess you are right. Who knows what kind of stunts Satan would pull if he captured one of your children."

"I'm sorry who." Nico asked. Hel rolled her eyes.

"See that big hill?" Osiris asked, pointing at the mansion on the hill at the tip of the cul de sac. "That's Satan's, or Lucifer's, residence. Though most of the gods of the Underworld get along, he is the one person we can't stand having as a neighbor."

"His potluck dishes are the worst… I mean, I like Shepherd's pie, but not with actual shepherds." Hel added. "Stay away from Lucy; he's evil, no matter how stunning he is." Cerberus barked in approval. Ammit yipped because mob mentality and bounced up and down happily. "Does Poochiekins want a snack? Has Daddy been feeding you enough hearts of the damned? Who's a good girl?" Hel cooed, petting Ammit as she yipped around at her feet. "That reminds me, actually, I have to feed my brother on Lyngvi, too… Dad won't leave too many booby traps around the palace if I was looking out for my siblings, right?"

"I've got a few dozen extra frozen chickens if you'd like them." Hades offered. "Raw, of course. Cerberus is on a little diet."

"No, it's alright. I've got plenty, but thank you anyway! Have fun on your little walk!" Hel picked up her gardening sheers with her good arm, earning her a little nuzzle from Ammit's nose. "I hope Persephone feels well soon, as do the two of you." Hel continued, addressing Nico and Hazel. Her eyes suddenly shifted tone, becoming harder and darker, only slightly. "I hope our pantheons can continue to agree with one another in the future, if destiny acts as according." With that, she turned and left. Nico allowed his eyes to dart back and forth between his father and Osiris. Both held their jaws clenched tightly as they watched her make her way back to her palace.

"What was that about?" Hazel asked, softly.

"Whatever it was, I hope we don't find out soon." Nico replied. Cerberus and Ammit had also fallen silent.

* * *

The rest of their walk passed on without much of a hassle, though mostly tense and quiet. It didn't take much for Nico to deduce that Hel's words had provoked serious thought in the two gods of the Underworld, so his headache didn't increase, but it certainly was pounding. His ears felt full of water from the pounding and sniffling due to his cold, but at least he could breathe. His lungs also felt like they'd done their time, so he did his best to avoid deep breaths.

As he walked through the neighborhood and half-heartedly listened to Hades and Osiris tell them a little about each of their neighbors, Nico couldn't help but miss the sunlight that forgot the world below. His thoughts slipped to Will. Was he worried? Had Will looked after him until help arrived to carry him to the Underworld? What if he'd accidentally given the Sniffles to Will? Although his father was Apollo, Nico had met the guy once, and it wasn't very reassuring. He held his hand to his head and rubbed his temples.

Occasionally, they passed a palace with residents who had stepped out for a bit of fresh, eons-old air. A rotten woman who Nico could only guess was once very beautiful sat sobbing on a small bench outside of a large, East Asian palace wearing an elegant kimono. Hades stopped briefly to console her from afar, to which she replied it was only her husband making more souls of the living than she could make of the dead each day and how it was wearing her down bit by bit. They passed another, much, much larger East Asian palace that held four men in the middle of an intense discussion in the front yard. Hades merely pulled them along and made them walk hidden in his and Osiris' sides, as to avoid "Calling out the whole pantheon for five hours" as the men continued talking in the palace courtyard. They were once again asked to hide upon passing by a palace Nico recognized immediately as the home of the Aztec gods, two of which were on their way in the door and stopped to ask Hades and Osiris for any tips on receiving more human sacrifices, which the latter two promptly declined.

Cerberus and Ammit had remained calm and quiet, despite their occasional leash tangling as Ammit ran between Cerberus' legs playfully or Cerberus stopped and dipped a head to sniff her as the other two kept Hades and Osiris occupied. Nico was beginning to see charm in both monsters. Cerberus, while being a very large, three-headed dog whose bark had easily intimidated him upon his first visits to the Underworld, was actually a combination of three puppies when not on duty and, from what he assumed, stressed from the pressure of guarding the Underworld and anticipating something or someone arriving. As to why Persephone usually walked him, Nico assumed she was his favorite and was actually more of a handful when with her than with Hades. Ammit was so much smaller than Cerberus, but from what Osiris had told them over the course of their walk to lift the cloud of tension given to them by Hel, Ammit wasn't the guard dog of the Egyptian Underworld, but rather an extra storage bin for souls who did not receive eternal paradise or rest. Ammit's main purpose was to eat the hearts of humans that weighed more than a feather of truth, or something along those lines. His headache was making it harder for him to stay focused, but he couldn't help but wonder if Ammit had actually once been very big from eating hearts when the Egyptian gods were in power. For now, she was a pint size odd-ball you could easily punt across the yard like a football, if her crocodile snout didn't get in the way.

Finally, they reached a large pyramid shaped palace across the street, as Nico decided he would call it despite the lack of vehicles, from Hades' Greek palace. He honestly thought that Osiris' home of soft gold stones etched with thousands of gems and statues marking the massive front doors made Hades' black marble and copper-lined pillars look small and unimpressive, almost as if the apprentice was imitating the master. Ammit whimpered as Osiris stepped onto the walkway leading back to his palace, trying to stay outside the yard and gazing at Hades with pleading eyes. Cerberus let out three painful whimpers as two heads reached toward their friend and the third gave their master soft brown eyes that reminded Nico of Will's when he told him he didn't want and/or need a hug.

"Ammit." Osiris began, giving the leash a small tug. "If you're a good girl and go inside, I'll get Anubis to give you a bath." Ammit yipped and bounced into the air as she high-tailed it back to the palace, the leash dragging behind her. Cerberus in turn barked at Hades, who pursed his lips at the thought of giving his dog a bath. Nico was certain that their father would have a word with them later about not letting any of the Olympians, with an emphasis on Zeus and Poseidon, learning about half the things that went on in the Underworld.

"We'll see if Persephone's feeling better." He sighed. "Maybe the kids can help her." Cerberus barked completely out of sync. Hades pushed the fabled shock collar button. Nico watched as Cerberus froze and composed himself, sitting patiently with his tail wagging furiously behind him, nearly knocking Hazel over.

"I hope you both feel better and return to the world above soon." Osiris said. "I should know more than anyone that the land of the dead, though fascinating to some, is no place for mortals to spend a long period of time. And I hope Persephone does alright after her little… episode." Hades pursed his lips again and nodded.

"Indeed. Try not to let Hel bother you; we're good neighbors down here, even if our families cross-over from time to time."

"Father, you're speaking in prophecy-"

"And we're going home." Hades said, cutting Hazel off. "Thank you for accompanying me and Osiris; Cerberus really is a handful unless he decides he has a reputation to uphold." Said dog turned his head eagerly toward the palace adjacent to Osiris', hoping either a bath from Persephone or a bag of Nico-sized treats awaited him.

"It was nice to meet you." Nico managed, completely unsure how to address a god in a casual context when he wasn't seeking information for a pantheon and world-saving quest.

* * *

Really, it was a ridiculously hard conversation to end. So much so that upon returning to Hades' palace, Nico had nearly forgotten most of it because it was so awkward and his headache was giving him a rough time. The throbbing had extended to being caused each time he took a step or moved his head to look at something or Hazel, who appeared to be feeling better since her metaphorical rose bush began blooming. Hades left Cerberus in his usual place outside the palace's apparently back door to guard the Greek Underworld while Nico and Hazel sat themselves in the living room, Nico resting the back of his neck on the cool fabric of the couch.

"Do you need a glass of water?" Hazel asked. Nico shook his head and closed his eyes.

"We shouldn't get one on our own; Hades knows which water is safe for us."

"Oh, ok." They sat for a moment in silence. "What do you think Hel meant, about the pantheons and destiny and crossing paths?"

"Given that we've just defeated Gaea and I've just started a good relationship with someone, I really don't want to know."

"Do you think Persephone is feeling any better?" The doors on the opposite end of the room popped open. Nico leaned forward around his sister as Persephone hobbled into the room, carrying at least six or seven boxes in her arms.

"Lady Persephone?" Hazel asked. "Do you need some help?" Persephone poked her head out from around the boxes and smiled with big eyes.

"Hiya!" she exclaimed with a goofy smile. "Welcome home! Did you have fun with Hades? I know others ways to have fun with Hades!" Hades chose that moment to enter the room and cussed silently as he recognized the boxes in his wife's arms.

* * *

 **I forgot what the last line in this chapter was and had a little laugh to myself.**

 **I love Persephone, she's such a little cinnamon roll in my mind. In fact, if ayone is curious, I made an ice cream dish that I named "The Persephone" that is really tasty! Scoop out some French Vanilla ice cream and cover it with pomegranate seeds and juice and top it off with chocolate sauce! Try to find a balance between pomegranate juice and seeds, and if you're like me and have sensitive teeth, don't add as many seeds so you aren't biting directly into the ice cream, too. I promise it'll keep you in the Underworld for more than just six months!**

 **I guess I should preview the next chapter! I won't give away how it starts, which was also Thennie's idea, so here's a little mid-chapter context:**

 _ **"Did we give Nico and Hazel all their medication?"**_

 _ **"Yes, I did it myself. Good night."**_

 _ **"I thought you only gave Hazel hers."**_

 _ **"Are you telling me you gave Nico more medicine after I did."**_

 **I wonder what will come out of this situation..? Promise I'll update sooner!**


	14. Nico's ray of Sunshine

**What's this? Hermie finally found the motivation to write a chapter she told herself would be super easy to write?! While reading the newest adventures of Apollo?! Right before going to study in a different province for a month?! ZEUS HAVE MERCY!**

 **Welp.**

 **Between my horribly inconsistent updates, terrible lack of motivation despite the desire to write these, and finishing my first year of university, this small chapter was born! Yay! This is also the second last Hades family chapter, and the bedtime one comes up next! The start of this chapter was originally Thennie's idea, and it thus exploded into half the chapter, but half a chapter that I love!**

 **BTW I'm totally down for playing Mythology Hedbanz with anyone! (Except Nico. His skills kinda suck.)**

 **DISCLAIMER:**

 **Riordan will never ask Zeus for mercy; I feel like Apollo is more of a threat at this point.**

* * *

"Am I a monster?"

"No."

"Am I a demigod?"

"No."

"Am I a sacred item?" Hades tapped his finger impatiently against his leg.

"No."

"Am I a god?" Nico asked, adjusting the plastic band wrapped around his forehead. The other three nodded.

"Yes." It was the first time Hades spoke that Nico felt his stress decrease a little.

"Am I an Olympian?" Hades' eyes darkened.

"No."

"Do people like me?" Persephone giggled and tried to contain it, trying to compress her obvious smile as her eyes darted to Hades, who didn't have the heart to glare at her or Hazel, who's poker face was a little better than her step mother's.

"Probably not… no." Hades answered. Nico cocked his brow and stared at his odd family, each of which, like himself, were wearing identical plastic head pieces with cards depicting a mythological-something resting in a slot. At least now he knew what Hades and Persephone did when they were bored; the Greek mythology edition of Headbanz was a lot more pleasant than torturing the souls of the dead with their own two hands.

"Am I married?" Persephone giggled again. Since that afternoon, her nap had helped her cheer up and feel a little better, though she still had a cold pack resting on her forehead and would occasionally close her eyes for a few minutes. Hazel and Nico had both taken doses of cold medicine and could now breathe a little better. They had also discovered Hades was a surprisingly good cook.

Hazel spared Hades the hassle to answer.

"Yes."

"Have I had any affairs?" This earned him a scowl from Persephone, who lifted her look to her husband. Hades nodded slowly.

"Do I live in any specific domain?"

"Yes."

"Olympus?"

"No."

"The ocean?"

"No."

"The forests?"

"No." Nico bit his lip. His headache hadn't passed since their walk in the afternoon, and the game really wasn't helping. But, for the sake of Persephone and Hazel having a good time, as this was both her and his first time playing a modern board game in peace, he opted to keep his mouth shut until the game was over and stick to drinking some water to suppress the pain.

"Gods, what else is there..?" His father let out a sigh and looked him in the eye, as if he were about to scold him for something extremely obvious.

"You are me." He hissed, quietly.

"Oh." Nico felt his soul sink deeper into his stomach, like it was trying to hide from the disappointment in Hades' face. Persephone burst out laughing, earning a startled look from Hazel, who took it as permission to giggle a little herself.

"Hades, it's not your fault you aren't social and got stuck with the Underworld!" Persephone said, hugging him. Hades promptly wiggled out uncomfortably. "You just need to get out a little more with me around Olympus!"

"I don't feel like torturing your ears with the sound of my lovely younger sisters nagging me, thank you." He replied. "I've been the evil god of the Underworld for many eras and many children's movies. It makes me wonder if I should bother at all."

"Don't make me put happy pills in your nectar again!" Persephone giggled, poking him on the cheek. The Advil and nap had definitely worked.

"Lady Persephone, it's your turn." Hazel said, ending the somewhat awkward family conversation transpiring before her. Persephone's eyes lit up as she began giggling at the new card Hades had placed on his head.

"Am I a god of the Underworld who I love very much?" Hades rolled his eyes.

They continued with the game for the next half an hour, followed by a Hungry Hungry Hippos tournament with Persephone dominating the competition, though Hades insisted he only let her win because she wasn't feeling well.

Nico only felt his headache getting worse, pounding on all sides of his skull like a rock-hard balloon was being inflated slowly inside his brain and pushing the sides of his head close to explosion. Rubbing his temples and forehead didn't seem to help any; it felt like his fingers were close to falling off whenever he touched his head. Luckily, they soon called it a night. Nico stumbled back to his room, his vision blurring and stars dancing before his eyes every ten or so paces. What was happening to him? Maybe it was something in the medicine Persephone had just given him? He stared down at his feet, which seemed to be miles away from the rest of him, the black marble floors of Hades' palace moving slowly like waves. Waves; Nico envied Percy, who got to spend his time with the Sniffles in a domain that was proven to help heal his body. Nico was stuck in one that made his stress climb without his consent.

At what Hades guessed to be around midnight, Persephone shook him awake.

"I swear this isn't about my menstrual pains but if you don't wake up I'll unleash my hormonal rage upon you!" she hissed, shaking his shoulder until Hades swatted her off.

"What is it?" he groaned, sitting up beside her. He didn't mean to glare at her, since it was just his exhaustion taking over, but he was whacked in the face with a pillow before Persephone continued talking.

"Did we give Nico and Hazel all their medication?" she asked, her voice low. Hades nodded.

"Yes. I did it myself. Good night." Persephone punched him in the small of his back when he flopped back down onto his pillows.

"What do you mean you did it yourself?" she asked.

"What I mean, rosebud, is I gave Nico and Hazel their medication before they went to bed-"

"I thought you only gave Hazel hers." Hades sat up and flicked on the light.

"Are you telling me you gave Nico more medicine after I did." He snapped, staring intensely at his wife. Persephone nodded and paled further.

"Hazel told me you'd already given her hers when I asked, but Nico came anyway…" Hades grabbed Persephone's shoulders.

"Call Apollo. I'm going to check on him. Don't you dare wake Hazel."

Nico never had and didn't have any plans to be on fire. Luckily, he was spared the imagery and disfiguration, but was gifted with all the internal physical and emotional pleasantries that came with it. The pain stung his limbs and froze them in place; as hard as he tried, he couldn't tell if they were even twitching since his efforts only made his vision blurry and spin without moving his head. It felt like blood was pouring from his ears, but was clogged and couldn't get out of his head, which acted like a dam. Random words, memories and images floated through his head; they were the only source of relief from his pain.

Nico felt his lungs growing more and more pained with each breath as hot knives seemed to run up small roots in his chest on each side. He could barely hear himself breathing heavily and inconsistently over the sound of his head pounding to the words of a children's song he and Bianca used to sing…

 _Remember that time Bianca told you that you couldn't have any more eggs for breakfast? The sound of eggs cooking in a pan sounded wonderful and filled his chest, like he felt when he was with Will. Will didn't look at him one time and it made him sad so Nico looked away too but he didn't know what to do because what if looking away made Will sad, too..?_

Hades switched on the lights and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Nico. There was so much sweat on his face that he looked like he had just gotten out of the shower. His face had been drained of any color and his lips were dry from panting, gasping for air as his chest struggled to rise and crashed down as he exhaled. Hades pulled the blankets off his son; his chest was also soaked in sweat.

"Nico! Can you hear me?" he said, sternly. He hadn't meant to; he knew it was something that happened when he had to hide his fear. Nico's eyes were closed, but Hades knew he was awake. He grabbed under his arms and lifted him quickly upright against the headrest and pillows. He felt his forehead; it was dangerously hot. "I need you to open your eyes." He said, reaching to the nightstand beside Nico's bed for a glass of water with one hand as he supported his head in the other. The back of his hand sent the water falling to the floor. Hades cursed and patted Nico's face with his sleeve. "Answer me, please!"

"Hades! Is he awake?" Persephone asked, running into the room with her cell phone held to her ear. Hades nodded. "Yes, he is." Persephone said, turning her head into the phone. Only Nico's panting broke the silence that followed. "Yes, he's sweating… It looks like he's sweating a lot, and he's having a hard time breathing… What? No, there has to be something! Yes… yes… No, he hasn't eaten much, I don't think he'll throw up… We'll do what we can." Persephone hung up with tears in her eyes.

"There's not much we can do." Hades answered for her. His wife shook her head.

"Apollo said he'll be fine, but the pain… I'll get some cold water and face cloths. Try calming him down, get him breathing normally. He's probably scared-"

"I know that-"

"Talk to him like you did to me this afternoon."

"Persephone, please, I need you to calm him down." Hades urged, stopping his wife from leaving the room. "I can't talk to him like you can. You know how to… to do that… that thing where you know what to say." Persephone spun around and grabbed her husband by the arm. She pulled him into the bathroom of Nico's room.

"Listen." She began, shutting the door behind her. The panic in her eyes only lit the concern and seriousness that came out in her voice. "Have you ever thought that maybe you've been a terrible parent? That all the gods are terrible parents? Maybe it's time for us to fix that. Maybe it's time for you to look your son in the eye and actually connect with him. He's lying out there in a moment when he is the most vulnerable, and right now he doesn't need you, he needs his father. He needs the Hades that knows him and isn't held back by formalities or… or fear of talking to him like you would an actual son. Neither of you had a father, I get that, but he's so much like you are when you're around me, Hades; the words are there, but you aren't always sure how to let them out." They stared at one another. Persephone lowered her eyes. "If I go out there instead of you, what am I doing? Helping him, or pushing him further away from you?" Hades wasn't sure if he should be feeling angry or relieved. He rested his hand on Persephone's shoulder.

"I don't deserve a wonderful wife like you." He said, softly. "I'm afraid, but you're right. If I could somehow get you to marry me, I can keep Nico in one piece." Persephone smiled.

"I'll get some cold water and cloths; let's try and stay calm. Sorry I spoke to you like that earlier, I-"

"Don't apologize; no one can get through to me like you can."

Twelve hours later, Nico rolled his head slowly across his pillow, trying to find a cold spot to rest his face. He slowly opened his eyes, which felt extremely puffy and sore, and saw Hades sitting in a chair beside his bed, asleep with his head down.

"Father?" he asked, trying to sit up. His bones felt weak, but weren't in any pain. When he spoke, his whole face felt dry and unwilling to move. What had happened last night while he was asleep? Then he realized he wasn't in his old room; he was in a new bed with a wider bedside table, which was covered in face cloths, towels, a bowl, a cup, and a basin of water. Nico examined his new pyjamas as he tried to remember what had happened the previous night after he had gone to bed with a pounding headache so bad, he had wondered for a second if there might be a goddess inside him, too.

"Hades?" Nico asked again, louder this time. That's when he realized that his sinuses had completely cleared, just like that had last night… He remembered something about telling someone that he was sad Percy was contagious, of all things. And that Athena had stolen the recipe for Hades' helm of darkness to create Annabeth's Yankee's cap and Nico was very distraught about it at the time.

"You're awake." Hades said, softly, stretching his arms out in front of him. "How are you feeling?" He looked like hell; his eyes were dark with exhaustion and his face had been rid of any color.

"I'm feeling alright. Not bad, though. I can breathe." Hades ran his hand through his now messy black hair. "How is Hazel?"

"She's fine; she says her sinuses are mostly cleared now, but she's still feeling lightheaded. She and Persephone are having lunch now."

"My headaches are gone." Nico added.

"That's good. You'll be able to go back soon, then." He didn't say it like a question. Nico was glad for that. "Will must be worried about you." Nico felt his chest tighten and his blood freeze as every hair on his body seemed to stand on end.

"How do you know about Will?" he asked, slowly. The only explanation he could come up with was that Hazel let it slip while he was asleep or panicking during the incident of the previous night. Hades blinked at his son.

"You don't remember, do you?" he asked, softly. Nico shook his head. He barely remembered anything outside of feeling in a lot of pain and relief at once.

"Did Will try to contact me?" Hades shook his head.

"You were begging me to contact him." Nico felt his warmth slip away under the covers. "I know you're in love with him." Hades spared Nico the energy to ask questions. "We gave you too much medicine last night and you went into a fit; we needed to calm you down." He began, not looking away from Nico's eyes even when they rarely darted nervously around the room. "Persephone looked after you physically while I tried talking to you about anything I could; Bianca, Hazel, myself, Persephone, Camp Half-Blood, anything. You told me about the different people at camp you considered your friends in rather… curious ways." Nico nodded.

"Athena stole your helm?"

"I know she stole my helm. You rambled on for a while about the seven until you started crying." Nico felt his ears heat up. Hades took a deep sigh. This was going to be awkward. "You told me you missed Will and one thing led to another until you told me you loved each other." Hades paused. "You weren't too upfront about it, really. I figured that out for myself after you told me you loved him more than anyone else and he chases you around with sunscreen on hot days."

"Oh, gods…" Nico's warmth had flooded his face and made his stomach do backflips. How could he have said all that? He had no idea how to respond, but it was true; he hated sunscreen and Will was the most important person in his life. "And I tried to contact him?"

"You fell into my arms and began bawling. It was rather awkward."

"Please, tell me I fell asleep soon after."

"Persephone took over and got you to calm down and have some nectar mixed with something to help you sleep once we made sure your fever was cooling down." The deeper they got into this conversation, the more fear Nico felt. Hades hadn't once reacted to his relationship with Will; that couldn't be a good sign. He'd fallen another step farther from his father's acceptance again, and this time, he wouldn't have anyone around to help pull him out of it. "Nico." Hades took a deep breath. "Don't be scared of what I think." Nico felt his stomach bubble as he lifted his eyes to his father's.

"What?"

"Last night, you told Persephone how scared you were about what I would think of your relationship. You were scared you'd never face Will the same way or I'd abandon you completely."

"I'm still afraid; tell me."

"Tell me why I shouldn't accept it." Nico froze.

"What?"

"Of course I accept you; both of you." Hades replied. "There's no reason I shouldn't, is there?" Nico shook his head and breathed nervously.

"Do you really mean that?"

"I swear on the Styx that I do. Isn't this how you wanted me to feel?" Nico nodded.

"I expected you to be distant and… refuse to accept it. I didn't want it, but I was so fixed on what I thought might happen that I gave up thinking you'd be okay with this."

"Nico, I've been a real shit father. Persephone told me something last night about making up for the mistakes of generations of godly parenting and absence, and when I looked at my relationship with you, it was full of mistakes and horrible choices, all on my part. The only thing I can give you now is the truth in return of your own, and it is one of acceptance, something us gods and our pride rarely show. All I knew was being pushed away, but I no longer want it to be what you know, especially when you've found someone that brings you back in." Hades paused. "And, I suppose you could have chosen worse; Jackson, Grace, a daughter of Aphrodite, or Demeter-"

Persephone coughed from the doorway.

"I suppose you won't mind it if I don't come this winter, then?" she asked, darkly. Hades sighed.

"Rosebud-"

"Don't Rosebud me. Lunch is ready, finish your bonding time together. I hope I broke the awkward." With that, she shut the door behind her. Nico and Hades sat in silence, staring at the door.

"I'm hungry." Nico finally said, slowly rising from the bed.

"You and me both, Nico." And father-son awkwardness led them out the door.

* * *

 **Gods, I love Hades. He never does anything wrong in the myths, and BAM! Children's move villain! I couldn't resist the joke; I'm sorry universe, I have failed you.**

 **(And has anyone noticed the _Citizen Kane_ nudge Hades is making? Apparently, not only does he read a lot, but he loves classic movies!)**

 **So... let's talk about the bedtime chapter! The way the bedtime chapters go is pretty simple; god talks to demigod about how said god met said demigods mortal parent and how the god feels about them/their relationship with their kids. It was easier last time because Jason and Thalia shared a mother, but Hazel and Nico are different. I'm going to try to get a good mix in there, but I'm debating on something as well.**

 **Should Hades chitchat with one while Persephone chitchats with the other? I think it would be interesting to hear her point of view on Hades' other relationships, given that he never had many affairs, and she's a pretty fun character for me. Let me know what you think, and feel free to throw around ideas!**

 **Since I actually haven't started this chapter, (yet) here's a special preview for the next block of chapters!**

 _ **There's a spider in the bathroom, and literally only one Olympian goddess is chill with them. Send in Olympus' favorite helicopter-mom.**_


End file.
